Interpret Sass

The b-word.

2012-01-18T17:16:00.000-06:00

Today was one of those hard parenting days. The kind where your heart breaks for your child because you can see the hurt in their eyes, the conflict between being good or giving in to the anger or fear.
We received a call from school today that Nicholas had called his friend a bad word after he fell on some ice and this friend laughed at him. As the friend laughed, Nick spat "You're a b*tch!"
If I had been there I may have laughed because I'm a momma bear and anyone that laughs at the expense of my kid is a selfish, malicious, unpleasant person. (as websters #3 definition says)
Rob and I waited for himto come home. We waited and waited, watching him not want to come home. Once he reached the door he stayed outside, I said we will just wait for him to come in. Nina finally opened the door to him when he was looking in the window, as if checking if the coast was clear. It tookhim 10 more minutes to come upstairs to where Rob and I were waiting. He had big crocodile tears, and he looked utterly defeated. I had told Rob he could be the "talker" but it became clear to me this boy needed tenderness and the opportunity to tell his side. We asked where he heard that word. (It is not in our regular vocabulary) After waiting out his "I don't knows" He told us that older kid on the playground had called him that when he told them to "get off the soccer field we are playing here." It saddens me that a) this language is used at such a young age and b)that the older kid took a cheap shot at somone younger and smaller then him instead of setting an example.
I guess my expectations are again too high.
We took our turns telling Nicholas what our expectaions are for him in situations like that and he did have to mouth a bar of soap, plus write a letter of apology to his friend for calling him a bad word.
We had also enlisted Papa to call and ask for an account of what happened. Papa asked him what he had called the boy and having just sucked on a bar of soap he was not going to say it again so he spelled it out bich. I had myself a good chuckle out of eye sight of course.
All we can do is love him, teach by example and hold him accountable for his actions.
He is a sweet, intelligent boy who is learning about life all around him, and some times that outside world is a whole lot more cruel and unfair then the world in our home.

The Intervention of Fatty

2012-01-17T13:22:00.000-06:00

It has happened twice now. The first time was quite embarrassing since it was at a friends house. My Husband, whom I'll call "Fatty" was sitting on a chair at the table, we had just had a wonderful dinner and were going to play some board games, when all of a sudden the chair broke into pieces under "Fatty". They told us not to worry that the "chair" was old and had been glued together before...
Before? Before what? Before Fatty killed it?

Well it happened again, this time he broke my *new* bench!
He stepped onto it and "crack", it broke.
He looked at me "Yeah Fatty, I heard it!"
"Well, this bench...shoddy made...something something..."

you can't explain fatty fat fatterton

At this point in the story I better remind people of what "Fatty" looks like:

I know hhhhhuge. The guy makes toothpicks run and hide.

My advice to you, do not let this man sit on any of your furniture, no matter how tired or "innocent" he looks.

He will break it.

(she whispers) Because he's a Fatty and there must be an intervention.

Phew!

2012-01-07T20:09:00.001-06:00

Today marks the official end to our hectic season. It was suppose to be our family birthday party, where we celebrate both kids birthdays with family in one swoop. First Nana and Papa wouldn't make it, they left for their winter home last week. Then sickness took over knocking out Grammy, Aunt Sherri, and nephew Blaine. It ended up being a guy fest. Two of Rob's dear friends coming over and the 5 of us talking sports and drinking beers. Not how I would have imagined my kids birthday party,but the kids love seeing Uncle Nick and Pauly. Uncle Chris stopped in for a bit too. I baked "the" cookies, both my kids aren't really cake eaters.
I feel like I can finally take a breath. I just wish we had some snow. This "winter" has been really weird for us up north. We've had dustings that have melted within days, no real cold snaps to speak of. It makes me wonder if Mother nature is saving something big for March. (dread the thought) But we've learned here that March madness means snow dumps, but then again we should have had about 2 feet of snow by now. For now, I will enjoy play-off season and wait...until the snow decides to come to town.

The One Posted from the ipad.

2012-01-04T11:21:00.001-06:00

I had a very "techie" Christmas. My sweet husband gave me an ipad. Technically it was a combo gift for Christmas and our 10-year anniversary, but he waited to give it to me until Christmas. It started last summer when he began looking into getting a laptop which he would need for work. He decided on a Macbook. I have always loved Macintoshes. The last job I had , we all had Macs. So when he told me he ordered his Macbook I jokingly said: " I hope you ordered my ipad too." From there I just kept needling him, ipad ipad ipad ipad. We were shopping at Sam's club before Christmas and I saw a keyboard case for the ipad, I had never seen such a thing. THAT was the moment I wanted a ipad. I say wanted because they are totally expensive and not even on my "list". Dreams are nice to have, dream gifts are fun to dream about having. When I unwrapped my ipad my palms literally started sweating and I kept thinking, "it's too much!" I have had it now for 10 days it has been a learning curve, but I love this thing! I can do just about anything. Like, type this blog, granted it is not like using the computer to which I am used to. (I am looking sideways at this thing, because for what ever reason blogger won't "right itself" with the way the screen is going. I have news, weather, facebook, bible verses right at my fingertips. I might be late to this party, but I be that crazy girl dancing in the corner "Woo Hoo THIS is AWEsome!" And I will still be there dancing in the corner when most everyone has left to go to the next "big party". I'm loyal, I stick around until I kicked out or somebody puts a new toy in my hand. I also got a cell phone. Rob took the one I had, so he could have a phone for job leads. I never missed it. In fact the second I turned it over to him he upgraded. A few times while being out and about, he couldn't get a hold of me...seriously, OMGosh like it was that important, what did people do before phones, oh yeah they waited. I opened the phone, I said "really? I didn't ask for this." He laughed and said no but you needed it. I am not crazy about touch-screeny things, so he got me one with buttons to. It is defiantly better then the last one I had, he's even commented that he likes mine better then his, that's because he's a tech-geek and bells and whistles get him excited. Ladies maybe this could be a revelation for us?! Just kidding...
I love that the ipad is portable. I can take it anywhere, wifi is pretty much everywhere now. I can look up sunday advertisements and plot my shopping list. Did you know I have a horse? yeah, it's an app. I installed it for Nina, she loves horses but she got bored with it, you have to feed it and groom it and exercise it all without the stink and sore butt! I named her Duchess, and she rocks. Can an ipad charge your life? I don't know about that, but you can do a lot of things with it, like own a horse and shoot birds into buildings and drive a super fast car, pin thing, chat with friends, work on writing, catch up on news around the world...
I can read in bed on a night setting...
ipad=AWEsome!

Seven

2012-01-01T11:17:00.000-06:00

Seven can be a favorite number. Some say in marriage you get the seven year itch. I think Brad Pitt did a movie about seven sins, but I don't like gory movies so I never saw it.

Today I'm talking about seven because my "baby" turns seven TODAY!

I refer to my son as our sweet surprise. After I had my daughter I was comfortable with not having anymore. Then in May of 2004 I got a surprise. I wasn't too happy about it, I was afraid, pregnancy was a scary thing for me. At my first ultrasound, around 11 or so weeks I saw the little peanut on the screen my very first thought was "Hello little boy."

Then I tucked that little "knowing" aside and asked about a gillion questions.

As time went on and things were different this time around, I began to embrace the surprise.

At our 20 week ultrasound, with our parents looking on, the nurse began pointing things out to us, arms, legs, the heart beating. She asked me if we wanted to know what it was, I "knew", I said to her "It's a boy." She nodded to me, I heard Rob's mom say "What?!? So I said it louder, so the room could hear. "It's A BOY!"

After it was confirmed to me, I thought I know nothing about boys, except they are boys.

Thoughts of casing down a kid that ran away, or telling him to "stop that!"

I wasn't sure I wanted to experience boy.

Rob, of course, was delighted!

We had a birthday party for Nina, her second. At the party a friend of mine came over to me and asked how I was doing, as she gently rubbed ~~my belly~~ my huge belly. I told her "Ready to be done."

She looked at me and said: "You are going soon."

I laughed and said "Yep, date's set for January 4th."

She said: "No, you're going sooner."

I didn't know what to think about that.

We had a low key New Years eve...I don't even remember staying up late, but I was dog tired new years day. It was a good day to sleep, there was an ice storm outside.

I felt "funny", I couldn't get comfortable, I didn't feel "right".

I had braxton hicks with Nina, so bad that I was on bed rest,so I knew what that felt like. This was just a feeling not a physical feeling. Rob encouraged me to call the doctor, which I didn't because I wasn't going to be one of those women that went in and got sent home for false labor, we already did that in early December because I had been doing too much and needed to rest...

I wasn't in pain, I didn't even feel cramping.

By 4pm Rob had had enough of my complaining and he called the doctor, to which he said come in we will check you out.

Yeah, did I mention the ice storm?

Nana and Papa came to stay with Nina.

It took us just over an hour to get there. I was hooked up to the monitor and yep this was labor. My doctor had just gotten off a 24-hr shift, he didn't want to come back in so he ordered a around of shots to try and stop the contractions. The nurse checked me, I was at a 3. an hour later the contractions started up again, stronger. Another shot came, she went to check me and I closed my legs, informing her she would not be poking around again. She said something about needing to check...I am not aware of what I said, but Rob will tell you I was not nice and would not cooperate. 45 minutes later contractions came back stronger yet, she didn't even try to touch me other then give me the shot. 30 minutes later contractions were back and I was not a happy camper. I remember saying "Your crazy!" when asked if I'd like to try a v-back and saying "I am DONE! Get Dr. Campbell in here, I am having a c-section!"

I'm sure it was not that polite, but I wasn't really in my right mind, labor hurts, I didn't like it and I have an extremely low pain threshold. Paper cuts leave me crying!

I never had an issue with c-sections, I think God knew that I would not be a good "birther" so he helped me along by giving me the perfect doctor to ease my mind and help me through the pregnancy and take care of me on the table. I loved my doctor.

He came in and made sure to tell me that I ruined his evening. (We often joked because of where my due dates landed)

I said "Oh and mine is going so well?"

"You will have a beautiful little boy, I get a cold steak."

"So lets hurry up here, your steak could still be warm if we get this show on the road!"

I was a quick transition into surgery, this time around I didn't have bells palsy, I got to recover with my baby and husband. It was amazing!

I remember seeing Nicholas for the first time and thinking: Is that all!

He felt so huge in my belly, and yet he was just under 7lbs, smaller then Nina was who was near 9lbs.

I was in awe of him, here was this little guy that I was not excited about, this little guy who wanted out now! How would he fit into our family?

Eating out of the dog dish...

Taking after his Daddy with his favorite place to read...

Eating show off the deck...

His ~~obsession~~ love of red...

His goofy looks and faces...

His wanting to be like Daddy...

His passion for Hockey...

His first soccer goal!

His first save as goalie!

Learning to ride his bike!

Last night we took the kids out to dinner, Red Lobster to celebrate. (well, us and about 1,000 blue hairs!) This morning he opened his gifts with a lot of "AWESOME!"(s) "WOO HOO!"(s) and a couple "OH YEAH! UH HUH!"(s)

(air hockey game)

(nerf basketball game, from Nina)

(razor scooter)

Just a few of the things...

It is hard for me to believe that he is now 7.

He still curls up in my lap and wants my kisses and hugs.

I could never have imagined how this little guy was going to steal my heart. But God knew just what he was doing.

HaPpY BirThDaY Nicholas!!!

Merry Christmas everybody!

2011-12-24T11:22:00.000-06:00

The stockings are hung.

The cookies are baked.

We hope you been good, for goodness sake.

The star tops the tree.

The manger is set.

A baby born, to pay our debt.

Jesus is the reason we celebrate this season

Rejoice! Rejoice!

Spread the good news,

Let his light shine the whole year through.

From our family to yours; We wish you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Table and chair drama

2011-12-21T18:41:00.000-06:00

Back in September Rob and I ordered a table and chairs set from a local Amish store. It took us 2 hours to decide on the table, which chairs we liked best and then the color stain we wanted. It was a grueling task. I was promised I would have them by Thanksgiving. Perfect!

Finally the week was upon me, I hadn't heard anything from the store, which was odd, because they said they'd called when it came in. I called and got the news that the chairs were not done yet...something about being at the finishers.

He couldn't tell me when they'd be in, maybe December4 or maybe December 14 or 16th.

What?!?

He apologized, told me that the chair maker has become "inconsistent".

Whatever that means...

Could he bring the table and loaner chairs?

The chairs he brought, he said, were from another order the chair maker screwed up, now he had 64 of the he was trying to sell...he jokingly asked if we wanted to buy four?

Wrong color, wrong style and wrong wood.

I kindly declined.

Dec. 4th came and went with no call.

Dec.14th and Dec.16th came and went without a phone call.

Monday I called. My chairs were in, could he bring them out tomorrow.

Absolutely!

Chairs arrive an hour later then the time I was told...

I walked out to see them.

My heart sank when I saw that they were the wrong chairs.

I spoke this out loud.

Rob stood there staring, The guy went to look a the order form and I went inside and got the picture off my fridge. The picture I had been looking at everyday from the day we ordered them. I was fighting tears as I went back outside and handed Rob the picture.

"Yeah, I can see on the order these are the wrong chairs." The guy says.

I was crying now, couldn't talk, defeated.

The guy rattled on about how the chair maker named two different styles the same name and that He could get us our chairs in two weeks...work some kind of deal...

I walked back in the house. I left Rob to deal with it.

The chairs would stay with us until we got the right ones...

Rob and I talked about it all night. I couldn't understand the lack of attention our order was given. Did he really NOT know that these chairs were wrong until I said something? Does he not check these things before he delivers? Was he hoping to pass these off to me, hoping I wouldn't notice?

I know mistakes get made, but at what point do you try to make amends? At what point do you say to your inconsistent builder "Hey look your work isn't what we want anymore, we are going to go with someone else."

The chairs are not ugly, they are nice actually, but they are not the chairs we picked out, chairs we took 2 hours to choose.

What kind of deal would we be offered?

It came in this afternoon, and hefty discount on the chairs, if we kept the wrongly made chairs otherwise it would be another 4 weeks for the right chairs.

That didn't seem right, I get the chairs I ordered, 2 months later then originally told and no discount?

That made me angry. Made my hair rise up.

See when we ordered our table and chairs, I was willing to pay in full, but He said no, wait for the order to settle up.

Okay fine.

Well, I now had the table I ordered, four chairs I didn't, but matched the table and I had to settle up.

I called him up, He got mad at me!

"What you've never had a mistake happen in your life or what?!"

"That's not it, I have lost confidence..."

"I can guarantee that the chairs will be perfect."

"No. No you can't, you already guaranteed me the set by Thanksgiving, then you brought the wrong chairs. Your guarantees mean nothing to me now. This is what I want you to do for me: Give me the price you told my husband, I will not be paying the delivery charge and I will settle up right now."

He mumbled through the calculations and gave me a number; it was less then the number I came up with. I said "Settled."

Seems like a lot to have gone through for a table and some chairs. But in the end it saved us over $500 and 4 weeks wait.

Here are the chairs:

The one on the left is the style we ordered, the one on the right is the one that came in our stain color. Similar, yet not the same.

But for $500 I will like them.

Let's do this.

2011-11-29T09:53:00.001-06:00

I can't say it enough: I am not a morning person.
I like to take it slow, sip my coffee, let the sweet nectar lazily flow through me, waking me up.
So when my doorbell rings and my beautifully sweet neighbor asks if Rob is home with frenzied eyes, I think oh crap! I have on a nightgown, hairband and fuzzy socks! You have GOT to be kidding me.
I say "Oh, Kari, no he's at work."
Now it's panic I see in her eyes.
"My car is dead..."
I'm thinking, I'm thinking...YES! I have those jumpery cables things! Check!
Oh, wait, you need a car to jump from...no not jump FROM but jump to...NO! I mean you need two cars.
Fail.
"I'm sorry he has the van." I say praying my stank coffee breath hasn't reached her.
She looks defeated, I apologize again.
Ugh, I hate that I can't help her. Sometimes, I hate being "a girl".
Lets face it, there are just somethings girls can not do, or should not attempt to do. Car stuff is one of them, for me. I hate the smell of gas. Grease under nails drives me crazy. I could not tell you what most tools names are.
And I would not expect my husband to say, do Nina's hair or bake cookies that don't come in a tube.
Yes, I do know how to change a tire, in theory, but that doesn't mean I'd do it. Yes I do know how to use the jumpery-cable-thingies, but I'm not going to attach them to the battery, because I know that you aren't suppose to wear white after labor day, unless you are a bride...so red to black or red to red, black to black...it doesn't matter, I'll wait for some nice guy to come in and do it.
I call Rob. Because that is what I do when there is a guy thing that needs doing.
Okay, we have a box thing that will jump it.
He gives me instructions. The Sara kind. I march across the drive-way nightgown, I've added robe now, fuzzy socks and jumper-box-thingie. I knock on the door, hold up the box and say "Let's do this!"
Kari laughs. Then I notice she has a box thingie too. Hers is newer, spiffier and it's clamps are a whole lot bigger.
"Oh," she says "Your clamps might work! Mine are too big."
Yes, friends things CAN be too BIG. It's never jeans in my case.
It's charging, we're chatting, when a nugget of info comes out.
The Cadillac is finicky, sometimes when it looses power it has to be restarted, or I should say the computer, and without that it won't start. It's like some fancy safety system to prevent stealing or something...I wouldn't know I've never owned a Cadillac. I drive Chevys and Subarus and a Mopar. (That is a Dodge brand folks.)
I call it a day, because frankly, I'm freezing and embarrassed that I'm standing outside in my robe, nightie and fuzzy socks and there is no hope of this working until the security issue is resolved.
I call Rob back.
"Well?"~Rob
"It didn't work."~Me
"What do you mean?"~Rob
"The car is too fancy for the box. It needs a fancy pants box computer upboot security something or other to start it."~Me
"Cadillac."~Rob
"Yep, Cadillac."~Me

This is morning number two that has not gone the way I like. Lazy, slow...
I think from now on I just need to roll out of bed, hit the fuzzy socks and say "Let's do this."
Because no matter how the day starts, it's a new one; it's what I do with it that makes it a good one.

Lately.

2011-11-15T20:32:00.000-06:00

Okay...Maybe you noticed Interpret Sass was gone. And maybe you checked out They Call Me Sara.
And maybe you too have gone through a blog post dry spell. It seemed every time I would log in to my dashboard Blogger was reminding me that I still have 2 blogs, that Interpret Sass is still there and that if I so choose it will bring it back from...I have no idea where blogs go and yet stay when you delete them...
So here I am back on isass because, well, it feels like "home". That that grungy pair of sweats you've had for years and just can't bring yourself to throw away even though you have to double tie the knot so the ratty things stay up on your hiney because you just aren't hip even to wear boxers under your pants and let them ride the hump...
Double tie.
That is what I do.
Now for the bloggy slump.
Do you realize I just said hump and slump in the same post AND it is in no way x-rated?
(I'm giggling, My husband would say "Who would have thought I married a 13 year-old boy?!")
To which I say my generation came to age with Beavis and Butthead/Wayne and Garth, Hip hop songs like "Doin' the Butt" and "Gonna Make You Sweat" by C&C Music Factory.
So yeah we think pretty much anything can be made to sound...um...
Anyway, I haven't been too inspired to write nearly all summer.
It has taken me awhile to feel settled in, able to breathe and comfortable in the new normal.
We have gone through quite a few changes, one of them, My husband being home 24/7 with me.
I have to tell you, honestly, from the beginning I have looked at this a a blessing. How many people get to spend that much time with their best friend? I worried about what it would do to him. Would he fall into depression? Get surly? Become angry or bitter? I would "check in" with him every now and then; "How are you doing?"
Well, he's kept himself busy. He has read his bible every.single.morning after the kids leave for school. He never lets the laundry baskets get full, never leaves a dish on the counter or in the sink. Takes the dog for walks throughout the day...
I should be thinking, boy is he making ME look bad here, he keeps a better house then I do!
But the reality is, I have been sitting back and observing my husband. This is a man I once considered not marrying because there was nothing "wrong" with him! Everyday we ask each other "What do you have to do today?" and then we plan our day together. We eat together, we run errands together, we fold clothes on the floor together watching a show we taped, we are nearly always together.
This year will be our 10 year wedding anniversary. Ten years I have been with this man and in this 10th year I have gotten to spend so much time with him. I have gotten to watch our love grow in ways that it would not have if there was a job to go to...
God has provided for our needs that I could not fathom months ago.
I would not trade this time for ANY amount of stable income or job. You can not buy this. This time is special, we are growing, refining, being prepared for something only God knows. Rob will be starting a new work endeavor after the Thanksgiving weekend. It is rather bittersweet, giving thanks for this wonderful time together, that is coming to an end.
I know he is looking forward to the challenge of something new. (I would tell you what he'll be doing only when I tried to explain it to a friend recently he told me: "Sara, you just said a whole lot of words without saying anything!" And honestly that would still be the case, but hears the just of it; selling application software to businesses. That's the best I can do.)
I will be moving into a challenging period, because I will not have the van on a daily basis to run errands as I once did freely. I will have to become an organized guru again. *Sigh.*
So here I am back on iSass.
More updates to come, this is hard work, getting my fingers into typing again.

Crafting

2011-11-06T13:16:00.000-06:00

I have been busy stalking Pintrest for Holiday craft ideas.

Then I head out to find the things I will need...

Finding other things along the way.

Like this Joy key...

I used the printed burlap technique to make this cute frame using the Joy key.

Then I found a tutorial here to make these adorable Sock Snowmen.

I found the socks at Target, buttons and a giant bag of rice (for the filler) at Walmart. I'm all about the cheap.

Twine and bells from Michael's and the nose I used kabob sticks, coloring the end with a orange sharpie I had from our trip to Disney.

The one thing I started, that is ending up costing me more then to just have bought it at Target...

It has been a nightmare trying to find large, medium, small and tiny balls all the same color. This has balls from nearly every store around me, and I still need more tiny balls...sigh.

I have two more crafts that I am planning on making...

Hidden.

2011-10-14T15:33:00.000-05:00

It looks like an ordinary box of wrapping paper doesn't it?

But look closer...

There is a hint of black...do you see it?

Investigate closer...

Tabitha has snuck in the box and is now playing a game of cat and mouse.

Guess which one she's being right now?

Silly Tabby.

Eleanor's Apple Cake.

2011-10-11T18:36:00.000-05:00

My grandma was known for her baking.

She and my mother would bake Christmas cookies with homemade cookie cutters made by my grandpa out of coffee cans.

One of my favorite easy recipes is her German apple cake.

I don't know why it's German, that's just what the recipe says.

Here is what you need:

Eleanor's Apple Cake

8x8 pan

Ingredients:

1 egg (beaten)
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1 cup sugar
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon cinnamon

2 cups diced apples (about 2 honeycrisp, or granny smiths)

*1/2 cup walnuts*

Heat oven to 350*.
Grease and flour pan.
Beat egg. Add oil, sugar, and vanilla. Stir with spoon. Add flour, salt, baking soda and cinnamon. Mixture will be thick and sticky.
I like to add the apples to the bottom of the pan and pour/spread mixture over them.
*Since I love nuts I add walnuts, and it's usually more then 1/2 cup. I sprinkle them on top of the mixture.
Bake for about 35-45 minutes, up to an hour depending on your oven. Do the toothpick test.
We like to top it with caramel sauce. (the stuff you buy for sundae topping)

Or if you are feeling adventurous make some of this...I made it for thanksgiving last year it was to die for!
Enjoy!
Oh, and feel free to double the recipe if you need a bigger batch, I never do because that means I eat more of it.

In the moment

2011-09-13T19:28:00.000-05:00

I've been trying to stay in the moment; trying to enjoy right where the moment finds me.
All too often I find myself accelerating forward to the next thing, the next thing, the next thing.
Conversations with my kids get cut short because my mind has already left the moment.
A moment that I could have spent on them, gone.
I am taking steps to stop, enjoy this, because when it comes to conversation, you need to listen NOW, when they talk about horses, pretty outfits and Sasquatches with robot hands...
Because all too soon the things you want them to tell you aren't going to be important enough to "bother you with."
Tonight at the dinner table conversation went to marriage, it started with Nick saying "I like yogurt raisins, their goooood."
Nina follows it up with: "I hate them, they are gross."
It is an ongoing thing at our house, one likes something so naturally the other can't possibly like it.
So I said to Nina: "Nina you are going to end up marrying someone who loves peanut butter."
It is the one thing she really REALLY hates.
"No I won't."
Rob and I both answer her: "Yes, yes you will."
Jinks!
Nick pipes in: "Oh yeah! You're gonna, and he'll want peanut butter every.day."
I laugh, he's funny.
So I give him one: "And Nick you're gonna marry someone who likes pasta!"
Something he doesn't really enjoy eating, we usually have to play the "no dessert if you don't eat" card with him when we have pasta.
He stuns me with his response.
"Yeah. Then I will change."
I looked at him, his eyes bright.
"Nicholas," I say sweetly "I am so glad to hear you say that. You can not go through life without changing. You my son have the best attitude."
Nina pipes in across the table "HEY!"
When ever he gets praise she pipes in with a "Hey!" that means: what about me, am I chopped liver?

No, not by a long shot, but she is in the phase where she doesn't want to listen, she has all the answers and she isn't afraid to say so.

We were driving the other day, she likes to sit in the front. Traffic was awful, we were driving by the university campus and I said "Must be a football game."
She said "Or hockey."
I wasn't sure if she was serious or being argumentative.
"Neen, it's football season." I said gently.
"Or it could be hockey."
Okay, now it's on.
"Nina, there is no hockey games being played right now."
"There could be."
"Nina, hockey season hasn't started yet. It's football season."
Okay point made move on.
"I think it's hockey."
My blood is starting to boil, this child is going to be right.
Nick pipes up from the back seat, "Nina there is no hockey games."
Yep even the one with selective hearing heard me right.
"Nick! You don't know!" She yells at him.
I admit I lost my temper.
"You do not get to be mad at him for telling you what you refuse to hear."
I told her that there is baseball, there is football, there is tennis, but the reality is; hockey season has not started and NO there was not a huge traffic jam near the campus because of hockey, it was a football game. FOOTBALL. Football. NOT hockey.
She was quiet the rest of the ride home. She was mad at me; not because I yelled at her, but because she wanted to be right.
Once my temper cooled, I asked her: "Nina, why do you constantly agrue with me? You think you know every thing and honestly sweetheart you do not."
She gets angry with anyone who corrects her. She knows what she knows and nobody is going to tell her different.
Wow, that is was so much like me.
Looking ahead I can see where this path is going to lead her, I've been there. Totally sucks when your pile of "rights" turn to the wrong sh!t. STINKS, oh baby does it stink, but it does fertilize the heart so something TRUTHFUL can take root and grow...
I am so thankful she has a Daddy that can gently guide her, where her Mama is prone to push and pull her.
I think girls test their mother's; they have to; to see what they are made of. They need to see where they are going. Mother's have to be strong, we nuture and love and teach all because someday we have to be strong enough to let them go. Our precious workmanship will now be tested. Mother's have to be strong for that.
Daddy's teach a girl how the world is going to view her, a Mother teaches her how she should see should view the world and how not to let that affect how she sees herself.

Again I say I am so thankful that my daughter has a Daddy that is kind and totally in love with her, very unlike the dad I grew up with.

Nick was a lively bugger tonight adding that he's going to be just like his Daddy!
"I'm gonna drink beer, hang out with my friends and eat hot sauce!"
Rob: "You are not drinking beer until you are 21."
Nick:" You weren't 21 when you started drinking beer."
Rob: "The law was 19 back then Nick. It's 21 now."
Nick: "Well I'm gonna change the law then, cause God is great, beer is good and people are crazy."
We busted out laughing.
Nick: "What?!? Billy Carrington is a smart guy!"

Now had I not been in the moment I would have missed that nugget.

Sara meets Gussy.

2011-08-24T16:59:00.000-05:00

Do you remember I told you about a surprise birthday party I went to earlier this month?

Do you remember me saying I was quite surprised to meet a certain "famous" fellow blogger?

Here's proof I'm a major dork.

I went over to ask Molly (the birthday girl) for a band-aid for my son who scuffed himself on the edge of the pool. As I was standing there not wanting to interrupt a conversation, I noticed a sweet little bag with a tag on it that said "Gussy".

I snatched it off the table and asked "Oh, who gave you a Gussy?"

Admiring the cuteness.

Molly pointed to the lady sitting next to her, I hadn't noticed her, because there were many people there to celebrate Miss Molly and nearly half I did not know, so I just assumed she was someone from church.

As recognition hit me.

It's Maggie Whitley! Gussy Sews!

I wanted to hit the rewind button, you know walk over like I was cool, calm and collected, like I meet famous bloggers everyday.

Instead I turned beat red and gushed like a fool "Oh my goodness!~ Your Gussy!"

Like she didn't know who she was, right?

She was so kind and sweet, we chatted about how I knew Molly, which is a tender close to my heart story and one I didn't want to share when there were so many questions to ask her!

We talked about her business, I could have pulled up a seat and talked forever, except well I had a bleeding son, plus I didn't want to just bud in after all it was Molly's birthday party, not Sara meets Gussy day!

I mean seriously, I felt like a total spaz.

How cute is she? No wonder her bags are so adorable!

Check out her blog. See what I'm talking about.

I'm new to pinterest.

2011-08-21T15:27:00.000-05:00

I just got turned on to pinterest, I know, I know, I'm late to this party; but I'm making up for lost time. So today I'm sharing a few "pretties":

First comes from my own stash. Shoes I found at DSW.

Those that know me, know I never wear heels. I can't fight the bunions.

I think I found some that both my bunions and I can agree on!

Cute wedges!

Next: a place I've been thinking about a lot lately!

It was around this time last year that Hubby took me to Chicago, it was never a place I had to go, but having been there...my soul is wanting to go back.

Source: reddit.com via Sara on Pinterest

This chair! Oh my word. It was meant for Minnesota winters, that by the way, start right after Halloween...

Source: thatschic.net via Sara on Pinterest

Since I'm longing to GO somewhere and clearly do not have the money to do so, I'm going to make this, and think about all the memories that flood back looking at my maps!

Source: everythingfab.com via Sara on Pinterest

Lastly, my hair is driving me crazy! It is getting long, I'm trying to grow it out. I hate my forehead, I hate hair in my face, I wear glasses AND I have wonky hair:

I thinking I want bangs.

Source: keikolynn.com via Sara on Pinterest

But my cowlicks...

Why can't I have a hairstylist that lives in my closet?

If you haven't joined pinterest, why not?

What's got you pinning?

Train.

2011-08-14T12:55:00.000-05:00

I feel it coming. Roaring in the distance like a train. Warning me get out of the way, off the track, It's coming. Like it or not. It has a schedule to keep.
Every year in the middle of August: the school year approaches.
I have mixed emotions about it.
I tease the kids: "Party time for Mommy!"
But it feels more like scab picking.
There is this wound, under a thin layer of skin, that after the summer tan fades and peels away exposes it closer to the surface. It takes really nothing at all to pick the scab and start to bleed.
I will be alone.
Alone.
I prize those moments when the house is quiet, but when the bus comes; the house goes silent.
My son, my baby starts first grade.
First grade= all day school.
There will be no slow mornings snuggling on the couch together.
No lunch rush to make the afternoon bus.
There will only be the morning rush, a flutter of activity to wake, clothe, and feed children and organize backpacks in order to get to the bus stop on time.
Then I will close the door and be embraced by silence.
I've never done well in silence. There are too many thoughts that bluster their way into my head.
I get side tracked; Jesus is waiting, but suddenly in the brouhaha of thoughts he is forgotten.
I don't like admitting that.

I'm suppose to be this rock, this pillar of motherly, wifely, Godly strength, focus and service.

So why does the speeding "school" train bother me so much?

From as young as I can remember, I wanted to matter. I wanted to be needed. I wanted to feel like I was really part of something good. Irreplaceable.

The season of raising young kids is ending in my life and I am grieving it.
It is raw and painful, distracting and unnerving.
I know where I need to focus. Jesus.
I have plans for us to be ~~good~~ great friends this year.

But right now all I can hear is that stupid train coming.

The roar of the bus as the brakes are engaged. The clicking of the lights, changing from yellow to red.
That sound of the door opening, the sound of the feet climbing those steep steps, the sound of the voices lost as the door closes and locks it's contents in. The roar of the bus as it drives away and the sight of the faces you love so much wave as they round the corner and then turn away to laugh and giggle with friends.

We have a bit more time. The kids start school the day after Labor day. There is this mad rush to do as much as possible these last few weeks and get ready for the school year.

I remember being young and looking forward to school clothes shopping and the smell of a new box of crayons! Oh the possibilities!

Now those crayons represent possibilities for my kids.

A new school year, a new grade to master, new friendships, experiences and challenges.
And that goes double for the kids! LOL!

It's all in how you look at it, where's my focus?
Am I gonna focus on the silence? Or use that the silence to focus on the whispers?

Once that train moves down the track things are gonna sound a whole lot different!

Pet tails.

2011-08-11T19:45:00.000-05:00

See this little white fur ball?

She's our new kitty.

We are all a bunch of suckers for homeless strays.

No really, Rob was at a party in college and the house had a dog, Lady, she fell in love with Rob so they let him have her. When he came home for the summer it turned out Lady wasn't such a "ahem" lady... She had puppies.

As for me I went to work one day ticked off at my boyfriend, one of the gals I worked with brought in a kitten that had been coming around her house. Boyfriend was allergic, so naturally I brought the kitten home. Next we have Louis, we showed up in our warehouse at work, my boss gave me instructions: "Find a home for that thing or I'll break it's neck."

I believe he would have, so I took him home. Now I had two cats and no boyfriend, I was well on my way to becoming "the cat lady".

Cue bar scene: busy, full of people. Pan left, two pretty women sitting at the bar talking intently. Pan right, two guys just walk in and scan the scene. They spot an opening at the bar, they go to place an order. Girl in the red sweater grimaces, turns to hand guy #1 a beer. he smiles, she stares...

You know the rest.

So now it's Lady, Tabby, Louis, Rob and Sara.

Lady is put down due to very ill health.

Louis gets fat.

Louis goes out one day and doesn't come back.

Pet store. Adoption day.

"We could use a dog."

chow/retriever/lab mix.

Gabrielle.

Gabby is very distrusting of men.

Gabby hides under bed to get away from Rob.

Gabby tears up bedroom carpet trying to "escape".

Make a call to Vet.

Make a call to a pet therapist. (NO joke.)

Therapist tells me it will be like living with a special needs child.

Make a call to pet adoption organization who sold me said dog.

"Oh, yeah we've gotten nearly every puppy back from that litter."

No kidding? Gee, why do ya think that is?

Take dog back, they will work on rehabilitation.

Gabby does not return.

At a friends birthday party, told they have two kittens they found on the side of the rode.

Cassie Gin joins the family.

Cassie loves to hunt.

Visit friends that just got a new puppy.

The itch starts.

Random walk through mall, see black schnauzer.

Go home.

Must.get.dog.

Piper Presley joins us.

Cassie enjoys staying out all night hunting.

Cassie enjoys leaving headless "gifts" on the deck and in yard.

Cassie gets a new home on a farm in a different city.

two months later Cassie shows up.

Cassie is locked inside at night.

two days later Cassie goes out, and never comes back.

Apparently she didn't like our rules.

Happy family: Rob, Sara, Nina, Nick, Dog-Piper, Cat-Tabby.

Kids go to VBS, Nana says we have a kitten living under the deck.

Kids want to go see kitten.

Kids see kitten and beg for kitten to come home with us.

Kitten must be a girl to stay.

What should we name kitten?

Nick~ "Bella"

Nina~ "Snowball"

"We are not naming the cat Snowball. Daddy what do you think?"

"I like Bella."

Bella it is, well we can call her Bella but she must have a full name.

Isabella Rascalini

Unless it turns out she's a he, then it's Max and Max will be living with Nana and Papa.

It has been a few days now. She is making her place in this family.

Tabitha was not happy, Piper thought we had gotten a new chew toy until she was on the receiving ends of sharp tiny claws!

She is mostly white, with a tuff of buff on the top of her head and two black tuffs on her neck. The tip of her tails also has black.

Bella is a pro at hide and seek. It is amazing how this little thing can find places.

She loves to sleep. If she's not sleeping she wants to eat, after a snack she likes to play.

We now own:

one cat scratch post.

one feather wand

three fuzzy mice with feather tails.

one twine mat.

one feather twine ribbon thing.

one empty box from the neighboring liquor store.

two litter boxes.

All for this little rascalini!

Summer

2011-08-05T14:43:00.000-05:00

~~I love summer~~. I love what summer represents; Opportunities to spend what feels like endless time making fun! And we have had some fun, even in the misted of a foreclosure.

We have all gotten a nice tan, even though we are heavily caked with SPF30. Summer started with soccer.

Every week we would race to the fields, I would fret over what we had for dinner and how we had just wolfed down yet another hot dog or burger to get out the door and to the fields...then I would settle into my chair and watch in wonder as my kids chased the ball, kicking it to and fro and every so often getting lucky with a goal!

Nina had her first experience with going away to camp. If it wasn't for the move I think This would have hit me harder. It was only for 2 nights and she was going with on of her best friends.

She was completely open to going, ready to stretch that cord. She got quiet right before getting on the bus. I stayed and waved until the bus was out of sight. I was greeted in the morning with a camp picture on their facebook page.

There she is posing with her cabin-mates. Once I saw this I knew she would be just fine. And she was. In fact she came home stating: "And I want to go again and this time for a whole week!"

Yea, that might be something I need to ease into...

Another first: Fishing. We live near a lake, we bought the kids some poles. Nina Barbie, Nick Snoopy. It's a birth right in this family to have a Snoopy pole! (My first pole was Snoopy, Rob's first pole was Snoopy.)

Nina caught the first fish. She was excited and scared. She wouldn't go near the fish, I had to reel it in, but she was very concerned that the fish was going to be hurt. I'm not sure she realizes that most of the time when you fish, it's for eating! Shh, lets not break that news yet.

Oh and the boy, threw a fit because he hadn't caught one yet. His line spent more time OUT of the water then in, but he still couldn't understand why he wasn't catching anything.

Ice cream! Homemade. Store bought. Dairy Queen, you name it we've eaten a ton of it!

Legos. We have spent countless hours building totally awesome houses, cars and playgrounds! This is one of Nick's works. He was so proud he asked me: "Can you take a picture and put it on the computer so I can put it on Legos.com?"

If you didn't know; I am a Harry Potter junky. So when I was at Target, in the lego aisle and saw THIS on clearance...

Ah, yea, I snatched it up, went home and worked on it for an hour. There is a light-up cauldron where the dragon hatches. A secret hiding spot for the Sorcerer's stone. A letter from Madame Maxime. And of course Argog, the giant spider, there are even spider babies that if they are left on there own make me want to grab a tissue and squish 'em! Strict orders are nobody plays with Hagrid's house. If any of my Potter peeps go missing the cruciatus curse will be used...

Summer has brought us many birthdays.

Cousin Blaine's first birthday.

Cousin Preston turned 5!

And this beautiful lady, Molly (center) will be turning 40 soon and her sweet husband planned a surprise party to celebrate her! (they live in a different state now) The three of us girls (Sarah A. is the lovely blond) first met nearly 6 years ago in a women's bible study. I cherish these friendships. Some of the other gals weren't able to make it, but it's the same every time we get together, we jump right back into things as if it were last week!

Then there are the festivals! The best one is coming soon; the state fair.

We recently saw Clifford the big red dog! I took Nina to meet Clifford when she was a little baby, so I begged her to get another picture. Nick was not going to do it either until I walked right up to Clifford and proclaimed "Clifford I love you so much! Can I hug you!" Which may or may not have freaked the person out inside there, but she did let me hug her and after that the kids came around. We also saw the Cat in the Hat go by on a golf cart. That was pretty cool too.

Speaking of "famous" I met someone at Miss Molly's birthday party. I won't say who yet, not until I get the picture of it...but it was someone from blog land and it was so unexpected I think I may have acted like a spaz. Once I get the picture I'll tell you the story, until then go get some ice cream, dip your toes in the pool, there is one month of summer left make the most of it; or if you live in the south, there's five more months of it...Here in Minnsota we are weeks away from apples and sweatshirts! I'm giddy just thinking about it!

Happy Summer Peeps!

U2

2011-07-24T18:11:00.000-05:00

Last year in May, my husband came home giddy. I wasn't sure exactly what he knew that I didn't but it was something...big.

He showed me a pair of tickets, and I thought "Cool, what musical did he get?!" (I think Wicked was coming...

He laughed at me and said "It's not a musical." He knows me so well. I gave him the "I wasn't thinking that." look, even though I really was thinking musical. Then he smiled and said "We're going to U2!" I had known they were coming, Rob's brother got tickets and told us what he paid. YIKES. This girl doesn't see many concerts, can't afford 'em. Certainly not a concert of this magnitude. I laughed, then I saw the tickets and they said "suite".

"Are you kidding me?!?! These are suite tickets! These are $275 a piece tickets!" He nodded and said "I know. Todd gave 'em to me." Then the news came that Bono was having back surgery and the concert would be rescheduled for 2011. I hid those tickets, and hid them good. I didn't find them again until we were moving and Hubby said "What's this purple envelope taped to the bottom of your dresser drawer?" (Oh! YEAH! That would be the U2 tickets!!!!) This past May Rob got let go from his job, When that happened I jokingly said "If Todd calls tell him I lost the tickets!" Todd did call, but to tell Rob that he hoped he had a great time at the concert!

So last night we dropped the kids off at Nana and Papa's house and headed downtown. It was crazy all the people. We felt like "the other half", like (whispers) rich people. (giggles)

The suite, was well, SWEET! They had food waiting for us, killer brownies and best of all we were under shelter...

Look at this crowd, it is still mind-boggling to me that we were looking out at all this.

Dim the lights, lets start the show....

This photo was on our local paper's website, View from a helicopter. AWESOME!

I could not believe I was watching this guy, He truly IS a Rock star! Even in the downpours of rain, lighting flashing in the distance, this guy still ROCKED.

One of my favorite moments, Bono asked us to take out our cell phones, this picture doesn't do it justice.

This was a true blessing for us, one of the best Rock concerts and we got to go for free. It is something I will never forget. Last night laying in bed I said to Rob, "You know, I'm glad we don't get to go to many concerts, because it makes the ones we were fortunate enough to see that much more special!"

Cool.

2011-07-20T10:20:00.000-05:00

The pictures have all been hung. We have a new bedspread, ( it's not the one I wanted; but it was half the price and it came with decorative pillows.) making the bed feel complete.
Everyday seems to bring a new sense of thankfulness. I can now remember where certain things are, without opening 5 cupboards to find it. Even the cat has made friends with the neighbor cats.
Funny story: Tabitha was an out doorsy cat, she would sit in our driveway or lounge in the back yard, the furthest she'd go was the neighbor's yard, never out of sight of her "home".
In our new place I just don't trust that she knows where she is yet. So since we've moved in I've taken her out for a bit each night. A couple nights ago our neighbor's cats were sitting in the window watching her as she tip-toed in the grass tail up and happy, they were stuck behind glass watching...it was hilarious. Their furry heads turning back and forth watching her every move, then Tabitha noticed them. She cautiously walked up to the window and stared back. Then suddenly she threw herself up unto the window spread-eagle style. The cats just stared at her. Then Tabitha turned and walked away.
Have you seen Good Will Hunting? The part where he gets the girls number and as the jerk walks by outside the bar he slaps the paper up against the window and says "How do you like them apples?"
That's what I imagine Tabitha saying to those cats. Yeah, that would mean she's kind of a snot, but she is. She's spoiled. I could spend a whole post talking about why she's spoiled and what her "demands" are. But I realize some people are not cat people and I can respect that. I too wasn't a cat person, that is until I met Tabitha...
To day is suppose to be one of the hottest days of the year, we are expected to reach up into the hundreds. For you Southerners that may be nothing, you hit that back in May; but I live in Minnesota, you do realize that only Canada separates us for the North pole right? Just kidding, Canada is quite big. We have maybe 3 or 4 days all year in triple digits, most of our year is spent with a -minus in front of our degrees.
Days like these make me wish for snow falling outside, a pot of soup bubbling on the stove and fuzzy mittens and warm boots. I know, I am a strange one. I love the sunshine, I love the warmth on my skin, but the heat that wraps around your body the second you step outside and feels like someone threw a hot wet blanket over you.
It's hard to breath. And please don't get me started on the sweating and frizzy air.
My kids want to go to the pool, my husband wants to go to the beach and I...well, I'd like to go visit Santa for the day!
Here's to staying cool!

Settling in.

2011-07-16T18:06:00.000-05:00

We've been taking our time, settling in.
This past week we went and got the kids registered for school and drove past the new school they will attend in the fall.
We got new keys made for our mailbox, and got a lay of the land so to speak.
I know where the cash machine is, grocery store for quick pick ups and for the big shops are. We have about 7 different pizza joints all within walking distance, and a quaint little honky tonk down the road. (They have the best homemade pizza rolls)
Soccer ended last week and we are embracing the slow lazy days.
Nearly all of the boxes that are going to be unpacked; are; and everything else is stored nice and neat. We are nearly prepared to get two cars in the garage.
It feels good.
I feel good.
God is good.
It still breaks me wide open when I think of how far this family has come in just the last couple weeks.
The message at church was a powerful one, reminding us that we need to glorify God in our lives. That when we spend too much time thinking about our problems they can overwhelm us. But if we spend time seeing God in ALL His Glory, our problems begin to shrink by comparison. Nothing is too big or great for Him to handle. I would be lying if I said I didn't fret constantly over where we would live, but ~~I tried~~ I succeeded in turning my thoughts every.single.time back to the great provider, our God. The glory is His. He gave this home to us, he worked it out in His perfect timing. I only followed Him, stayed obedient in my thoughts, constant in my prayers and He led us here.
We still have urgent prayers, but there is no longer doubt that He will answer, I just need to stay faithful, patient and grateful that He is changing me, molding me for something else other then a "worrywart".

The new place

2011-07-11T21:02:00.000-05:00

I have been without Internet for about a week, honestly I haven't had time for it. Everything happened so fast, but I can say that God brought something good out of our situation and is still doing good works. Let me fill you in.

Wednesday June 22nd, Rob and I looked at a town home very near our house (Jefferson). It would allow the kids to stay at the school they were already at, but honestly it was quite small with absolutely no storage. We had looked at this place early on in our search back in February, but deemed it too small, but now facing "the date" with no place to go we thought maybe it wouldn't be so bad for a year... My mind was filled with worry, it did not feel like home in any way, the only comfort to me was the kids lives would stay fairly the same. On Sunday June 26th I answered an add for a rental, I was stunned to be called back almost immediately and asked if we'd like to see the place that evening.We jumped at the chance. We found out our "landlord" lives out of state and that the neighbor would be showing us the place. We were very impressed, and liked it very much. Now it would come down to would he be willing to work with us. God's hand was all over it. We got news Friday we could move in. Saturday July 2 we moved in. We packed the house in 2 days! I mean we literally packed the ENTIRE house in two days. We did a make shift garage sale on a Tuesday and made some good coin. Ordered a dumpster for Tuesday and closed on Jefferson on Thursday.

We were worried about closing. The bank accepted an offer which kept us out of foreclosure, our credit still took a hit but we should be able to be home-owners in the not to distant future.

We arrived early and were able to sign all the papers before the new buyers arrived. We were told we owed nothing and our final water bill was being covered as well. It was finally over. The months of stress. We had our soft place to fall and I am so excited to show you what God has done for us!

Front door, upstairs into living room.

This is the living room, with a bathroom off to the side, that is Piper, she wanted to be in every picture, like she's giving you a tour of her new digs!

This is the dining room on the opposite wall of the living room, yes our fireplace is in a wonky spot but we didn't want the living area right off the kitchen and the dining down the hall, besides I have the computer desk near the fireplace, just think where I'll be on cold winter days.

The view from the kitchen. We sold our dining room table in the garage sale. I've wanted a new one for a couple years and I thought this would be a great time to get one, so until Rob has income and we find one we like, we are using the folding table and chairs. Classy, I know.

The kitchen is still a work in progress, it seems like I change a cupboard around everyday. My cabinets are super tall, I can only reach the first shelf! Luckily I did not sell the step stool!

Off the kitchen is our "Outdoor room". (since I took this picture we got an outdoor rug on clearance.) I sit out here every day, it is my grateful place. Not a day goes by that I don't give God thanks for what he has done for us.

Steps going up to the bedrooms. Tabitha wanted to get in on the tour giving too.

Nina's room. IF you'll remember we had painted her room at the Jefferson house turquoise blue, this new room matched her bedspread with the green. Unbelievable!

She finally has her own closet to hang things up, Or I should say where she could hang things up, most things end up on her floor.

Nick's room, again perfect color match.

This is our room. I have always wanted a blue room but could never find the right shade. This room spoke to me when we first looked at it. We were in need of new bedding, the bedspread we had was a wedding gift, nearly 10 years old now and I have had to sew it several times already. (Just today I found one at JCPenny's that I plan to watch like a hawk to go on clearance.)

Our master bath, I bought those rugs last year, look, perfect match! I am so unused to double sinks I don't know what to do with the other one! There is a linen closet behind the door, and a regular tub/shower.

The closet. Oh.My.Word. We have literally quadruple the space of our old closet. A sad fact, my husband takes up over half the new closet with his clothes; makes me laugh.

There you have it our new home.

We were welcomed by nearly all our neighbors, two of whom attend the same church as we do. Both kids have made friends with neighbor-kids, that has never happened. There is a pool in our complex, which the kids LOVE. They will be attending a completely new district for school, which we are told is one of the states best, and having made friends already, the kids are looking forward to their new school.

We are continuing to settle in, Rob has a job interview this Friday which we are hopeful about.

I could not have imagined how God would work this out for us, and today I sit and give Him all the praise.

June's end.

2011-06-29T10:33:00.000-05:00

I wanted to give a quick update.
We have been extremely busy. July is ~~looming~~ getting closer and closer and we still don't have a definite date that we need to be out. it's one of two and there is really no difference other then 3 more days .
A job that Rob interviewed for two months ago has been filled with someone else. As we were talking about it last night, Rob said to me. "I think God wants me here for a reason, I think we are suppose to work on the house thing together. GO through this together."
I will admit that I had been feeling like I was going it alone. I would look at all the rental sites 5-10 times a day, call to set up showings and I'd have to work around Rob if there was interviews, or meetings or what have you. (Not that finding a job isn't IMPORTANT, it is, but finding a home for our family is more so right now.I can honestly that now that his focus has shifted, I feel him present and there for I don't feel so weighted down, like I was carrying "this" load alone and he was carrying "the job" load alone. Instead we put the one load down and are working together to carry this one. Once it is in place we'll go back and pick up the next load and carry that one together.
I is amazing to me that you can have common sense, you can have some wisdom, but life IS a constant journey that you WILL learn from because you are suppose to continue ON, not stop and get stuck. I was stopping, getting stuck, Rob was stopping, getting stuck; but now when one gets stuck the other is right there to pull the other out and onward.
I can feel God nudging. June will go down as one of the hardest months I've ever had. I won't say worst, because how can you call something that you fought through every.single.day and made it out STRONGER, you're not worse for that you are refined! (I can not find the verse I'm thinking of, something about being tested in the fire and coming out liked refined precious metal.) Rob is wanting me to take over the garage sale so he can mow the grass...see working together! LOL

Heart-shaped.

2011-06-21T12:32:00.000-05:00

I love this picture, it could be taken of my collection, but it's not. I don't live near sand, as in beach, as in ocean...
Everywhere I go, I look for a heart shaped rock. I have found many, It's a good thing I don't travel often because I'd need a fork lift to move my collection.
It start as a kid, I loved rocks. I loved the way to fell into your palm, the weight, the shape, if you curled your fingers up and around the rock; did it feel like it belonged there?
If the answer was yes, I kept it. It drove my mother crazy, she'd find rocks all over inside the house.
"Rocks belong OUTside." She'd say.
When I was 19 I spent a summer in Boston as a nanny. I got my first taste of "foreign" rocks. I thought, "Hey if I take this rock from here I will some day have to return it."
Then I started asking people: "Hey would you do me a favor and get me a rock?"
They'd look at me like "What?1?"
"Yeah, you are going to... and I have never been there, so if you bring me a rock I will one day have to bring it back."
I have quite the collection, I used to be able to remember where they all came from, today it's more like a select few, because I really really want to go there.
With the rocks I bring home, I started looking at the shapes and the heart shaped became the ones I'd keep.
They remind me that HE loves me, and where ever I am HE has been there first, and if I happen to find anything heart-shaped,(A random berry, a rock, a potato chip... well it means He is right there with me. It's like a kiss from God, instead of the tell tale lipstick marks from a beloved grandma or mother, it's a carefully shaped heart. They don't just happen to look like a heart, God is sending you a heart-shaped love note.

Sitting here

2011-06-19T21:54:00.002-05:00

I am sitting here, Rob Lowe whispering in my ear, telling me stories he "only tells his friends."
He is interesting, and he likes to use the f-word. Or the people he is quoting like to use the f-word.
It's not like I've never heard the word, it's just that the impudent speech hasn't been a part of my life for about 8 1/2 years. The occasional sh*t will fly if I drop something on my foot or knock my head, but other then that I guess I've just lost the sass...

Last night I was sitting here, staring at the computer, at my blog thinking; I am not interpreting anything these days. I am scared to get it wrong; afraid that my petty human wants will somehow be interpreted as the God's gentle nudging. Though my heart is in the right place, it's my head that I do daily battle with. I have to literally change my thoughts mid-thinking them. Because if I don't, the enemy will snare me.

News came that Rob's bosses are refusing him his vacation pay. My mind quickly took off at light speed cursing the men responsible for causing more undue stress. My mind plotted sweet revenge, not that I'd really egg their cars...but my mind laughed at the thought, maybe it would be hot and the egg would bake into the paint. I get no pleasure from that thinking now of course, because the moment I felt it taking hold I prayed for forgiveness and thought of God shaking his head at me in disappointment. I felt shame. Then it was gone, because I repented and I am forgiven. I then thought of how, after I was out of his gaze he chuckled at me. Really? Eggs? That's what she came up with.
Well yeah, because I can be angry, I have a ferocious bark, but the bite, well it's more of a nip and never breaks skin. I am not a mean person.

So I've been thinking: Interpret Sass needs to change, has changed.
Over this past year God is doing something in my life, and I have learned that I never was a good interpretor of his plan and after awhile you mature and learn that being sassy has it's limits.
I want to be whom God intended, Sara.

It can only get better.

2011-06-19T21:49:00.000-05:00

They call me Sara. That is my name. I am not sure why my mother chose it. Why from all the other names she chose for me, Sara.
I am thankful it is not Martha...(after a great grandmother)

Sara is Hebrew meaning princess.
I certainly do not feel like a princess, I do not live a princess life and I do not walk around wearing a crown. Though I did grow up feeling like having a crown would get me love, affection and adoration, like it did the countless queens and princesses that won the pageants my parents ran. I never did win one, I did win best party dress though. :0)

In my one and only "drama" skit for our church I played one of the sisters in the story about Mary and Martha. The two are very different, and when Jesus comes for a visit, Mary sits at Jesus' feet and listens to him and his teaching, Martha, on the other hand, is busy doing all the work.
She asks Jesus "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her to help me!" ~Luke 10:40

Jesus tells Martha " Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."~Luke 10:41

I can relate to Martha; when there is so much to do, it just isn't natural to stop. Listen. I can relate to her annoyance in her sister, Martha feels like she must now do it all, shoulder the weight; and she doesn't think that's fair.
Now that I think about it Martha should have been my name.
I go about my life fastidiously doing the work on my to-do list and really ~~can't~~ won't be bothered when there is so much to do.
I can't take time to listen if God might be telling me something, that takes so long, and I need to hurry up, get on with it...go go go.

There really never is quiet. Think about that for a second, how often do you sit, sit still, with no sound, no radio, no television, no person chatting in the background. We are constantly plugged in, wired up, online, wifi~ed, bluetooth~ed.
It takes effort to quiet your surroundings, it takes even more effort to quiet your mind.

My pastor once said women are like computers, there is ALWAYS several windows open and more waiting to "bing" in. It can be a window that hasn't been opened in years and "bing" suddenly she's reliving that night her parents called her trash because she wore a short skirt on a date.
My mind is never at rest.

I don't know how to be anything other than what I've been. I know I need to make changes. I want to make changes. I am easy to anger, but thankfully with God's delicate pruning I am quick to say I'm sorry.
I make stupid judgments. (Seriously, does that person know how to park? Maybe they should trade in the mammoth SUV and get a car that fits...) And now, I can also feel the sting when I hear a judgment being made in my presence. (A comment about an outfit, big head, what have you, even if it's a person on television.)
I am learning to be more forgiving. And sometimes forgiving means ending a relationship because no healing can come from continued hurt.

Let the journey continue, it can only get better from here.

House news.

2011-06-15T20:35:00.000-05:00

We got the call yesterday that the mortgage company is going to except the short sale offer that was made on our house.
I would be lying if I said this wasn't a huge kick in the teeth. We had worked so long and hard to come to an agreement with the mortgage company to us they said NO. But they excepted an offer ~that makes me sick in the stomach~ low.
July 7th is the closing date. That is IF they can get the money lined up. IF they can get an inspection done. IF we can get a closing that quickly.
I have started packing. I'm not sure how I'm suppose to pack but it's started.
Without verifiable income we can not get approved for a rental.
This has been the hardest thing for me.
Rob and I had a heart to heart the other night where we compared feelings: Both of us feeling like we are swimming with anchors on our backs. He's still fighting, I'm still fighting...there is breath in our lungs and we are calling out to God.
This has been the longest endurance test of my life and I can only come out stronger.
On the job end, Rob has had some great interviews and interest, unfortunately commission only, no insurance jobs won't work for us.
I have not worked in nearly 9 years. My skill set will only get us so far, and it will take me away from my FIRST job, my children. I do realize that many households are a 2 income family. My background is pretty much ALL childcare. My husband and I have talked at length about what is and is not right for our family. My working for minimum wage this summer is not right for our family. That is all I'm going to say about that.

We are gearing up for a moving sale. I did not want to have a garage sale, they have always been far more work then profitable for me; but I am ready to do some purging!
Speaking of purging we got a nice solid offer on our dead as a doornail, not gonna ever run again unless you want to sink $$$$$ into it, Subaru. YES!

I have my moments, signing the papers yesterday was not a good one. Today though God is with me, and every time I turn my thoughts I am rewarded with His Peace. However I'd really like to rewarded with a solid job and rental. "wink wink".

RIng Ring.

2011-06-09T13:08:00.000-05:00

I hear ringing, it's not quite a constant sound, but it happens often enough.
Luckily it is the phone, or should I say both phones. I don't know what happened but yesterday they were going bananas.
My cell phone, which I never use because I'm always home. My cell phone bugged me; I'd see commercials about apps and texting and email...what a PHONE can do that?
Oh sure, just not my lame-o one. I have a pay as you go model.
When Hubby got ~~fired~~ let go they took his phone. EVERYTHING was in there, well not everything, I'll get to that later... But all his contacts.
So he took over mine, I could care less and wished him luck because that darn thing never worked properly for me.
He really does have drive, he worked on it for nearly a week and yesterday he finally gave up.
"We need to get you a new phone." He said.
Oh, I knew this phone wasn't for me, it was for him, temporarily, you know until he got hired and got a new fancier one.
I wanted to stay with Blackberry, but not have a Nextel Blackberry, if you don't know what Nextel is ; it is a beepbeep "Are your there man? Roger, Roger one niner you copy?" Walkie talkie sort of gizmo, I hated it.
He would walkie me if I was taking too long in the fitting rooms:
"Hey, you about done in there? It's been 20 minutes, I was about to send a search party."
Real nice. That makes a girl feel good while she's wrestling with clothes that used to be the size...

Well, we found out the Nextel Blackberry wasn't compatible with the cell service plan I have: Boost.
No wonder the phone never worked right. (How in the world is a stay at home mom suppose to keep it all straight, excuse me I did not graduate from MIT.)

So, he picked the new fan dangled thing that is "touch screen".

He kindly let me see it, I am not liking it. Not at all. The sounds are different, There is no buttons, you have to slide things this way and that; I like BUTTONS to push, I feel like I need to give a retna scan to make a call on it.
So that phone has been ringing.
The land line has been ringing. Which are two very good things. Seems there are a lot of people that want to meet with my husband. Woo Hoo!

Now the part I told you would come later:
Last year about this time Rob came home with some pretty cool news: One of his vendors gave him tickets to the U2 concert. Well, Bono had to cancel because of his back and the concert was rescheduled for this summer. I hide those tickets.
Rob said to me today "Todd called me."

(Todd is the guy that gave Rob the tickets and we often joked that Todd would ask for the tickets back if Rob no longer worked for Metro.)

I said "And you told him I hide the tickets right?"

"I did."

"And?"

"And he said 'Tell her she better find them before July 23rd cause you're gonna need em to get in the show.' Todd told me 'You're going man I want to see you and your wife there! Just making sure you still had the tickets.' "

"Awesome. I wasn't giving them back."

Rob hit me playfully on the butt and said "NO you weren't."

No I seriously wasn't.
You don't get box seat club level tickets to one of the greatest rock groups concerts and give them up. Besides now more then ever Rob needs to make contacts right?
For the record, if I had to I would have given them back, but I knew Todd would never ask ;0)

He has three interviews tomorrow and several lined up for Monday. I am so happy for him. It's good to see his smile coming back.

Today I got fed from the Proverbs devotion:

And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. ~ Philippians 4:19

Lysa goes on to say that one of the subtle ways Satan tempts us is to plant the hesitant thought in our mind that God will not meet our needs- that God is not enough.

I love her prayer:

Dear Lord,
Help me to focus only on Your provision in my life today. I don't want to be separated from You, Your best plans for me or Your peace. Help me to notice when the enemy is trying to entice me with false desires, because they only lead to emptiness. In Jesus' name, Amen.

This was the sweetest ring of them all.

Weekend update.

2011-06-06T12:22:00.000-05:00

I had a fairly uneventful weekend. Friday we had dinner at my in-laws church. It is always nice to see the church family, who always seem to know us, even though we go to a different church. They are so welcoming and friendly.
Saturday we went to the beach for the first time this year. It is not like the beaches y'all have on the coast(s). It is a man-made chlorinated thing with a sand bottom. Rob and I out-lasted the kids.
I also found out that sunscreen should be applied along the armpit region. Yes, I found this out the hard way.
Sunday was a difficult day for me. I took some time to go "shopping". I needed to pay a bill and find a new bra. I found it difficult to pray. I have been praying for the same thing for nearly two years now. And things aren't going the way I would have, ahem, expected. Gosh, does that sound snotty or what?
I just have lost my "want" to pray, because each time I do I feel like I am being selfish. How dare I pray for financial stability when more then half the world is poorer then I. How can I pray for a nice home, good neighborhood, friendly neighbors when their are places in this world that awful things happen to people. They have no home, let alone a pillow or mattress. They fear for their very safety, pisha, good neighborhood, they'd settle for not being threatened...
I feel so awful that my prayers are so...so...American.
Yes, I want for a better world. A less sinful heart. Good health.
But I want this burden taken from me. This awful sense of "I don't KNOW."
Where are we going to get money? Where are we going to live? How are we going to survive?
Will we have to eat PB&J sandwiches for a year? I frankly, haven't even considered that. But maybe that is what this is all about? Maybe I've been so ungrateful for what I've had, so discontent that this is payback. This is consequence.
I don't think I've been so discontent. I don't feel like I'm worse then others with my wanting better.
I really honestly don't know.
And when I think to long about it, I ache.
I do not want to get bitter.
I do not want to become angry.
I do not want to shake my fist at God and say "Why are you doing this?"
But those are all the things that the mind does. I was raised by bitter, angry resentful people.
It has been very difficult to stay in the promise of God.
One day at a time. He promises one day at a time.
My children have started saying to me "Mom, you need to start packing. We are moving."
I have know idea where we are moving to.
I will pack when I need to. I can only deal with today. And today is not a packing day.
I feel like I owe my friends an explanation or an apology.
I haven't been much of a friend lately, especially in the last week having found out Rob lost his job.
I can not talk about IT. I do not want to think about IT. If I go there, I may get lost and never find my way back from the bitterness.
I am feeling weak; but I am taking care of myself. I am closing ranks and leaning into those whose faith is deeper then mine. I HATE admitting that. I hate that I am weak, that I need to focus so hard on who God is in order to stay out of anger. I wish my heart would just know and I wouldn't have to fight this battle daily.
Please continue to pray for us. I do feel your love and it is such a comfort to me.

Seque way.

2011-06-02T13:45:00.000-05:00

There is a blessing in all this. I know there is, I just can't see it ...yet.
We stopped by my husband's parents yesterday. They fed us, not just with food, but with unspoken love. The family's pastor also joined us for dinner along with Rob's brother, sister in-law and nephew; who frankly; I can't get enough of. (it's got to be the cheeks!)
Pastor Lisa is a very compassionate woman, she asks little questions and has a caring spirit.
Rob said "Last night was the first night I've slept well in years. A weight has been lifted off me."
This man's faith and strength astound me. I could never have imagined how I would witness such a thing.
I come from a line of complainers, wallowers,selfish greedy nothing pleases-ers.
Faith is not in that vocabulary.
Just two months after meeting my husband I suffered a break down. I went in-patient for depression. He was my worldly rock. He held tight to me as I felt the alone-ness grip at my soul. He was my link to Jesus. He softly whispered prayers and led me straight into the arms of Jesus, where I was reborn.
Throughout our marriage, Rob has always had this great faith.
"It'll all work out."
And it has.
Last night I told my husband. "I'll be the mouth. I got lots of things to say."
He laughed with me and then gently told me that maybe God wanted "the mouth" to be quiet.
If you knew me, I mean spent time around me, this mouth has big control issues. Like when a thought pops in my head and before I can even think about it the mouth has already spit it out. It would take an army of dead-bolts to lock this mouth down...
But in a sweet conviction my husband reminded me, that blessings only come from obedience and that includes complete obedience from "the mouth".
Last night as the thoughts still rattled my brain, thoughts I refused to let come out of my mouth, I felt my heart changing. Those feelings melted away and today as I think about those words that burned to be spoken, they have no weight, no meaning because the anger is gone. (yep, I still have to work on my thoughts, but one step at a time. One baby step...)

The fear of loss is a path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering. ~ Master Yoda

I thought I'd segue way into some pictures:
Hollywood studios had Star Wars weekend while we were if Florida. I think it was the highlight of our trip. Even if it was the hottest day, nearly beating a record! Right before we left we watched all 6 movies. Phew! But it paid off. The kids knew who everyone/thing was! And it made the *new* ride that much more exciting! (New technology upgraded the ride.)
Meeting Darth Vader was thrilling. Butter would say her favorite "character" to meet including Mickey and the princesses! Although she still clings to the "His name is Anakin!". The hope is strong in her!

The kids were lucky enough to make the cut for Jedi training, where they learn to use the Force and practice using a lightsaber.

Then they are surprised by the Dark Lord Vader, and he tries to sway the young padiwans to the dark side. (It was rather comical watching a little girl in pig-tails approach him and he responding to her "I don't know what to be more afraid of your lightsaber skills or those little whips on your head.")

That is Roo(gray shoes, hood up) and Butter(ponytail) standing right next to the instructor

Since it was Star Wars weekend, it was not just Darth Vadar the padiwans would fight, our kiddos group had Darth Maul. He was so scary my poor boy was crying when he realized his group would have to "fight" Darth Maul instead of Vadar. I have to admit the guy was creepy.

I did not get any still pictures of Butter fighting him, I used video mode instead. She was hesitant, but listened to her instructor and did her best. They tried to coax Roo into trying; telling him Maul wouldn't hurt him, but he could not get past the make-up and horns. Sweet boy.

Then with a final standing the padiwans defeat the dark side!

Butter is one the left with her blue lightsabar up, and Roo is next to the instructor in the green shirt.

It was so much fun seeing all the characters from the movies walking around, it was even nicer to go into the air conditioning to see others.

R2D2 and C3PO were inside, but the line ended outside and in full sun. Nope, I snuck up to the front and snapped some pictures! We enjoyed the air conditioning a bit longer while Roo picked his "Treat".

Both kids got a gift card to spend in Disney. Butter of course spent hers the first day, buying a baby Minnie stuffed toy. I kept telling Roo, WAIT. Just wait until Sunday, when we go to Star Wars day, I promise you will find something there. It was very hard for him to wait. But it paid off big for him. He found a Jedi Mickey stuffed toy AND had money left for a R2D2 action figure! Butter was a bit upset, I gently reminded her that I had said the same thing to her: Wait, just wait, look around, you might see something better. We can always find (the baby Minnie). She did not want to wait. So she had to deal with disappointment. In the end she decided she liked her Minnie best, and once the actual buying was done there was no disappointment for her. IT was even better after they finished Jedi training and each got another action figure! Butter got Padme' Amidala and Roo got Obi Won.

We did wait to meet Storm trooper Donald and see Jedi Mickey and R2MK.

As we were walking to our next thing, we saw an Ewok. We chose not to stand in line, and I quickly snapped a picture. Man, I can't believe what it was like in that suit! I was in a tank top and sweating!

We saw Queen Amidala too while waiting in line for Jedi Training and as soon as we finished that we headed back to the resort and camped out at the pool for 3hours!
Aside from it being Star Wars weekend, I would have to say that Hollywood Studios was my not all it was cracked up to be. A LOT of time was spent waiting in lines to meet characters. Buzz Lightyear was NOT where he was suppose to be, so we ended up in that line twice! and we completely missed all shows, because it was either at the other end of the park we had just finished up at or we were in line for something and it was almost our turn and we didn't have time to get in line for the show. We only stayed at the park until 5pm which most shows stopped for the day after 5pm and it was hot!
We reached our goal, which was get the kids into Jedi training, go on the Star wars ride and meet Buzz and Woody. We did all that and mat a few awesome others. Maybe next time we'll see a show.

May's end.

2011-05-31T12:36:00.001-05:00

Today I was planning on posting more about Disney. Share more pictures more stories...
But instead I was woken up this morning by my sweet husband with a gentle kiss.
Scared me half to death. We had plans to go look at a rental today, one I was excited about, because maybe just maybe after three months of looking at "No Ways!" this one looked like a good possibility.
I was expecting him to come home around 9:30am, it was only 7:30. I sat up and said "Your early."
He looked down at me and said "They fired me."
It was something I never thought would happen, not in a conceded arrogant kind of way. Rob is the only one who does what he does at his office. He's the tech guy, he estimates and puts together the bids, he solves material issues, he purchases the material for the jobs. Since last fall Metro has been "changing" Rob's former bosses (one being his Uncle) sold the company to the "Sale's guy" and the "Field Sup. Guy". Neither one knows exactly how important Rob is to their jobs. If Rob isn't there they can't get very far in their work. The "sales guy" brings in jobs, Rob bids them trying to come in low enough to win the job, high enough to make money on it. The job is awarded and "Field Sup guy" supervises the installation...
It smelt fishy right before we left, They asked Rob to teach Meg how to input bids into the system. He told them it isn't about punching numbers into a program. Last week was a short week, He went back to work Thursday and Friday. He returned today only to be asked to leave.
Bitter doesn't even begin to describe my heart. This man is LOYAL, TRUSTWORTHY, HARD-WORKING. It's like watching someone try to drive a car without a steering wheel or tires or brakes. They may not look like much, or be the shiny part of the car, but the car don't work without it.
Alright then.
After nineteen and half years, they part ways in a cold impersonal "We're letting you go..."

The timing couldn't have been better. (sarcasm)
Is there ever a good time to get kicked in the nuts?

This morning we were going to look at a rental that I found last Friday. I was excited about this one, until today. Today we find ourselves without verifiable income.

My head can not grasp what God's plans are from here.

My heart is struggling to keep faith, swallow back tears and keep moving even when I have know idea which direction I am suppose to be going right now.

It feels unreal. I feel like I'm walking in molasses and everybody is talking like Charlie Brown's teacher..."Wa wa wa wa wawawa."

If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me.~ Psalm 139:9-10

I will never stop reminding myself that God is the constant in my life that he is enough. No matter where I have to go, even across the "farthest oceans," God's hand will guide this family and give us strength for the tasks ahead.

Briefly

2011-05-26T15:18:00.000-05:00

I am going to briefly talk about our trip. I will share pictures and details a bit later. For now this is what I will share.
We had such a fabulous time at Disney, I mean there were signs the moment we got to the airport that this trip was meant to happen for us. The resort I chose was called the Swan & Dolphin resort it came highly recommended. While waiting for our plane we met our pilot who had a sense of humor about his serious job. He pointed out that we were flying on a "new" plane. The first in a new fleet that had special paint jobs. Do you know what our plane had painted on it?
A Dolphin.
Every other plane we saw had the old paint job, our plane was a dolphin, that, my friends is not a random chance.
Or when we checked in at the resort and were given our room # that just happened to be the same as our home address.
Yes, God was telling us "You are home. For 7 days this is your home, do not worry about where home will be for now it is here."

The mornings I was wide awake ready for our next adventure, ready to take on the Florida heat and sunshine. I hate heat, I worry if my SPF is high enough, caked enough to hold back melanoma...
Mornings and I definitely don't mix well. But this was different, I never had a lick of coffee. I was the last to fall asleep each night and the first bunny up and ready to go.
I was at peace. The things I worried about were my feet, and how long it would take outside for the kids to ask "When can we go to the pool?"
The dogs "barked" at the end of each day,that happily ended with a very hot foot soak.
I never once had to use my Pepto. Everyday I found it swift and easy to "drop the kids off at the pool."
(If you need that explained, I'll email you.) It became our secret talk.
"Have you dropped your kids off at the pool? You don't want those stinkers hanging around..."
(I'm smiling, thinking how this all sounds from the other side of the keyboard...)
The weather was out standing. Sun shine every single day.
Towards the end of the trip the heat really kicked in, at our last day at a park I felt myself draining, it was around 11am, I felt woozy, tired, cranky, head ache and ready to cry. Thankfully everyone wanted to be done and go to the pool. I drank so much water, it went straight from my throat to the outside of my skin. Nordic blood doesn't handle that heat so well, I felt curdled.
Disney was a magical place, we got to see it as a family.
For just a brief time we relaxed, enjoyed each other and most importantly, cared of nothing but having fun. That was exactly what we needed.
I promise pictures and stories are coming...

It's time.

2011-05-17T12:02:00.000-05:00

The bags are packed, we've mapped it out

We're so excited we could shout!

A certain mouse is waiting

We've been anticipating.

Princess, Castles, magic places

Countries in the World showcases

Buzz and Woody, Lightening, Mater

Jedi Training to fight Darth Vader!

Roller coasters and stunt shows

Hurry up it's time to go...

M I C

See you real soon.

K E Y

Why, because we need a little fun.

M O U S E!

Ruth's Daily Journal.

2011-05-11T13:10:00.002-05:00

It was Easter that we sat around the Cox living room reading through G'ma Ruth Cox's journals.

This women was the heart and soul of the Cox family. The year I met my husband she was diagnosed with colon cancer, that eventually spread to her liver.

In November of 2001, we celebrated her 80th birthday. All 5 of her children, 12 grandchildren and 3 great-grandchildren; which today is at 11 and counting... (that's Rob and I in the white shirts)

Ruth kept a daily journal. It wasn't one of those diary kinds that you poured out your soul to. It was a calender kind. You wrote a few sentences for that particular date.

Ruth wrote everything down.

What I mean when I say everything, I mean the things we over look to be normal, mundane even.

The weather, who she saw that day, who came for dinner, the baby-sitting she did.

Let me tell you, it was far from boring.

Every page was like a treasure, who would be mentioned as her days highlights?

One particular post : Rob stopped by today for a chat. He told me about his new job. He brought Sue with, so good to see her again, she is a nice girl. I am so happy for him.

The job: The one he still has today. The girl, was his college sweetheart. They broke up because of long-distance. everything was genuine for her.

Another post: Babysat for Ryan and Ellie today. They bring such joy to my day. So full of energy, they keep me young.

Katie came today and cooked a nice meal for me, she is such a wonderful cook.

Tonya came and took me shopping, I needed some new Keds.

G'ma Ruth wore Keds! and she liked them white!

She wrote about everything! It wasn't just her daily life; it was a glimpse into her soul.

These were the things that mattered to her.

We only had three years worth of journals, and hungered for the others that were spilt amongst the 5 of them. I can't wait to trade!

It's like getting a second chance to know her.

We weren't sure if Ruth would be able to make it to our wedding, which was in December of 2001. By that time they had started aggressively treating her.

Not only did she make it, she looked incredible. I didn't know then how much this photo would mean to me today.

Or this one.

The writing on the side says:

"This is the only picture we have of Nina with G'ma Ruth...It makes it all the more precious."

Just after this her health declined, we didn't get to see much of her, we should have tried harder, but it felt like everyone wanted a piece of her, if she wasn't busy, she was resting, if she wasn't resting, she was in and out of the hospital.

The truth is, I don't remember Ruth passing, I don't remember the funeral service much. I remember comforting my husband after his speech, but the memory that sticks out is: At the cemetery, after all has been said...you can see just beyond the hill the trucks waiting for family to leave so they can put the body in the ground. Do their job, go home.

It was January.

The sun peaking through the heavy winter clouds.

You could see every one's breath linger in the air.

It was cold.

No one wanted to leave.

Heavy dark wool coats, dark leather gloves, the only color coming from the scarfs some people wore and the flowers...

Our feet betraying us, this is not the place for dress shoes. Snow covered the ground, but had been removed just enough for a walkway.

It was like a stand-off, who could endure the longest.

Slowly people began to go back to their cars, giving in to the cold, the finality.

I stood there, looking at the flowers that covered her casket, Rob's hand in mine.

I could feel him, ready to depart.

I could not stop staring at the flowers, so beautiful in all the gray cold.

I let go of his hand, reached out and plucked a flower out of the arrangement.

I worried that if one of them saw me they'd be angry...I glanced to the cars, nobody was looking they were busy getting into the cars.

I held it tightly in my hand, felt it's fragile petals against my palm. I gave a final prayer, a goodbye kiss.

I don't know why I did that back then, it seemed odd to me, but looking back on it, having read some of her journals; I realize that even then I knew what kind of woman she was.

She loved her family, her friends and she loved her Jesus.

Death wasn't something she feared, because she lived.

She lived and found joy in everyday.

Her journals tell us so. My pause wasn't a wanting her to stay, it was a making a remembrance; Of who this woman was and how she lived and loved.

I have started my own journal. Not here in cyberspace, but on paper. There is something cathartic about taking pen to paper, seeing the handwritten thoughts.

I would encourage you to pick someone in your life, write them a short note. WRITE it, don't email it, text it, facebook message it.

Write it, in your own precious handwriting.

Trust me, in this day and age, it will mean so much more to the one receiving it.

May-be.

2011-05-03T11:11:00.000-05:00

May be the month that a new job comes Rob's way.
May be the month we find the house that was meant just for us.
May be the month this family strengthens it's bonds and clings to it's faith.
May be the month when the dark clouds part.

We are three days into the month of May, I am praying for a rebirth for our family.
April showers bring May flowers...
We could really use some blooming.

NOT.IT

2011-04-28T11:42:00.001-05:00

I flit from researching, organizing tips, and planning days for Disney; to scouring want adds for rentals.
One makes me happy, giddy; the other not.so.much.
Yesterday we had a showing at a rental. This rental wasn't anything special, wasn't even in the "right" district. (We are trying to stay in our current school district) If not the district at least the same city, so I can drive them to their school on open enrollment. (Gulp, for 2-5yrs)
So this house, When we arrived the guy was hauling out of his trunk a vacuum.
Huh, interesting...
The moment I walk in I notice the kitchen, then I notice there are no appliances and the cupboards are like half open half closed, there's an inch of dust or something on the floor and he's rapidly trying to clean it up.
Next thing I notice is the ~~blinding~~ bold wall color on the front wall. It is a dark denim blue, lets say blueberry. I turn back toward the kitchen and notice that wall. It is the color of pea soup. The green pea not the yellow pea, but that's coming...
Hmmm, interesting...this is going to suck re-painting...
We head down the stairs. It's a walk out. This family room has half laminate floor and half carpet. Stained carpet. And when I say half I am talking straight down the middle of the room half, like somebody had a fight and they chose sides. We entered the mechanical room and there was paint cans galore, and then I noticed the drain, it was full of nasty. (Nasty was all I could make out, I didn't look too closely at it.)
We went upstairs, into the living room.
WOW! I should have brought my sunglasses in here.
Again two different colors on the walls.
One, you guessed it, mustard-dingy yellow. The other color was pomegranate. Awful.
As I was turning to go down the hallway to the bedrooms, the guy says "Do you have any questions?"
Just one: "We could repaint in here right? Like a neutral color?"
"Well, no. My wife is the painter and we don't want to have to repaint after you were to leave."
I'm sorry what did he say?
"Really? Wow, so these colors are staying?"
"Yes."
I walked down the hall, Rob was waiting for me.
"Look at this one." He said leading me to a bedroom.
This one was painted sky blue. Like the kind you see on a super sunny day, blinding and on the ceiling and halfway down the walls were clouds. My face must have said it all because he said;
"What you don't like the blue sky room?"
"Lets go. I don't need to see anymore."
We weren't there more then 5 minutes. I didn't even ask about where the appliances were.
The rent on the fruit bowl/sky room house $1600/month.
You would have to pay ME to live in a fruit bowl.
Not it.
NOT.IT.
I flit from rentals to houses for sale. There are some really nice homes in short sale right now. Each one I look at I pray for the family that is going through it, just like us.
Rob and my goal was to find a rental, a nice house in a great neighborhood that we could rent long term and once our credit is repaired buy the rental. That is proving to be extremely difficult, since there are no rentals in our price range that we have even considered renting, let alone buying afterward.
There have been a few homes that were just priced a bit higher then we could be comfortable with, but they were homes we could see our selves buying in the end.
You can't afford what you can't afford. Right this minute, it's not affordable.
Rob is pursuing other job opportunities, and if one of them happen that would make all the difference in what would then be affordable. It is crazy that it is a matter of a few hundred dollars.
Blows my human mind.

Yesterday I moved some money around and bought our Magic Your Way tickets for Disney. It felt awesome. This family is going to the happiest place on earth while God figures out the future for this family. I have to chuckle and say NOT.IT. Because I have no control in this situation. I can't provide a job for my husband, a house to magically appear ready and perfect and within our budget. All I can do is pack. Pack for the trip and pack for the move, which I'm not starting until we get back.
So I call NOT.IT

Easter reflection.

2011-04-25T16:29:00.000-05:00

Easter is the time of year that I reflect on the power of love.

The Love the Father has for us. The sacrifice of His love. The pain His loving heart endured for sin.

His love conquered sin.

We went to church on Saturday. Though it seems odd to go to church on Saturday, especially on Easter. It is just the day we go, it's convenient, it's less crowded especially on Easter.

The beginning of the service had both me and Rob choked up, I looked over at him and said "I won't be able to make it through this one if Pastor's "on"."

Our Pastor is a gifted man, and his messages MOVE people.

It was a wonderful, light-hearted, to the point message.

A well balance between the powerful, soul stirring, tear-jerking worship portion.

Sunday morning came and I found myself thinking:

He is not here...he has risen.

I opened the shade and it was the most beautiful sunshine day!

That does not happen up here very often.

The kids were dressed in their Easter outfits and READY to hunt some eggs.

I wanted to get one picture before sending them out...Just one before grass stains and hair tussles.

Do you think it was quick and easy?

"Mom! This hurts my eyes! It's too bright."

"Roo! You are in the house! Put your hand down and smile."

"It HURTS! Can't we just go out and look for the eggs?"

"No. Not until I get one picture. A GOOD one. Now put your hand down!" ~ Me

"ROO! Just put your hand down!" ~Butter

"Butter, you just keep smiling, let me worry about him. Roo, I'm serious, I WILL wait here ALL DAY."~ ME

"MOM! I'm trying! It's too bright!"

"Roo, seriously, knock it off. It is sunnier OUTside. Your butt is going to hurt soon if you don't cooperate." ~Me (yes, I do threaten the spoon for noncooperation. Don't judge me. ;)

FINALLY!

(Take that parenting to the bank! The spoon is magic. LOL)

Just like I predicted grass and dirt stains, along with buckets full of eggs, that he consumed every ounce of chocolate.

It was time to head over to Nana and Papa's for dinner.

This picture took about four tries too. He is such a little stinker sometimes.

See that red face, that's from soaking up the sunshine. Oh man did that feel so good!

I'm Just...

2011-04-19T11:23:00.000-05:00

I'm Just;

waiting...
Faithfully watching for rentals.
Clinging to the promise of His provision.
continuously praying for this family.
Spent. Exhausted. Defeated.
HOPEFUL.
TRUSTING.
JOYFUL, that there is: A time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to tear down and a time to build up, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them up, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away. (Ecclesiastes 3:2b,3b,5a,6)

I've searched, I've gathered up, I've thrown away, I've been torn down.

The time has come to uproot, give up and scatter stones.

In order for the time to come for planting, keeping and building up.

Amen?

I apologize for not frequently posting on the blog; or Facebook for that matter.

I feel like I need focus, I am battling thoughts like no other time in my life and I am trying to stay in the moment and when that moment means hitting my knees and praying; I DO IT, because that is the only thing getting me through right now.

If I look up, all I see is bleak, impossible.

If I bow my head and continue to pray that light comes from within and the HOPE circles around me; the impossible starts to feel possible, and this, drawing near to Him, that is all I can do for now.

I'm just DRAWING NEAR TO MY JESUS.

Blue Bear

2011-04-11T19:05:00.000-05:00

I haven't been posting much, not much has changed. That doesn't mean I don't have things to say, it just means I'd be saying the same things.

today however was different. Sin was brought smack dab into our home by this little guy.

Blue Bear.

Over the weekend we did some errands, one of them to Children's Place, where I got ~~suckered into~~ rationalized buying a couple pair of shorts for Butter.

So we we're trying things on and I was saying "NO." umpteen times to Roo and his "Can I haves..."

Rob was being Rob. Which is; in a store with there music way too loud to hear anything over shouting, oodles of people wanting the exact same size clearance item as you and whining kids galore; he was standing patiently in a corner.

Left the store, fast forward today.

I was looking at the hook my daughter's bag sits on thinking "Huh, that looks like it's about to fall down."

I took the bag off, "What in the world was in this bag! It weighs a ton!"

Lo and behold stuffed in the pocket of her jacket, stuffed inside of her backpack was this blue bear.

Huh, I don't remember seeing this before...

I notice how pristine it looks, then I notice the tag still attached to it. Children's Place.

Rob is standing next to me asking "What's that? Where'd that come from?"

He can see by the look on my face this is not going to be good...

Butter tells us, with red cheeks and darting eyes she got it in the lost and found at school.

Wow can this kid make up a story! Clever.

I look her in the eye and say "You better go back into that room and think about what you are going to tell us when I ask you again."

To be sure I hit the CP website. Sure enough the bear is on clearance and those clearance bins were right by the fitting rooms where she had the opportunity to sneak one.

I gave her 10 minutes, when I went to get her she was sitting on her bed, wringing her hands.

She came clean and told us she stole it. Rob didn't want to hear it, but I encouraged her to describe how and when she did it. I told her we were going back to the store and she would tell them what she did, Rob added that she would have to pay for the item.

I called the store in advance, let them know we were coming in and what had taken place.

This is where I got irritated.

The manager of the store actually laughed when I told her.

NO, she literally thought it was funny.

(I'm not sure at which part: Where I, the parent call in and admit to it or that a 8 year old girl stole something.)

Either way I was unnerved by her reaction. I was trying to teach my child a lesson here and this person thought it was a joke?

Once we got to the store, this girl grinned from ear to ear. Smiling the whole time my daughter shamefully admitted to stealing.

I looked at her and said "Would you please tell my daughter how serious this is and what happens to people when they steal?"

Seriously, If Butter was double her age she'd be sitting in the back of a squad car.

I'm not sure the clerk did anything to deter my child from stealing. All I can hope for is that the shame of going back to the scene of the crime and our disappointment are enough.

She is missing a birthday sleepover this weekend and had to pay for blue bear with money that was suppose to be for spending at Disney.

It is hard to believe this stupid little bear would cause such sin in this sweet girl.

But we all do it, we all sin and today this little blue bear represents it for Butter. Stealing and lying about it. Tonight in devotion we will be talking about forgivenss, right after I go bury this little guy on a deep little pit!

Being fed.

2011-03-31T09:20:00.000-05:00

I was up early today. And when I say early most all of you would groan at me because technically you were all up way before then....
So what did I do with my time?
Commented on Facebook.
I have been lacking the wit over there.
Not wanting to say much more then "like".
Either someone said what I would say or I was too lazy to come up with something.
I haven't been right in my head lately.
Haven't been myself.
I can't really, I am too busy Trusting God.
The second my focus comes off His timing and plans and Love that's when the flurry of deceit comes in.
We spent the last couple days haggling over a closing date on an offer for the house.
Each time we gave a date, they moved it up closer.
No kidding.
Until finally they said we need to put in writing that they'd get the house a week after the bank approved the offer. There is no guarantee the bank will approve the offer but what if the bank does? and what if it happens in mid-May? We'd have to be out while we are in Disney? right after coming home from Disney? Before the end of the school year?
Oh ho ho, these people have really poked the bear.
I just can't figure out how two people can be so irrational.

So it was left, undecided. We won't commit and they won't re-write the offer.
We have a showing tonight with another couple.
Lets lift up some prayers shall we?
Heavenly Father, Please let our house be appealing to this couple coming tonight. May they feel like they've found home and give a good offer with a decent closing date,
In your Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

I have been reading our Pastor's new book. I posted about it a few posts ago. It is stellar. I haven't put the highlighter down and little nuggets stay with me, that I'll randomly throw out in conversations with my husband. To which he looks at me amazed and I have to confess "Pastor Bob." He nods in the "I kinda figured" sort of way.

So Pastor is talking about Moses and how Moses didn't want to do what God was asking.
He felt he wasn't anything special, that there were plenty of others more talented to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. But God convinces him, He thinks "oh yeah God's gonna make this easy."
And guess what? The Pharaoh says: "No way."
Okay now what? What's with the hurdles? What's with this being hard?
Um cause if it was easy what would you learn?
We gain strength through enduring. The trials are what make us more dependent on God. So when the next task comes along instead of saying Heck no I won't go...We remember that with God we are capable. Our faith grows.
It totally makes sense reading, but applying it, oofda!
Lets talk about our family devotion last night, it was about trusting God.
All around me I'm being fed His promises, His wisdom.

Last night my Husband got a call from a friend of the family's. It brought me to tears what that conversation was about. When I think about it I clearly see that this is a God thing. A generous offer to help. Something deep inside me breaks, because I have very deep wounds from my own family and their selfishness, broken promises; and here is a man who knows us casually and said "I want you to think of us as family. We are here for you."

I ask that if you have read this post today, please pray for our family. That the perfect home will come into view for us. Thank you.

Happy Thursday!

Some things never Change or My birthday post!

2011-03-29T09:24:00.000-05:00

I woke up this morning completely oblivious to what day it was. I got up, shuffled to the kitchen to make my morning cup of coffee. The kids greeted me as usual with descriptions of the art work they quietly made while I was still hibernating in my room with cozy blankets and snoring pets.

Nina said something about not being dressed pretty, and I ignored it, because I'm used to her pairing skin tight leggings with shirts that are defiantly not long enough to cover those skin tight leggings. Maybe I'm a wee bit old fashion, but I'm not found of the leggings. I know they rock the comfort scale, but they should really be paired with a dress. I took a few ~~hits~~ sips of coffee and suddenly it dawned on me. It's my birthday!

My 37th to be exact. Which is a little scary and thrilling all at the same time.

And I've realized some things haven't changed.

This is me on my first birthday. I have this exact smile on today!

I was a good mommy, kept my babes clean and fed and never took any lip or they faced a good scolding and a time out. What has changed is I no longed throw the babies. Ahem, good thing I learned that! (another thing you can't hear, is I am actually "yelling" at my sister to give me back the bottle it's my baby! and right after this pic was taken I took the baby and threw it down because she wouldn't let me feed it.) I'm still protective of my "babies."

I love music and can get lost in the moment of a song.

I love picnics on sunny afternoons with those I love and no bugs.

I've posted this photo before, and it's still relevant, I am not a morning person.

My best friend is the boy I wanted to marry. I married my best friend. (This is Nick P. I was going to marry him, we had it all planned, then they went and moved. This began my long 23 year search my a new best friend to marry...) I should try to find him on facebook, I would if he has a daughter named Sara?

Oh, this picture makes me LAUGH! I love to talk on the phone, and not the cell phone, it drives me crazy when the call drops! I was such a lady even back then, legs crossed, sipping my coke talking about Strawberry shortcake and Nick P.

We celebrated on Saturday at Osaka. It was a lot of fun.

Maybe a little too much... I did after all have a few of these.

MMM, something pink and fruity!

Psalm 42:9-11

2011-03-28T20:42:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I ask God, my rock-solid God,
"Why did you let me down? Why am I walking around in tears, harassed by enemies?"
They're out for the kill, these tormentors with their obscenities, Taunting day after day,
"Where is this God of yours?"
Why are you down in the dumps, dear soul?
Why are you crying the blues?
Fix my eyes on God soon I'll be praising again.
He puts a smile on my face.
He's my God

What's giving me strength today.

Keeping the leaves Green.

2011-03-25T11:42:00.000-05:00

The title of this post might have you thinking it's gonna be about spring.
This is where I tell you we just got hammered with more snow.
It many people I know crazy. Including my husband.
The title refers to a verse I post at the end.

What a difference a day makes.
My last posting I had said how I didn't have any news.
Yesterday it felt like all hell broke loose in one day.
I posted on facebook that morning.
"It's a new day. Bring it."
That was dumb, because it opened up a whole kind of nasty.
Attacks from the enemy.
Awful stuff.
I'm not sure how much I've ever talked about the "bullying" I endured from my sister and her friends.
It's not something I like to dwell on.
As my mother so "kindly" pointed out yesterday "...have a hard time letting things go..."
In some cases this is true: I have grown into forgiving, but I do not forget, especially when it comes to abuse and not allowing it to continue.
I found out that my sister is dating a guy she had dated back in high school. A guy that torture and abused me.
Without getting into details, I was brought right back to that place of being 12 and helpless, alone, nobody standing up for me...
It's not that I haven't let it go, it's just that I hadn't expected to be back in a place where I was confronted with it again.
I don't think that is called "not letting it go."
She also commented about the game "telephone" where one person tells a story to another and another and pretty soon the story is nothing like it started out being.

Was she saying that this was like a game of telephone? That I was changing things about what happened to what? Make this person look bad?
Why would someone (me) make up that kind of pain?

That just doesn't happen. NOBODY imagines being abused. NOBODY imagines those things, works hard at putting those things be hide her and forgives for them happening and goes on to build a trusting marriage.
That certainly doesn't mean she wants to see her abuser again or have them forced into her life again.
Moving on. (I am guarding my tongue.)

We got an offer on the house.
It was incredibly ridiculous, almost to the point of "stealing"; it was so low.
To add insult to injury, they added a whole page of stipulations and demands, like getting the house at the asking price wasn't ENOUGH of a deal.
I know it was the enemy working.
We rejected the offer, didn't even consider counter-offering.

We found out there is more interest and many showings coming up this weekend. God is looking out for us. He has worked it so that these people that made the "offer" have a showing at the same time as another couple who are coming back for a second showing.
I love me some of THOSE apples ;)

Rob and I looked at a home in a city close by. It would be a change in school district for our kids. They are still young enough for this to be okay. But what is nagging me is it's further away from our church.
It also is on the high side of what we could afford.
I keep thinking, and maybe I'm wrong here, but I keep thinking God is going to let me know when it's the one. But what if I'm not listening? what if I'm being stubborn and miss it? What if I want it this way and am not considering it His way? I so do not want to be difficult and stubborn in this, and yet my personality, what got me through those tough years is also a hard nosed toughie who will stand firm on her beliefs. The difference between then and now is I know Christ I have placed my faith in him.
Sitting and waiting. Sitting and waiting, it's like poking a bear with a stick. The enemy loves that.
All I can do is pray; trust who he's been transforming me into.
His will.
His timing.

Yesterday a dear friend stopped over and saw the worst of me. I'm a wreck and she got an up close and personal viewing of that.
I am embarrassed. I should be able to hold it together better.

Man, was the enemy working hard yesterday.

Blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence. They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by the long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they go right on producing delicious fruit. ~Jeremiah 17:7-8

I going to dig my roots in and drink from the living well, keep these leaves GREEN.

What's new.

2011-03-23T13:15:00.000-05:00

I haven't got anything new to add.
No news.
Which, I don't know, is it a good thing?
We got snow last night and all day today.
Oh joy.
It covers the poop right?
Nah, I was just out there two days ago, and since my dog hasn't wanted to brave the out doors in two days...
I'm bored.
There are things I could be doing:
Packing.
Organizing.
Cleaning.

Not one of those things is even tempting.

My birthday is less then a week away.
We are going out to this hibachi place called Osaka. MMMMMM. Can't wait.
I turn 37 this year.
Oi!
I can only hope that my forties will be GREAT!
Cause my twenties were a growing period, of finding out who I was and who I didn't want to be.
And my thirties were a lot like my twenties minus the wrong choices in boyfriends, wrong choices and adding babies and finding out who I am as a mother.
I wish we could stop counting years and start counting experiences.
If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't LIVED.
If you don't find funky new "growths" on your body, you haven't add enough adventure!
If you don't know who the Righteous Brothers are...
You've never been in love and lost that loving feeling.

I got things on my mind, that I just don't feel like giving a chance to be thought about.
Does that make sense?
The pastor at our church came out with a book this past weekend.
It is fantastic.
He is a gifted teacher, and funny sinner. He talks about his failures a lot, and in his failures I see a real man, struggling just as we all struggle and just because he's a pastor, doesn't mean he's above sinning.
(which is a terrible misconception I have. In my mind I think, well they have a direct line to the big man, of course they have super strength.) Boo on me for thinking that.
Anyways he cracks me up. In the second chapter he tells how he out right lies. Really? Pastor?

All for fishing. Now I don't understand why someone would be so enthusiastic about fishing, but this guy is and he's got fish tales to tell.

His wisdom and understanding of the bible draw me in. I want to grab a cup of coffee and cozy up and listen to every word he has to say. If you'd like to see Bob at his best, check out the online messages here. If you'd like to read Bob's new book, find it here.

Holding it together.

2011-03-19T14:43:00.000-05:00

Navigating through this glop challenges me every.single.day.
We get a lead on a house and our calls go unanswered, or we finally see the place and let's just say a magician took the pictures. Or we booked for a showing with three other couples and feel like it's cattle call for renters.
Or, and this is the worst, we find out that the rental in question is a scam.
I've had a couple of these already, and thankfully God gives me a gut check every time one of these things comes up.
Friends who have talked to me say "You seem to be handling this well."
What other choice do I have? I have kids that are counting on me. They don't understand this.
I am afraid that we may be breaking a promise made to them to "try and stay in the school district." But the problem with that is, then which ever district we DO move into it will be the one the kids are in for the rest of their schooling. We do not want to change after this move.
As the days go on I am surprised but how one person can be so ill equipped at giving encouragement and then someone else can be unbelievably generous and only a friend of the family.
It's crazy.
I've seen the absolute best of some people and the absolute "truth" of others. Which makes me sad, not for me but for them. I think: "You are wasting this opportunity. You are choosing self over salvation."
Do I blindly think God will make this all work out and I have nothing to do but twiddle my thumbs and wait?
Absolutely not!
I am doing my best to follow promptings, keep my eyes focused on Him and continue on like the storm isn't raging outside.
I cried last night, prayed and when my husband came in and sat next to me. He asked if I was okay.
I said "I held it together long enough for today."
He said "For today? You've been holding it together since the beginning of this."
Yesterday was one of the more difficult days. We had a few showings and we both had hopes for them.
Both turned out to be a bust.
It is frustrating to then go home and face your children. When they ask you "Did you find a new house?"
All I can do is sigh and say "Not this time."
When inside I'm screaming "Lord, PLEASE. I can not do this! I could handle this if I just knew we had a place to go. A place we can afford, that will be perfect for this family!"
Instead I smile, biting my lip so the tears don't fall and say "Not this time. We'll find something."
Tomorrow we are having dinner with my family, it will defiantly be a test for me. They are extremely judgmental and critical. I am trying to strengthen my armor, because I am sure that the enemy is sharpening his spears for tomorrow.

Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. This I declare of the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I am trusting him. For he will rescue you from every trap and protect you from from the fatal plague. He will shield you with his wings. He will shelter you with his feathers. His faithful promises are your armor and protection.~Psalm 91:1-4

Spring Break begins.

2011-03-16T10:52:00.000-05:00

Today begins the "real" spring break for us.
Granted the kids were off school since last Friday, but today starts my husbands time off.
(Whoopee! Happy dance!)
Last night we stayed up late, okay we kept the kids up late and watched Secretariat. It was a great movie.
I love horse racing, Butter loves horses, Roo loves popcorn, and Rob loves when he can sit on the couch and fall asleep. Everyone was happy.
I love waking up with my husband next to me. That wasn't the case when he was doing the paper route or when he works. He is up before the roosters.
To top my morning off he made breakfast.
No grape nuts for me today, the consequences to that might be felt later in the day.
Moving on.
The remainder of the week will be a hodge-podge of playdates and birthday parties.
My mind is clear today and I am soaking in the fact that God loves me and He is working on the storm that is raging outside my door this very minute, but right now I am taking shelter in what is GOOD.
My family.
Our health.
This time together.
His Love and Promise.

I will be your God throughout your lifetime-until your hair is white with age. I made you, and I will care for you. I will carry you along and save you.~ Isaiah 46:4

I am leaving you with a gift-peace of mind and heart.~ John 14:27

Cheapskates and dance therapy.

2011-03-15T11:27:00.000-05:00

Hmpf!
It drives me crazy, well many things do, but specifically in this moment it would be cheapskates.
Or maybe I should call them greedy buggers.
Scrooges.
"What's it worth to ya?"
Haven't you heard that giving generously and not asking for something in return is a lesson Jesus taught?
Build up your riches, not for this life but for the next...
But then again, when Jesus doesn't live in your heart; kinda hard to hear the Teacher speak.

What do you do when you are stuck waiting in the hallway?
You know when one door closes...
Waiting for the next door or even the window to open.
I am so ready to put on some gloves and pummel a pair of cheapskates that think walking on a loyal man is good business.
"I'd rather see you work longer here then have a second job."
Well of course you would, you'd still be paying the same wages for longer hours.

Patience.
Got to work on my patience.
And if you hadn't guessed, there is a locked down on my mouth too. It's a good thing my brain needs to think about which letters I'm typing because if it was on instinct this post would have a parental warning on it!

*deep breath*
I am going to go take this out on Wii Just dance.
Who wants a piece of me?

Today.

2011-03-13T19:06:00.000-05:00

Today we went and look at a rental house.
Not a townhome.
Not an apartment.
Not a rinky-dink rambler smaller then the house we owned before we had two children.
A house.
In a nice neighborhood, in the same school district.
Wheels are in motion to see if this will work for us, for them...
Please pray for our family.

If you already have something, you don't need to hope for it. But if we look forward to something we don't have yet, we must wait patiently and confidently. ~ Romans 8:24-25

This is what the Lord Almighty says: All this may seem impossible to you now, a small and discouraged remnant of God's people. But do you think this is impossible for me, the Lord Almighty? ~Zechariah 8:6

Now Glory be to God! By his mighty power at work within us, he is able to accomplish infinitely more than we would ever dare to ask or hope.~ Ephesians 3:20

Making friends with my problems.

2011-03-11T13:59:00.000-06:00

I've gone back and forth between crying and being strong,faithful.
Still no desire to pack...but I'm not worried. If I pack I won't know where stuff is, what stuff we want to take what stuff we want to get rid off. Nothing that we use is getting packed yet.
I was told to take down our pictures.
NO.
The house is still our home until July.
The pictures of our family, of our life STAY. Until July.
I've been vigilant with doing devotions, both with the family and on my own through out the day. Reading your sweet emails and messages.
All giving me just the right dose of encouragement right when I need it, in the very way my heart can handle it.
Can I share some of it with you?

Good morning Sara! Remember we were talking about crisis mode? Just doing the next thing . . . etc. In my devotion today it talked about crisis which comes from the Greek word that means decision or judgment. A crisis of belief is not a calamity in your life but a turning point where you must make a decision. You must decide what you truly believe about God. The way you respond at this turning point will determine whether you become involved with God in something God-sized that only He can do or whether you will continue to go your own way and miss what He has purposed for your life. The way you live your life is a testimony of what you believe about God. Wow! Isn't that awesome.

Sending my love and a big hug to you today! Ju

Beth Moore devotion:
We would not trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead.~ 2 Corinthians 1:9

The level of trust we have for God is a monumental issue in the life of every believer. Many variables in our lives affect our willingness to trust God. A loss or betrayal can deeply mark our level of trust. A broken heart never mended can handicap us terribly when challenged to trust. Trusting an invisible God doesn't come naturally to any of us.
Our trust relationship with Him grows only when we step out in faith and make the choice to trust. The ability to believe God develops most often through pure experience. "I found Him faithful yesterday. He will not be unfaithful today."

Jesus Calling 365 Devotions for kids.:

Make Friends with your problems.
And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. ~ Romans 8:28

Make friends with the problems you have in your life. Yes, that's right. And don't forget to thank Me for them either. That sounds crazy, doesn't it? But I can use every single problem to teach you something. Just as a sculptor chisels away bits of rough stone to reveal a masterpiece, I can use your problems to chip away rough bits of stubbornness,pride and selfishness, to reveal My masterpiece-you!
It's your choice. you can keep your problems all to yourself, so that they grow and become stumbling blocks that trip you up. Or you can make friends with your problems by introducing them to Me and letting Me make them part of My plan. I may not take your problems away, but I will make something good come out of them.

Each day brings a new set of feelings. Each day is a new day to CHOOSE where my thoughts will go.
I want to come out of this a polished stone. I want God to use this time to chisel away my stubbornness and pride. I want to TRUST God fully and believe that He is working to make this good. I want my testimony to be one of Trust and His Faithfulness.

"So Hello, forclosure, though I didn't ask for you to drop into my life, you are here now. I don't really want you to make yourself at home, but feel free to sit and watch what God has planned for me and well; you, because it is going to be God-sized and it is going to be GOOD!"

oofdah!

2011-03-09T14:15:00.000-06:00

Let me be the first to admit, this is hard.
Going through the foreclosure process is not for the faint of heart.
What I am dealing with feelings wise and what my husband is battling are completely different and yet it is coming from the same evil place.
Today as I was setting up a play date for Butter for spring break the mother asked me:
"Are you guys moving? Ashlyn said Butter told her you are moving."
I took a deep breath and said:
"Yes, we are moving. Sometime in June or July. We are loosing our house."
The way I see it is, transparent. I'm not going to sugar coat or fluff it for someone else to hear it.
Nobody's doing that for me, I get to live all the gory details, so if you ask you get to hear them too.
(or if you read this blog.)
She didn't know how to respond, which is most people's reaction. So I fill the gap of silence.
"It's okay. I know God has something good planned for us."
I say it even if I'm not feeling it.
Because I've learned that it's not a feeling to Trust God. It's a choice.
To hell with my feelings, I CHOOSE to trust God.
If I live in that pit of feelings I've got nothing.
I might not SEE what God is doing, but at least there's hope.
In the pit, there is only despair. It's prime target city for the enemy.
My feelings SUCK right now. I can't sleep at night, I cry on the spot if I think too long about feeling...
Tears are welling up this instant as feelings bubble to the service.
So I cry out "Lord I hurt. This doesn't make sense. I choose to trust you. Can I NOT cry right now, can I at least make it through the day without shedding a tear? Can we save this for night when only you can see it."

As I stood there in silence-not even speaking of good things-the turmoil within me grew to the bursting point...and so, Lord, where do I put my hope? My only hope is in you.~Psalm 39:2,7

The last couple days I've stepped back from planning our trip. I can honestly, without a doubt say; that this trip is a GOD SEND. The crushing weight of feeling like a LOSER is awful.
I have people advising me to start packing...start purging...tick tick tick down the list.
The moment I think about it I am blindsided by worry, pain, bitterness, shake my fist anger.
It is difficult to hold yourself together in the sight of your child who has questions: "Mommy will I still go to this school?" "Mommy where are we moving?" "Mommy why do we have to move?"
"Do I get to bring my toys? Our house isn't lost, it's right here."
They don't understand, Butter told me the other day: "Mom, why don't you just give them your card, like you do at Target." (I have a debit card that takes money out of our checking and saves us 5% at Target. It's not a credit card and trying to explain that we have to have money in the bank BEFORE we can use the card.)
To her the card is magic, and pays for things like chapstick, socks and toilet paper, milk,t-shirts and red licorice and sometimes Barbies and Squinkies.

Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all that he has done.~ Philippians 4:6

Oofdah this is all I can do today.

Word for Tuesday: Tongues.

2011-03-08T13:31:00.000-06:00

They want these...

Yes, begging does work here.

Monday kinda...Happies?!?

2011-03-06T22:10:00.000-06:00

It's Monday and I don't feel the usual: *groan* it's Monday, hang the head and search for the coffee.
I have no idea why that is.
Maybe I spent most of my last week feeling a day behind.
But I'm happy.
I went to a hockey game with my husband last night and even though the Wild lost, I'm happy.
I sweet friend is bringing over some boxes today and even though they represent what is going to take place in a few short months, I'm happy.
I have a ~~crap~~ huge load of laundry to do, but I'm happy...I have a new washer.
I still do not have a car to do the things I normally do on a weekend afternoon, see this smile? It's because I'm happy.

Since I know it is all for Christ's good content with my weaknesses and with insults, hardships,persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.~ 2 Corinthians 12:10

When you wish upon a star...

2011-03-04T18:39:00.000-06:00

I have posted several times before about my dream for our family to go to Disney World. I had thought that I was very close to reaching that goal in January, when I found out what the tax refund would be and having spent many hours complying data, tips and pricing.

I was prayerful;

" Lord, if we are to use this money to do this let there be peace in my heart to move forward. If it is your will that this is not the time, please take away this desire and refocus my mind on what IS your will."

I had stopped collecting data. It just got too over-whelming.

Then my husband came home late. The car broke down. It was a clear sign that the paper route needed to be over. Control would need to be given up in this area for my Husband.

Then came the news about the house foreclosure.

We had been jumping through hoop after hoop, all communication had stopped on their end and it wasn't until a call from the sheriff told us of the sale. Panic set in for me.

Disney was not only off the table it was thrown into a dark corner to collect dusk until who knows when!

I began our search for a "new" place to live. I found a few things and wanted to go look at them. I needed a better idea of the space. I called for an appointment and was given a name. Sean. He called and said that day didn't work and that he'd call or email the next day to set something up. He didn't do either. I waited half the day, then I called again requesting someone else. A lady called me back she couldn't do it that day either. Time was running out, I only have the weekend to do these things since we have one vehicle. I called again and asked for yet another person, someone that could do it today.

Finally someone would meet us, in 15 minutes!

We met with Linda, and even though the space was not going to work for us, we felt the desire to share our situation with her. At which point she told us she had gone through this exact thing when her husband became sick and lost his job. She took us under her wing and just started telling us what the next steps were.

We met with a lawyer, Heather, that explained in great detail what was coming, what to expect and gave us some unexpected news as well. She went through foreclosure as well recently. She was now doing this work because she felt called to help others. I cried. I asked a million and one questions. I cried some more.

At the end of our meeting Heather looked at me and said "It's going to be alright. I want you guys to take some time and some money and do something fun for the family. You need to break the stress."

Rob laughed because he had suggested the same thing and my response was: ABSOLUTELY NOT! We need to save every last cent, we have no idea what is coming.

I was being given permission to release control, reminded that I had a life jacket and I would not be left to sink.

I said to them "I believe we were meant to meet. I believe that Rob and I were meant to go through this and go through this with both of you."

From the moment it all happened I never once feared loosing the house. I had peace that God was taking control and all we had to do was hold on to Him, cling if we needed, but TRUST Him. My worry came in the sense of lost dreams, Disney. Or at least taking our first family vacation somewhere.

Instead, I feared it would be all about the stress of moving.

That evening as we drove home I asked "Do you think we should?"

"Should what? Go to Disney? Yes. I know that you can get us there on a budget. I trust your gut." Rob said.

I was up until 3:30AM researching, I was even more over-whelmed then before, I could not make a decision. I finally went to bed and prayed:

Lord, please release me from this. I can't make a mistake. This can not be the right thing.

The next morning I checked my email, one message led me to one website then another and another, soon I had a quote and it was off the charts do-able! As soon as I confirmed the reservation I felt relief. JOY!

I believe that this was His planning and timing. I have wanted this for years, I have struggled through some heavy stuff and right now it's as crushing as ever. I could easily go down that road to depression and get lost there. But He has been walking right there with me, guiding me away from that. Nothing can be done now but repair and only time can do that.

When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. When you go thorugh rivers of difficulty, you will not drown! When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.~ Isaiah 43:2

Those who plant in tears will harvest with shouts of joy. They weep as they plant their seed, but they sing as they return with the harvest.~ Psalm 126:5-6

I believe that this was His planning and timing, I believe if we weren't going through this storm Disney never would have worked.

When I had lost all hope, I turned my thoughts once more to the Lord. ~ Jonah 2:7

The Lord is my strength, my sheild from every danger. I trust in him with all my heart.~ Psalm 28:7

SO be truly glad! There is wonderful joy ahead, even though it is necessary for you to endure trials for awhile. These trials are only to test your faith, to show that it is strong and pure.~1 Peter 6-7

We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trilas, for we know that they are good for us-they help us learn to endure. And endurance develops strength of character in us, and character strengthens our confident expectation of salvation.~Romans 5:3-4

If I didn't cling to these verses, I wouldn't be headed here:

When my eyes set upon this, I will think of Heaven and the palace promised for those who put their faith in the Lord:

It will feel amazing being the guest at a table that we drempt of, seeing those we've longed to see; I can only IMAGINE being a guest of Jesus...

There is a princess I have always wanted to meet! And a certain "hero" of mine. I was 13 when I went to Disney and the only one I remember meeting was Goofy.

Move over Tina and Stamos!

The little 8 year old girl is bursting to come out of me and gaze on the Beauty whose true love wasn't skin deep! I also can't wait to meet my "mentor" Mary Poppins, since we are both child care givers and believe just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down!

Disney is most definitely our sugar!

When you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are

Anything your heart desires will come to you

If your heart is in your dreams, no request is too extreme

When you wish upon a star as dreamers do

Fate is kind, she brings to those who love

The sweet fulfillment of their secret longing

Like a bolt out of the blue, fate steps in and sees you thru

When you wish upon a star, your dreams come true

March 1st!

2011-03-01T07:00:00.002-06:00

This sweet girl is waiting on Spring. She watches outside waiting for the snow to melt, so she can have nice green stuff to do her business on. She's sick of the frozen, freeze your whiskers off, snow and ice. I haven't the heart to tell her they are predicting more snow this weekend.

So I'll say "Hey Pipe! It's March baby girl! We're on the home stretch now!"

*cough*

See there is this thing that happens in March 'round these parts. They don't call it March Madness for nothing!

Oh, ya'll thought it was for all the tournaments right?

Not around here, see old man winter has been known to drop significant snow fall in March. There was nearly a blizzard on the day I was born.

Which happens to be March 29th, if you are taking notes.

Last year we had THE GREATEST MARCH IMAGINABLE.

We were treated to an early Spring, it was gorgeous, until April came, and then it was cold and icky until mid-July. That ain't right people!

I'll take my snowy March if it means a lamb-y April, don't be giving me any weak baby lions.

Let those things ROAR!!!

See even if there's snow, the days are sunnier, longer...there's hope of spring.

Look at these two! You'd think they hadn't seen sun in 4 four months! When you live here you know that in January and February if the sun is shining you need Arctic gear to go outside. Your face will freeze right off! So When the March sun starts shining through the windows; these girls take the opportunity to get their "warm" on.

Normally, they will not be near each other, Piper, the dog, thinks she's the boss, but don't let that sweet kitty face fool you; Tabitha is a vicious fighter. Claw less yes, but she can stun and stun hard.

I wish I could show you her in action when the dog steps out of line, pee your pants funny! She might be a diva, but she will not act on cue.

Since it's my birthday month I am trying to get right in the head. My mind is full of stuff that doesn't need to be there, so I am making a conciuous effort to rid my mind of negitivity. I have been speaking verses out loud and it has been so comforting. So I decided to have lunch everyday with the king.

Miss Sarah turned me on to this little devotional, which we have been doing every evening with the kids.
I am ~~trying~~ going to suceed at eating better. For some reason my body craves salads, but I need one of four things: Chicken (warm), sliced green onions, nuts or tomatos. Oh and dressing. It changes.
This was my salad from yesterday. Romaine and Spinach with sliced green onions, sliced strawberries, warmed left over chicken and warmed raspberry vingerette. It was super tasty, just typing this makes me want to go make myself one right now (it's nearly 11PM as I type)
I always need something sweet after dinner, usually I hit the chocolate or ice cream, but tonight I ate a banana with walnuts. It did the trick. I am ~~trying~~ going to suceed at eating more living food then ~~crap~~ boxed or bagged junk.
I think that it'll help clear my mind out better...

Happy first day of March everybody!
An extra bit of sweetness if the animals and salad weren't enough for ya:
Prayer from my son last night: Lord, thank you for this day and making it March tomorrow, please make it sunny forever and please help the leprechaun find his gold.

*( my spell check decided NOT to work. So pardon the errors.)*

Clean freak...not me!

2011-02-28T13:56:00.000-06:00

This lady cracks me up!
http://www.kellehampton.com/2011/02/state-of-our-house.html
She talks about not being a good housekeeper, it's hilarious and I could totally relate.
Some people just get their jollies from cleaning and keeping things neat.
My mom for example, she can not go a week with out cleaning her house. And when I say cleaning her house I mean the kind that normal people do when they just move into a home.
Who moves their fridge to vacuum behind it? or scrubs grout with a toothbrush. Come on, you will not get the front of the line because of that! Just saying.
In my head I can be a total neat freak.
Somebody forgot to give that memo to my hands!
We have markers all over the dining room floor.
Clothes everywhere that need the smell test because ~~the kids~~ nobody can say whether they are clean or not.
I do do laundry, but I've stopped putting it away for them. outfits never stay together anyway...it all ends up on the floor if they change their minds...

Moving on.
Staying next to Jesus is becoming difficult these days...satan is doing his darnedest to shake me loose. But I got a WHOLE book of Psalms to say aloud.

Ironically; just before I read Miss Kelle's post I had done some cleaning and rearranging. When I start to feel trapped, a good hour of cleaning helps. Now if I can just find the duster...

News on the home front.

2011-02-24T23:33:00.001-06:00

I don't know if you're like me or not but sometimes I feel like it's one step forward, three steps back.
It gets to be frustrating. Sometimes I feel like I am being punished, not by God, but society; for being a stay at home mom.
We try our best to live on one income, but things beyond our control happen that stretch this budget past our limits.
Gas. Have you been to the pump?
Technically I haven't been in quite some time, Hubby does all the gas pumping, it's a love language between us :)
But I have driven by a gas station and nearly wet my pants in fear.
Seriously, do they think we can afford $50 fill ups 3x a week?
Did you know my husband supplements our income by doing a paper route?
Did you know that our Subaru gave it's life doing the route for 3 years?
That ended today, well in four weeks from today, because they require a 4 week notice.
I told Rob to tell his "boss" that if he'd like to pay for our gas ~~we'd~~ he'd be more then happy to work 4 more weeks, if not, he gets 2.
Since I am the "aggressive" one I may have to make that call.
After much praying, it has to be done. We looked back at the repair costs and gas costs which are only going up and decided there wasn't much supplementing going on.
What is scary is we could count on something every Friday, now it's back to every two weeks.
Right after we decided to let it go we got a doozy of bad news.
We have been battling it out with our mortgage company for a little over 3 years.
Uh huh, I said a little over 3 years.
It's no wonder I'm on blood pressure meds.
Today they told us they were done. Apparently they'd rather have another foreclosed house on their hands. We were then informed that the house sold January 10th, the day they received our payment, which they kindly sent back to our bank.
I remember that day, the bank called and said "What would you like us to do with $$$$.$$?"
I responded "What is that from?"
"You're mortgage company sent it back."
"They WHAT?!?!?"
Whatever.
They call on the 5th day of every month to "remind" us of our payment being due.
Yep. We know. We can't pay it until Friday...
So they stopped taking our calls and now sending our money back.
Nice.
Rob is diligently working through every course of action, I am making list of what to sell, what to take and what to leave here when the sheriff shows up with an eviction notice. They can pay for the dumpster. :)
If this sounds to you like I'm handling it well, you'd be wrong. All you have to do is look into my eyes and see the overwhelming pain of FAILING.
I know that many are in this exact situation, but we still failed.
This house was never our dream home, it wasn't more then we could handle; it was a house to grow a family.
The economy changed and we were hit hard. Pay cut after pay cut took it's toll. Owing more on a house than we could sell it for.
It wasn't merely "stop eating out." or "tighten the boot straps." it was the cost of living going up verses the take home pay of a one income family.
We lost. We failed.
I do not look forward to renting a place that will be smaller, I do not look forward to digging out from this credit wise.
Instead, I look up. I believe that this happened because our grip was so tight on the controls that God needed to take them back, and sometimes He has no other choice but to pry it away from us.
Did He do this? No. We did.
He requires obedience and we have consequences if we don't follow.

Whether we like it or not, we will obey the Lord our God to whom we send you with our plea. For if we obey him, everything will turn out well for us.~ Jeremiah 42:6

Could I tell you where it all happened, maybe, but I could be wrong in my guess. For all I know it was a heart issue instead of a human error.
The truth is God doesn't ask you to follow your "feelings"; He requires we follow Him.
So now we wait for the next step.
Now that this door is closing, which will open next?

Dear brothers and sisters, whenever trouble comes your way, let it be an opportunity for joy. For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.~James 1:2-3

We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they are good for us-they help us learn to endure.~Romans 5:3

Stir Crazy

2011-02-23T11:30:00.000-06:00

I am literally going stir crazy.
There has been no work done on the car.
None.
Rob is out of ideas.
We've looked online, and oh.my.word. a car 4+yr old car with over 100,000 miles is about $7,000.
Yeah, that's not gonna happen in my realm.
To add to my stress I have now been home with my son for a four days. They were off school Monday and Tuesday. Tuesday I noticed his eye was red and gross.
Hubby took him in this morning and we have pink eye.
Okay Roo has pink eye.
Do you know how many times a day I tell this kid to get his hands OFF and/or OUT of his face?
How many times I tell this kid wash your hands?
So it's only a matter of time before the whole house gets infected. I am seriously ready to duck tape oven mitts to the kids hands!
Is that child abuse?
Could somebody please check into that and get back to me ASAP?
It's not like I'll lock him in the dog crate...
Did you see that on Oprah yesterday?
WOW.
And ONE FREAKIN' YEAR?!?!?!?
HMPF. I'm gonna trust that God's got some wee little crates with those two's names on it.
It's funny, we had a crate for the dog, everybody told us crate the dog. I never crated to the dog, but Roo on the other hand, every time I'd turn my back he'd be in there!
I am pretty sure that for year 2 and 3 the most repeated phrase was: "Get out of the crate! It's not a toy!"
We eventually put it in the garage. Guess what? He found it and continued to play in it.
It freaked me out.
To think that someone thought to lock up there child in one. That horrifies me.
The crate is now in the rafters.
And the second part of her show...
What would YOU do?
I would like to think I'd have the courage to let my child be the best them. Where is God in this?
Were these people REALLY born in the wrong body?
Why would God make them that way?
What good comes from a person born one gender and then looks at themselves as the other gender?
I did end up watching the Lisa Ling special on OWN. It was very interesting. In a train wreck sort of way. I was left thinking where is God in this?
Clearly that little girl/boy thought she was a she, and clearly "her" parents struggled with loosing the son who saw himself a girl.
I can remember a time when I had NO idea what gay was.
No not a day goes by when tolerance is requested, rights demanded.
It brings to mind slaves.
People thought owning slaves was fine.
There was a war over freeing them. Their right for freedom.
Civil rights.
Now Civil gay rights.
The world evolves and changes it's view.
Why?
We are taught God NEVER changes.
If God never changes and these sins are still sins...
Why do we live our lives in acceptance of things we know are "Wrong".
Are they wrong?
If your child had a friend and you found out that friend was born a different gender, would you still let your child be friends with that child?
How bout this: Your child's friend is a bully, do you let them continue to be friends? Because a sin is a sin. No sin is above or below another sin.
Murder=sin
lust=sin
lying=sin
You see where I'm going...
I doubt I will get any answers, not here anyway. I am a thinker. I question, not to be rebellious, but to gain knowledge. I find comfort in knowledge. I am trying to learn who God is.
and some times I feel like the bible paints Him to black and white. There is SO much gray.
I used to think it was humans that painted the gray, so they could get away with stuff, but then there are just somethings that can't be only black and only white. Can they?
I welcome any and all comments.

These are the posts you get when Sara is left home for days on end with out a car and nothing to do but think! HA!

Weekend Update.

2011-02-21T13:06:00.000-06:00

It was not one of the most stellar week ends for us.

Our trusty 10 year old Subaru died. D.I.E.D.

I have a handy husband, but Subi left him scratching his head and me hitting my knees praying.

After talking with his Dad, they seemed to be on to something...there was hope. But hours ran out of the day and it would have to wait.

Our new glasses were in, and trust me my pour eyes needed the new prescription. It was a bit of a nightmare ordering them. I had a difference of opinion with the salesgirl (I say girl cause she was young.)

Not only with the frames I picked out for myself, but also with the frames we had picked for Hubby.

He needed lenses that would accommodate bi-focals, no more cute little frames for him. I liked NONE of the frames She put him in, he liked one. I am still getting used to his "headlights". If you have ever watched the Disney Cars movie you'll understand: My husband looks like Sarge.

I knew that after time I would hopefully come to like his new frames. Mine however I need to feel good in.

She told me, that since my prescription was so strong I would need full framed glasses. Well, I liked my old frames, but I had something NEW picked out. If I wanted something similar to the old ones, I would not have spent the money on replacing the frames. I picked a rim-less frame.

She warned me.

The moment I put them on my insides lit up!

I followed my gut and I was most pleased.

I do not have a picture with my sunglasses on yet, um, I kinda need sun for that. And since we are in Minnesota and we are in the mist of a blizzard! There is no sun.

I love snow, I love living in Minnesota. I do not love when our 4wd car is dead in the garage and Hubby must take our brand-spanking new mini-van out to do the paper route on yet to be plowed back roads! He didn't make it far, he had to get towed out and then got stuck in our drive way.

I am dealing...but if I were a tea pot I'd be whistling right now!

We had a busy weekend, birthday celebrations.

It was Papa's big day. Papa is very special to us. Since he is tough to buy for I went out of the box.

He join the Y this year too. Nana mentioned something about work out clothes and that he has none, Rob mentioned seeing him in "1970's circa sweatpants that have the elastic around the ankle. Do they still make them that way?"

I have no idea, I don't shop sweatpants for men.

I found the "cutest" in style gear for him. Charcoal gray with orange accents. Shirt, long shorts and pants.

Nana burst out laughing when he held up the shorts. I asked what was so funny, it's not like these were 1980's style shorty short basketball shorts...

"He doesn't wear shorts, not long shorts!"

The look on Papa's face told me as much.

"Well, I understand it's out of your box, but you have to look good working out, I mean these are made for sweating in. You know you like those new golf shirts..."

He's into the dri-wick golf shirts. (he has plenty of those.)

He called the next day to tell me they didn't fit, he needed a different size. We had joked about it the night before: "What are you trying to say? I'm large?" He joked.

"No, I was going for the XL but thought I'd go easy on you!" I lobbed back at him. And we both laughed.

(He's no where near large, but Rob told me to get that size.)

He also told me that he would be exchanging the sizes, and still getting the shorts.

Good for you Dad!

Okay time for comparison:

SARGE

Well, see what I mean?

It's crazy he's a cartoon!

Another bonus was getting to see this guy!

Our nephew Blaine. He is so adorable. He wasn't having a good night, but I didn't care, even crabby the kid is so sweet!

Just look at those rolls, couldn't you eat him up?

And then the new "baby"...

This is Gracie. She is the sweetest thing. She breaks the mold on hyper Jack Russells. She is nothing like that. It may have something to do with her "disability". Gracie is deaf. She barks, but all you have to do is hold a finger up and she's quiet again. Wish that worked with all the other dogs!

She takes no gruff from the big labs (Blaine's dogs), and she doesn't let Jackie (Nana & Papa's Jack Russell) push her around either. We haven't introduced our dog Piper yet...

Now I suppose you are wondering: Did they get the car working?

No.

It is a source of stress for me.

Please say a prayer for us.

Thank you.

Long suffering.

2011-02-17T12:24:00.007-06:00

It seems I am being taught a lesson in long-suffering.
There has been a prayer on my heart (well, a few actually, but one in particular) that I been, up until yesterday, very patiently waiting to be answered.
If you know me at all, you know patient is not in the top 100 list of things that would describe me.
Nope, wouldn't even make the top 100.
I am being completely serious.
So the Spirit has been pruning my shrubs and working real hard at growing Him some patient fruit.
Ha ha, I just saw in my minds eye what that would look like, and he was wearing a purple bandanna on his head and he looked like he could use a cold lemonade to chase away the sweat.
Yeah, good luck with that fruit...I got some tough soil.
So I say to you Lord, Haven't we waited long enough?

Whether we like it or not, we will obey the Lord our God to whom we send you with our plea. For if we obey him, everything will turn out well for us.~ Jeremiah 42:6

We can rejoice, too when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they are good for us-they help us learn to endure.~Romans 5:3

Aren't you tired of this repetitious prayer?
Wouldn't you just like some peace and quiet over this matter?
You know how I can nag.
You know how I can get loud.
What if I turned this prayer into a dance to hip hop music?
You know how ridiculous I look trying to be "cool".
Would that help things along?

Don't worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.~Philippians 4:

Could you at least tell me WHAT is holding us back?
A clue?
Something?

When doubts filled my mind, your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer.~Psalm 94:19

Alright then, I'm gonna have to go hip~naggy~loud~hopping on you.
That's all.

So don't get tired of doing what is good. Don't get discouraged and give up, for we will reap a harvest of blessing at the appropriate time. ~Galatians 6:9

Open Hearts!

2011-02-14T12:29:00.000-06:00

I love Valentine's day.

I am a romantic, I love the frills of it.

The idea that there is a day (even if it was invented by Hallmark to boost sells in the after Christmas slump) Is that even true?

I don't care: I love that there is a day where we get to go crazy with our expressions of love.

We wear red and heart socks.

We fancy up the table, and not worry about messing up the napkins.

We have fancy heart plates, and drink from pretty wine glasses. (even if they are filled with milk.)

We have a special meal. (Crab legs and lobster tails)

A love box that contains special handwritten love notes that we read out-loud.

It is the day we open our hearts...

And let the love pour out.

We give flowers. It's become a contest, who can get the BEST deal on them!

We give chocolate in heart shaped boxes, and yes eat them all! (they are little boxes.)

And those sweet little Valentines...

Yes, we love to open hearts on Valentine's day.

And if you stopped by here, I hope you know that You are LOVED, today and always! xoxoxo

So I've been warned.

2011-02-07T12:39:00.000-06:00

I finally got my butt in to see the eye doctor. I had been procrastinating; not because I hate going, but because it makes me nervous when I go through all the trying things on and debating which new frames I should get...they give me the total.
It never fails to stun me.
I feel like we've been spending money like millionaires.
We purchased a "new" van; that I have yet to take pictures of. Not today, it's dirty and so cold, I refuse to get it washed or the doors will freeze shut.
We needed a new wash machine, which should be arriving Wednesday. Woo hoo!
There had been more drama with the "Where did they credit the prior purchase and WHY are we getting overdraft statements?"
Oh, yeah did they screw up again, but made it TOTALLY right the next day.
I've been ~~warned~~ told that Jeff the general manager wants to see me.
Yeah, they probably have my picture up in the staff room labeled: Watch out for this ONE!
ha ha ha.
Tradition round here dictates a romantic special dinner for Valentines day. We are high class over here. Four of us like steak, two lobster and three crab legs.
Bought all my goodies for that.
Hubby woke up one day about a month ago declaring: "We need a new bed! I can't take this anymore!"
I had reached that point two years ago!
So we spent an afternoon trying all kinds of beds. The one we wanted was like heaven, cloud like, if it weren't for having my bra on I swear I could have fell asleep right there in the store, but I can't sleep in a bra. Instead, we bought the affordable, yet comfortable bed. Beds are not cheap. Shocking really.
If Jesus hasn't already, He will be adding that kingsdown to my mansion.

It was time again for hubby to voice his needs.

"I think I need new glasses."

"Yep, it's been four years for you, two for me."

We went got checked out, he is bummed that he needs bi-focals. I was stunned to find that my right eye has been slacking and the left picking up all the work load. I went up a full point and a half in my right eye! I am a -6.75 in my right eye.
Hello coke bottle.
After spending two days searching for the perfect frames, at three different stores! I found them. They are rimless at the bottom.
I have been ~~warned~~ told that with my prescription being as it is the lens might be too thick...
I was ready to blow a gasket. I went into the maze of frames searching for a full frame.
With each one failing to delight my fancy. After an hour, yes 60 whole minutes passed, and me being on the verge of cracking and when I say cracking I'm talking, full out crying in public and looking like a complete lunatic.
I told the sweet gal, I have to go with what I originally picked.
She gave me a look.
I have been warned.
I was doubting myself.
What would I do if she was right and they looked ridiculous on me?
But I can't find any that I like!
None of these are working?
Screw it! I'm going with what I picked.
I was so excited for both my new pairs.
I got super big frames for my sunglasses, just in case the paparazzi come stalking.
She did say I had 30 days if for any reason...
I'm going with my gut. Gosh, I hope I don't regret this.
Rob had to give up his first choice, he needs bigger lenses to fit in his bi-focals. This was before I realized I'd have to re-search for my pair. So the sweet gal helped us with Rob. They are not what we had in mind, but I am excited to see how his turn out.
As for mine I'm crossing my fingers.
Now on to some bragging rights.
I am a Stat~Super Bowl Champion!
Hubby and I went head to head on making game calling stats: Who would score the first touchdown, win the coin toss, head or tails, fumble first, sack a QB first...you get the picture.

I won.
Got the must right, scored the most points.
It wasn't by much and there was some disagreement on his part, but he can't deny I got the most guesses right.
Hee hee, I am just giddy!
He is this sports junkie, listens to sport talk radio every day, can rattle off facts and figures and stats like an encyclopedia, but when it came to predictions...He got SERVED!

STAT~SUPER BOWL CHAMP!

You've been warned. :)

Home Depot made it right.

2011-01-31T21:31:00.000-06:00

I gotta say that after yesterday I never thought I'd say that stores name again unless it was followed by "sucks".
I did all the things one would do.
I wrote Home Depot an email explaining what happened to us, and when I hit the send button I got an error page, which I thought was pretty ironic since their costumer service was so stellar. (dripping with sarcasm.)
It sighed and said well, they wouldn't look at us in the store so why would they want to hear about our experience on their website under contact us.
I blogged about it, I facebooked about it, I sent an email to our local paper "the Watchdog" who intervenes on consumer's behalf when they can't get anywhere.
So imagine my surprise when I got home this afternoon and found there were 3 voice mails from Home Depot.
The first one came from Corporate headquarters.
The other two were from our local store: The General Manager and Assistant Manager respectively.
All of them sincerely wanting to talk to me about my experience and make things right.
I sat there, breathing in and out.
In ~ patience, mercy...
Out ~ resentment, hostility...
In.
Out.
In.
Out.
With each new breath debating whether or not I should call.
Could I explain myself in a calm, collected manner?
Did they deserve the chance?
In the end it was my need to be heard that won. I was looking for nothing in return, I wanted to be heard, I wanted to tell them they had a policy and they wouldn't honor it and then they simply disregarded us. That is was wrong, dishonest.
If not for us, then hopefully a change would come from this and someone else would benefit.
That was what I hoped for when I decided to call them back.
It was the sincerity in the voices that gave me the courage to call.
I first talked to Grant, at our local store, he is the assistant manager.
He was kind, concerned and humbly apologized.
He made us an offer and then asked if I could hold just a moment because his boss, the GM, wanted to talk to me.
Barely 5 seconds pasted and I was speaking to another kind, concerned voice; Jeff.
He humbly apologized and told me "I want you to know things will be handled, and that's putting it nicely." when I told him the name of the employee who *cough* helped us last night.
We chatted about their policy, I asked a gazillion questions. He assured me.
I told him I only wanted what I thought was fair. A price match. Again he assured me.
We were speaking the same language, on the same page, seeing eye to eye.
He asked us to please come back in, let them earn our business back.
I told him I'd have to talk it over with my husband.

We talked it over with his Dad. (His dad was there the night before and witnessed the poor treatment, and let me tell you, it takes A LOT to rile Gary. He was even ready to to boycott H.D.)

I did my research and realized that the machine we had purchased & canceled was "miss represented" to us. The salesman told us it had a steam feature, it did not.
The upgraded model was the one that had steam. It was also nearly $300 more in price.
I found a price online I would be willing to pay for the upgraded model. The price included tax and shipping. I also brought along a price quote for the model without the steam feature, just in case.

Grant came and met us when we got to the store, He sat down with us, apologized again and reiterated that they wanted to make this right.

I showed him the price matches I found, Rob explained the miss-representation on the lower model and one that had the steam feature.

Grant offered us the upgraded model for the online price of the lower no steam model.
That was a huge difference in price in our favor.

I declined.

I told him we would pay the price I found for the exact model as long as he matched that price.

I think he was stunned.

I know my husband was! Sorry Honey, I'm too honest.

It was the fair and honest thing to do.

I hate dishonesty, it crushes my spirit and felt that it would be dishonest of me to take advantage to this situation. They had already offered to give us the pedestal free.

We agreed on the price, got 10% off because it got the energy star discount.

Rob and I walked out of there in disbelief. We thought we were going to get the pedestal price matched. They did one better, the price matched an upgraded machine and gave us the pedestal.

They turned it around, they took our needs and our concerns and honored their policy.
Which is all we wanted in the first place.

Thank you Home Depot, for answering my email, when I didn't even know it actually went through!
For passing it on to our store.
Thank you to Jeff, who was honest with me, listened to my concerns and answered my questions. Who restored trust.
And a BIG THANK YOU to Grant who made us feel like costumers, who gave us his attention, for showing his concern and for caring about making a wrong situation right.

Home Depot, You Suck.

2011-01-30T21:26:00.000-06:00

Grrrrr.
I am mad.
Okay, not so much mad but disappointed.
Hubby and I set out to buy a new washer which we needed to replace pronto and a dryer so the new one wouldn't feel weird being the new kid on the block.
I didn't want a front load, I don't need the fanciest model. Just something that met our needs.
One of those needs was to be able to handle washing towels or rug loads without getting out of balance.
Grrrrr.
We had a very helpful salesman. Peter.
Peter listened to me and I had a lot to say. He looked at my husband often, who would give his "What she said..." encouragement.
When it comes to laundry I'm the boss. He's lucky if he remembers to sort...we won't go into that.
So when I told Peter I wash a lot of rugs, he told me about this one machine.
Guess what?
It was a front loader.
Hmmm.
As Peter was pointing out it's features a couple walked up and said "Excuse us, we couldn't help but over hear you talking about...We LOVE this machine."
They gave us some more details about their experience and walked away.
After Peter left us alone to debate what we were going to do. The Man came over again and talked about the machine. We thanked him and talked it over. We decided to purchase just the washer, it was a few hundred more then the top load, but it had all the features to meet all our needs, therefore worth the price and since it was the washer that wasn't working well we felt this was the way to go.
I asked about the pedestal price. Peter answered honestly that sometimes the prices rings up lower then the sticker price, but not always.
I was confidant that if we had any price issue that it could be solved with their price matching policy.
Once at home I went to work looking online at all the competitors in our area: Lowes, Menards, Sears, Best Buy. They all had the same price on the machine, however Home Depot.com had the pedestal $100 cheaper. That is some major cha-ching in our world. I printed off the information so we could go back the next day.
We were told we'd need to speak to a manager and since the manager was on his lunch break the assistant came over. He spoke to the clerk saying " They could not match the price because they would not get it for that price." He then added "Tell them to order it online." He then flippantly walked away.
He did not speak to US standing there, he only spoke to the clerk as if we were not there.
We said told them to cancel the order. If they couldn't give us a price match from their own website, they did not deserve our $1200 sale.
My Bro-inlaw told me nobody matches online pricing, that we either pay the price at the store or pay shipping for an online purchase.
Ah, in this particular case the shipping on the web was free and free install same as the store. Which you might be thinking okay order online then...well yesterday was Sat., today is Sunday the prices on the website have conveniently changed.

I'm sorry but I think it is appalling that a store can not or will not match it's own online pricing. It's utterly ridiculous in my opinion and since it is my blog, that's all the matters right? ;)

I can honestly say I will not set foot in another Home Depot store.

3 lbs.

2011-01-28T22:42:00.000-06:00

It may not sound like much, I mean that could be a bowel movement, but today at the gym before my workout, so I took a deep breath and stepped on.
I try to check my weight every time I go to the gym, but usually somebody is on it and I refuse to check it if their are people lurking around.
I had checked it earlier in the week and that same evening my husband *kindly* announced his weight and you know what the difference was?
I'm not actually going to say but I will say I was not happy about it.
Not happy at all.
So I did what any girl would do and took it out on the machines.
I am struggling, I really really don't like working out.
I hate sweating.
I had a debate with a gal at the gym about the sauna. She loves it because it's the only way she sweats and I would never set foot in it because just thinking about it sends me running for my Secret.
Today I did not want to go to the gym, but had had to go, I have 9 days in and I need 12 for insurance to cover it. (Which if your good at math; will tell you I have to go everyday for the rest of the month.)
I like lifting weights, sort of. I keep telling myself building muscle burns fat...
Then today I had a break through. I weighed myself.
3 lbs.
I weighed myself again.
3 lbs.
I weighed myself again, this time making sure nothing was in my hands, taking off every possible thing I was wearing without getting kicked out for improper dress code violation.
3 lbs.
Okay, I can do this.
I need to suck it up and drag my lazy butt in and get my workout in because pretty soon those 3 lbs are gonna have friends and those friends are gonna tell their friends and before I know it Bikini will be knocking on my door saying " Hey didn't I know you once back in the day? How about getting to know each other again."
And instead of slamming the door I will step aside and invite Yellow polka dot in.

Sara Blossoms Giveaway

2011-01-27T08:08:00.002-06:00

LOL, after reading that title and realizing I just posted about boobs, this could be very interesting!

*(I added giveaway right before posting)*

No, it's not about personal stuff.

Not today.

Today is about the pretty little things I've been making.

I found the tutorial for these and had to try making them. This was my very first. The fun part was using fabric I already had (I make baby lovies. Silky on one side/flannel on the other) then going to the craft store and picking out beads for the centers.

Oh, I burned my fingers a few times but after awhile I got in the zone.

I got a sweet invitation for a Valentine tea over a a friends house.
I'm am so excited to see everyone!
She told us to make Valentine's for each other.
So here are my Valentine's for my girlies! (Close your eyes if you're reading this any of you!)

Platium blossoms for the strongest sister-friends I know.

Of course since I have a daughter, I had to make something for her too.

She couldn't decide on a color so I came up with this:

And this...

This one is for me...

I have a few more to make yet.

Since Valentine's day is coming up, I thought I'd share a little love with you too!

Leave a comment on this post or email me and I'll send you a blossom.

That's a pretty sweet giveaway.

Pass it on, let's see how far it blooms.

It's about Boobies.

2011-01-26T14:08:00.000-06:00

First let me say that I never, I mean never thought I'd be blogging about my boobs.

My boobs are so not my best or most loved feature. As a matter of fact the were the cause of some pretty horrifying teasing in middle school. (back then we still called it junior high.)

In the summer of eighth grade my breasts appeared out of nowhere. The year prior all the other girls were developing, so it was normal. Some girls had more developments then others, but if seemed like it took the whole year for them to change. When I went back to school I was mocked an teased for "stuffing my bra" because apparently nobody believed that it only took me a summer to get breasts. And let me state for the record, mine are small. So who really cared? The teasers cared. I was so upset about it. Why would anyone stuff? I certainly wouldn't. I was uncomfortable with the fact that I now had boobs! Why would I want to act like I had boobs when I really didn't want boobs? (Well, I wanted them, I just wanted them not to ache and hurt so much.) I certainly didn't want the attention they got. I felt bad for the gals with big ones, the boys all plotted and schemed the best way to "accidentally" bump or touch them. Grrr.

I had one teacher, I may have shared this story already, Mrs. Shannon, she was the best teacher ever. She got that boys would be well boys and that us girls needed tenderness. She convinced me to "stuff my bra". I didn't understand. She then explained to me that if that is what people thought I was doing then I should just go for it. Tongue in cheek here. It was the lumpiest, most uneven stuffing ever, there was even some coming out my sleeve all intentional of course; as I came out of the locker room and all the class saw this spectacle they laughed and once they had their good laugh, Mrs. Shannon, bless her sweetheart talked about body changes and the differences in each person body and how and when it changes. She took no grief, she didn't tolerate the silliness. It was perfect. After that class I unloaded my stuffing and I believe several girls apologized to me that day. No boys, but it was enough that my teacher cared enough for me to do that and that the girls acknowledged they'd hurt me.

Boy is that a trip down memory lane!

So I've never been comfortable with my boobs, the only time I liked them was when it came to the point of wearing a bra. Some ladies need their "ladies" supported. The down side to not needing the support is the nipping out that goes on. Horrifying. I remember wanting a strapless dress for prom, but I'd never worn a strapless bra, and they never fit right. So I modified the situation; I put band aids over my nips so they wouldn't show. It worked, I'm not saying I could sell that idea, but it worked.

I've now reached a point where, they are NOT what they used to be.

Who had any idea that your boobs changed throughout your lifetime, this wasn't in the health books I read! I was defiantly thrown a curve when I became pregnant. Now I'd heard they got bigger. I thought that would be a plus. My husband certainly did. But the bigger they got, the more uncomfortable them were, I wore sports bras through both my pregnancies. That was the only thing that felt good. Held tight by stretchy fabric. NOBODY tells you about when your milk comes in. I pumped at the hospital with Butter. They told me to. I never got much. I wanted to try breast feeding, I knew that I probably wouldn't end up doing it long, but at least I could say "I tried it, it wasn't for me." Butter was a horrible latcher, it hurt every time we tried, at one point I pushed the nurse away from me and told her "I was done." She gathered from my tone and phyiscalness that it was best to walk away and never come back. After I got home and no longer had the pump, well, nobody warned me and those were the worst days of my life. I never knew boobs could hurt that bad. With my second, I again wanted to try. He was a snacker. Didn't want to work for the milk. After the first day of trying we quit and he and I were much happier with the bottle. After that I was disappointed to find that after the milk goes away so does the firmness, um that once was there. I'm not talking about breastfeeding firmness, I'm talking about the girls standing at attention like they once did. How is it possibly for my little breasts to sag? But they do.

Now that I'm getting older, I cringe. I saw my mom a few months ago, she went in to have an angiogram.

I caught a glimpse of her "ahem" breasts *blush* and I said out loud "What happened to you nipples?"

I was mostly thinking this in my head, but unfortunately my filter must have been off. I don't remember them looking like that. Then I thought about my own and how much they had changed through my short life time, was that what mine would become?

She laughed at me and said "Welcome to womanhood! You just wait."

Great! Now she was mocking me.

I've never been a big fan of bras. Hate wearing them. They pinch and dig and they are just so uncomfortable to me.

Well maybe you just don't have the right fit?

I've been fitted. Twice. Both of them were wrong and very different in their sizing. Even this:

Failed me. I do not FIT in a 38C. No, I most definitely do NOT fit into a 38C.

Trying things on in the store puts me at a 34/36B comfortably. These boobies do NOT fill a C cup. Not the C cups in stores! Another part of my problem is cost. I refuse to spend more the $20 on a piece of clothing that you wear under other clothing. That is not logical to me.

(I hate swimsuits too for this same reason, little fabric that doesn't cover what you'd like it to cover and yet it costs more then the mu mu?!?!)

I am a loyal brand-er. I like a certain brand and if it fits me, is semi-comfortable I'll be loyal forever.

Unfortunately when my bras break or wear out when I go to replace them I find that my "brand" changed something, and it's not the same fit...grrr.

These are my plan janes, The ones I wear when I want to have good looking breasts under t-shirts bras.

They are slightly padded and under wire.

I used to have 4 nude ones, one black and one light blue.

2 of my nude ones have worn out and another one has stitching that is coming open so the darn under wire pokes me.

I even have one for "special" occasions when I want to look "bigger".

It has a bit more padding in it. As good as this one looks on, after I get clothes on, it still feels "stuffed".

Like "Where's my boobs? Oh, right! Their they are under and behind all this padding."

(do say this with a british accent: that's how I heard it in my head. I saw the Kings' Speech last week, SO good. I love how they talk and certain words trigger the accent in my head.)

Does that ever happen to you? (yep that too was in British...)

These are my favorites to wear, they are soft, and don't feel quite so much like I'm wearing a bra but I still give me that feeling around my chest. What I hate about them is the nip-age when it's cold or if something brushes me. Oh come on, don't act like yours don't nip out too!

We need to talk about these things right?

Oprah did!

She did a whole show about this. Did you see it?

http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/The-Bra-Revolution

Well, this is just great if you can spend $100 or more on A bra. (A=one)

So why am I posting about this?

Because I'm curious. I want to know if I go to a boutique for boobies will spending $100 on a bra really give my the fit and comfort I crave?

No, I am not talking about Victoria Secret. Been there, tried that, was improperly sized hated the fit/style.

I had to literally show the gal that the size she said I was and what it looked like on was defiantly WRONG.

So for my birthday; which is two months from Saturday; I am going to "treat" myself to a bra shopping experience. I am going to be 37, I think that every lady should have one BRA that makes her look and feel as sexy as she can, whatever to cost. (trying not to choke.)

If you have any thoughts or suggestions please do share, it would make this post worth the effort.

Alright here goes, I'm hitting the publish button...

Well I don't know...I guess I'll craft.

2011-01-23T12:44:00.000-06:00

Well I don't know a lot of things.

I don't know why it's taken so long to post.

I don't know why I have cravings for sweets all.the.time when obviously I don't need them. (see: my belly in a dress)

I don't know why it has to be so stinkin' cold, I mean seriously, if I wanted to be a penguin or polar bear wouldn't I live in the arctic?

I don't know why there has to be so much suffering. I see it all the time: in the news, on blogs I follow, from friends.

I don't know why I can be so bored one day and then completely obsessed with some craft project the next.

I don't even know how to use all the setting on my sewing machine, but when I have a craft in my head it's got to come out.

Searching out God's will.

2011-01-10T15:28:00.000-06:00

I need a mentor.
Honestly I can lay awake interpreting, classifying, juggling, mulling thoughts.
We've been in a message series about the Holy Spirit. I've been loving it.
But I asked a question about a verse.
The question is How do they know?
I'm not asking for historical proof or evidence, what I'm asking is How do they know that they have interpreted it right?
I mean, some things in the bible are more literal then others.
I am a literal person.
I am a person driven by truth. I must find the truth about something and once I do, I'm good. If I can't, it drives me crazy.
I literally have a list of questions.
Some people keep lists of what they need from the store, yes, I have one of those too. Some people have a prayer journal, yep, got one of those too.
I have a journal that I keep my questions in.
Over time some of them get answered, some of them may never be answered until I have passed on.
And maybe some things I am just never meant to know.
Do you think that God keeps secrets?
I mean, Do you think there are some things He'll never tell, or somethings we just can never understand because after all we are human, He is God and well, our brains just aren't the same.
Or will we get to Heaven and suddenly every question our hearts have ever asked, both spoken and unspoken we'll simply, immediately know the answer to?
If you haven't guessed by now I am philosophical. I think deep. I go places that are not for the faint of heart.
There have been many times my husband has sighed at me and said "NO, I really DON'T think about it."
And my reaction is always the same: "What do you mean you don't think about it?"
My brain is obsessed with thinking about it and he's telling me sports scores and work are really all that he cares to think about.
Umph!
The reason I decided to name this blog Interpret Sass, was because, I can be a sassy little brat with my speech. I must interpret all the thoughts and ramblings in my own head. I speak my mind. I say what I think, I am truthful. Have I spoken white lies, yes, to avoid hurting someone, starting an argument, and biting my tongue (example: Child dresses themselves, they don't match, look like a mess and yet you want them to grow their independence. So when you are asked "Do I look okay?" I will answer "How do you feel? You look fine."
Or you are at someone's house for dinner: they serve something you didn't like are you going to tell that person "Um, I did not like dinner, but hey, thanks for having me."
No, your going to sit there enjoy the company and tell them you had a nice time, even if you have to stop at McDonald's on the way home.
The with holding my tongue is the hardest, but I'm determined not to shout out the truth in a moment of being "right".
So where is all this coming from?
I was woken this morning by a nagging. My daughter asked me something yesterday that I kinda blew off. I didn't want to get into it all. I was convicted about my own feelings about it; and instead of having the conversation then and there when she wanted answers, I took time for myself to think over how I wanted to give those answers and what the answers themselves would be.
Gosh, kids hit ya with hard questions and out of no where!
As I prayed my way through it one of the prayers was "Lord, I need direct contact. If it is your will that we move forward with this..."
So this is the meat and potatoes of it.
Is this question, this stipulation, I guess, is it WRONG? Am I WRONG to ask it this way?
Am I being prideful by saying; I kinda think this is your will, but if you do it this way I'll know for sure.
Because this week we learned that Jesus spoke through a donkey to send a message, He speaks through pastor's all the time, maybe this was Him speaking through my daughter and that should be all the "proof" I need. What if she's jsut asking questions, hard questions, because she is looking for an answer.
Here's the background:
This has been a battle since before I married into my husband's family. It felt to me like they got together over everything. Now that the family has grown with more children, there are even more parties. It is extremely one-sided. We are expected to show up, however when we have something to celebrate a great portion of them don't come. It was brought to my attention that a birthday is this weekend. Nobody emails me, phones me, texts me...I'm not hard to find. It is passed from one mouth to another to another and I'm suppose to feel joy attending, when; though we are WELCOME, we weren't actually invited by the host(tess).
I know I have issues here. Plainly.
But when I host something, I send out invitations through the MAIL, not an evite, not a mass holler across a room full of people, sometimes it IS with a phone call. My point: I talk IN person to a PERSON about the PERSON we are having the celebration for. It's called personal relations.
Many times when we've gone in the past it's a :Who can out do the last person's thing...
It feels more like it's about the adults out-shining the kids and when the focus IS on the kids, it's when it's present time and the excess is INSANE, not to mention the who bought the best present.
We stopped going the moment my daughter said to us "Why does Emma get all those presents for her birthday, she's not even looking at them?"
I'm not cheap, I'm thrifty and watching a child cast aside a gift that was thoughtfully picked out for her, because it wasn't the biggest or she has 20 other gifts...at what point do you say enough?
Another example of one-sidedness: I threw my husband a 40th birthday party. He didn't want anything fancy, he just wanted to celebrate his day with friends and family. The party was set for an afternoon, food was lovingly purchased and prepared for all those invited, a huge part of Rob's family did not show up until an hour AFTER the party was to be over (2-5), it wasn't that big of a deal because many friends stayed, I hadn't put food away...they came for 10 minutes, then they had to leave to make dinner reservations. I could not believe it, invitations had gone out in secret a month ahead of time. I was appalled by their lack of courtesy, by the food wasted, the selfishness of their actions, and just because they don't RSVP doesn't mean they are NOT coming; none of these same people RSVP'd for our wedding. These same folks invite and expect us at their celebrations but never seem to feel the need to come to ours. Breaks my heart.
Now Butter is asking, because she overheard the invite, why aren't we going?
I've been asking myself that question... is it my pride that's keeping us from going?
Maybe.
I just am a believer in; you treat people how you want to be treated. You set the example of how other's treat you. If you act cold and fake around someone, how do you think they are going to respond to that? Will they want to come to your house? Will they feel comfortable around you?
I get around these people and I just stand there, like I'm outside the store window looking in.
I used to try and talk with each of them, start conversations but after having someone walk away from you in mid-conversation on several different occasions, you kinda wonder if they even want to talk to you.
When it comes to invitations it always comes through someone else, never directly to me: The wife, the one who manages the calendar, the one who coordinates the schedules.
Have you ever asked a guy something? What is one of his top responses?
"Let me ask my wife. Talk to my wife. I'll let you know after I talk to my wife."
What's the number one reason guys get in trouble from their wives?
Not talking to them.
When I make plans, I don't approach their husbands, even though they talk to me and I feel 99% more welcomed by them, no, I make it a point to tell the women, the schedulers.
I want to do God's will in this. If we are meant to get back into going, even if it's for the kids and their realm of family, I'll do it. I don't want to go someplace I am not wanted, enjoyed or invited. I don't want my children to feel ignored or unwanted.
If these people treated me differently, I wouldn't have a problem taking an invitation from word of mouth, but it feels like we're the after thought, why should we put importance on "family" when others clearly do not?
If you want to put a label on us and call us family, then maybe you should ACT a bit more familial.
Could the same be said for me? Absolutely.
I do treat them in a familial way, the way they have set the guidelines for.
I send them each Christmas cards. I invite them to things we ask all family to. I even have gone so far as to comment on their facebook status, which they do not do on mine, only one of them excepted my friend request. So, maybe I'm bitter, I don't feel bitter, I don't feel like I haven't forgiven, I feel sad.
I feel like they are missing out on being apart of our lives, like we want family to be.
I can't make them CHOOSE us.
But what I can do is set an example for my children: If some one doesn't treat you the way you want to be treated, you don't have to be around them. Even if that someone is family, sometimes family can be the cruelest to you. Family is not a "pass" to treat you like crap, it is a gift that some choose not to appreciate.
Jesus tells us to love one another, not show up and be treated like your invisible. Some times the best way to love people that hurt you is to leave it alone, forgive them and move on. Jesus didn't hang out with the people that didn't like him, He went out and found people that wanted to know him, wanted to hear his message, that believed in him through knowing him. Did he confront those that didn't like him? Yep, he tried to teach them, but in the end it was up to them whether they wanted to believe in him or not.
Just like it is up to Rob's family to except and embrace me or continue to treat me like an outsider.
I can clearly remember the day I met them. Rob was so excited for me to meet them, I had heard nothing but good things about them. Imagine then my surprise when upon introduction they looked me over and proceeded on with their conversation as if I wasn't even there, no questions about who I was, what I did, where Rob and I met...nothing. In the times I tried to ask about them, I was rebuffed, ignored or interrupted. I felt like Rob's compassion for these people was completely one-sided. Time has only given me truth to that statement.
We all have issues with family, some bigger then other's.
I want to live a life that is compassionate and following the direction of God. If going that way and someone else is going another, isn't it at that point that you must turn and keep going or do you keep stopping, going back, seeing if they've changed their mind...or do you keep your head up, eyes on God and pray that in the end both your roads brought you to the same place?
If you have a thought about this post, please share it with me. I am open to your opinions.

So much for that idea!

2011-01-07T14:56:00.000-06:00

I've been wanting to post a recipe for the last few times...but food has been the last thing on our minds lately. And last night was no exception.
At roughly 1:45am a certain 6 year old let off a puke bomb in the bathroom; then proceeded to go back to bed as if he'd just gotten a drink or something.
It took me a few moments to leave my wonderful dreamland involving sunshine, Hugh Jackman and a bottle of sunscreen, to realize; Did I just hear someone get sick?
Usually when that happens there is more to follow, either by way of more coming out, a toilet flushing, sink running a voice calling out "I'm okay. I just puked."
No seriously, he does that. Big boy makes his way to the bathroom, does what he needs to do, knowing his momma has a weak stomach calls out; "I'm okay. I just puked." and goes right back to bed.
Not last night.
There was no warning, he, of all of us, had been the healthiest the longest. He even ate a great dinner, no hassle, no fuss.
We sat down for a family popcorn night of Winter Wipeout.
2am and I'm wondering to myself "what the??? Do I smell barf?????"
And that's when I knew Hugh wasn't there, that's exactly the moment I realized this was not a dream, I was about to step into, literally, my worst freakin' nightmare!!!!
Que Twilight Zone music.
I honestly debated: Should I wait for Rob? What time is it? What day is it?
Realizing he wouldn't be home for hours. Hours. (He was doing his paper route.)
That smell was pushing me over the limit NOW!
I grabbed my bandanna and reach around in the dark for the pot of vapor rub. I slathered up my nose and headed for the closet, I needed gloves before I could even look.
Oh God!
No. Really, that's about all you can say when faced with the sight of it.
Had this child been possessed by demons? My God!
(I am saying his name more out of pleading prayer then shock or surprise)
There is just no way I am going to make it through this. The bile is rising at the sight, I have not even really looked, I just see that sick pinkish/orange/yellow gore and my gag reflex is quivering.
Oh God, help me, if there's chunks...
If I were to name this event it would be Pukalots SplatterCox.

It was everywhere; Places I was not going to clean, I would make it out alive, there would be a news alert: Woman dies after reportedly puking herself to death...No she did not go on a binger or suffer from a deadly disease, she had a violent reaction to cleaning up after her son threw up.

If I blew, Oh for the love of the Lord, Rob was going to find hell had taken over his house.
I got my son up out of bed.
"You need to clean this up." I spoke trying not to breath.
He dutifully got up, looked around and said to me: "Where?"
You've got to be kidding me child! Where? I'll tell you where!
EVERYWHERE!
I rolled up the rugs and placed them in a basket, he brought the stench downstairs.
I mopped the floor and he cleaned the toilet, walls, cabinets, tub and door.
I made him do the chunks.
Don't judge me; I have a very weak stomach.
When I was a nanny, my girl got sick, I ran across the street to get the neighbor to help her.
Can't. Do. It. If I start, no, no I can't even go there.
I can handle babies.
With their poop up the back, puke all over the sheets, gag-eat-barf; but when they get to that age where smell and chunks are involved I can no longer deal.
Someday, some woman is going to thank me.
My son will be the cleanest puker ever, why?
Because he had to clean up after himself.
Seriously, think about that.
If you knew you were going to have to clean up your own mess, wouldn't you make darn sure the mess was as small and as contained as possible?
Wouldn't you fight back that urge until you were at least aiming distance from a sink/toilet/trash?
Because letting loose a spray of splatter-gore would mean you having felt gross enough to let it come out, now your having to clean it up.
For whatever reason he chose to blow chunks. There is no better "reality check" then to have to clean it up. Bet he's making a little note to self: Make it to the toilet.

My son is a puker. I admire that in him. He doesn't fight it, he just goes in takes care of it, cleanly for the most part.
I fight it. Even if it means feeling better 10 minutes later, I'd rather feel sick then feel that minute or two of loss. My daughter crys. She gets so upset with that loss of control that she crys.
Rob is somewhere in between bring it on and okay I guess I'll feel better.
Nobody likes to clean it up. And I think I can say that with complete confidence that I'm speaking for everybody when I say NO body likes to clean it up.

Oh, are you wondering how he's doing today?
He's playing hockey right next to me. He was a little bummed that he missed Pajama day at school with popcorn and purple pop for Pp day, until I reminded him we had pajama night and popcorn the night before that led to the splatter bomb/ middle of the night clean up.
No fever, nothing. Just the vague memory of watching his mother turn into a completely helpless woman, that is until it's time to bake cookies! ;)

Now as for that recipe I was talking about, I just can't post it at the end of something like this. That is gross. But I promise it's coming...the recipe that is.
For now go get yourself a can of coke you're gonna need it ;)

Dang nabit!

2011-01-04T18:06:00.000-06:00

I We made it through the holidays and birthdays without any sickness. My son had a bit of a runny nose over Christmas but nothing that would make me bust out the Lysol and hazmat suit.
At the start of the week I was feeling stuffy, come on Zyrtec this is why I take you!
I woke up today with a killer headache that seemed to get worse as the day went on, I was defiantly not spending the afternoon with a room full of kindergartners.
I have been working out, eating better, getting to bed at a decent hour and blammo; I'm laid up on the couch wishing I could take a hammer to my head and someone would tell me the reason I feel so nauseous and hungry is because I have a tape worm. Not that I want a tape worm, I mean eeeew! But at least it would explain this feeling. There would be a "cause" and with a "cause" there would be a solution, maybe something pink and minty and rhymes with Clepto Hismal.
Instead I go around and around with my dear sweet husband:
"What do you want me to make you?"
"I don't know, what do you feel like making?"
"Grill cheese and tomato soup?"
"Gross, the thought of soup makes me gag."
"So what do you feel like eating?"
"Nothing, the cupboard doors, I'm so hungry!"
Actually a nice sloppy chili dog sounds good, I really MUST be sick because that would never cross my lips...

sigh 2011

2011-01-03T13:20:00.000-06:00

My husband was home with us last week. It was a sweet blessing when he came home and told me he had taken that week off. I was preparing myself for a week full of arguing and bickering from the kids, saying I'm bored and can we do...
I was looking at my Christmas tree with loathing: Worst part ever of Christmas, taking down the tree.
I am such a freak about where the ornaments go and how they should be put away, how to take of the lights and wrap and store the tree that I could never ask anyone to do that job other then myself.
Hubby graciously offered to help on Sunday (while the game was on) Unfortunately, that didn't fly with me. It was nagging at me before then. I needed to do it when I felt like doing it.
Now that everything is put away and the kids are back at school and the Husband is back at work and the sounds of the washer and dryer fill the air while I type this, it is dawning on me that it is a new year.
What are my goals? What are my dreams for this year? How will this year be different from 2010? How will they be the same?
What have I learned this past year? What will I hold on to, and what will I let go of?

I think the letting go is huge. ~~Raise your hand if your a control freak?~~ Raise your hand if find yourself trying to be a control freak? (I say try because honestly we can't control a darn thing.)
I've taken a lot of things personally, but it sure felt like not as much last year.
I am learning to look at the other side; when someone says something to me; where is it coming from?
9 times out of 10 it isn't about ME, it's something else.
And yet my response was "Oh my gosh! Did they just ... I feel so hurt!"
These days if I can't make sense of it I talk about it with people I trust to give me the truth, I lay it down and leave it until I have some resolution and then I release it.
This last year has made me question a lot of things having to do with my family. This last year has given me some healing in a very old wound. This past year has brought new wounds. But the difference in my response to them is tremendous.
I no longer look to heal it, I look to treat it, to keep it clean, to keep out infection.
I've learned that wounds sometimes never heal and the only place where they won't hurt anymore is Heaven, so the best I can do is keep the infection away.

I am taking my body more serious. There are things I simply can not change about getting older. ( Now I know some of you are slightly older then me and are probably thinking "What is that 36 year old complaining about!")
I absolutely hate these things my Doctor calls "skin tags". He tell me I can "go ahead and remove them myself, and they are benign". Ahh, I nearly jump through the roof when he touches my nether parts and he thinks I can handle taking a razor to my own skin?!? Next time I may suggest he needs his meds changed because he might be going a little crazy ;)
I hate that my skin is sagging in places that are SO unattractive. What is with that truffle shuffle under your arm when you wave? Seriously, yuck.
I guess I can live with my butt looking like a really bad golfer shot a bucket of balls of the back nine and forgot to replace the divots! But it is gross to see flaps of skin, when pinched, stay put, like they have super glue on them and need to be literally massaged back into place.
I do have a neck, but think they need to invent Spanx for it.
So by taking my body more serious, I mean spending time at the gym, not comparing myself to 20 year-olds and wishing I had my 20-something body back, because I don't want the brain that went with it.
I am trying to become more aware of what I'm eating and WHY I'm eating it.
That is as close to a resolution as I get.
So here's to the start of 2011! *Sigh*
Here we go!

Resolution Thoughts.

2010-12-31T16:45:00.000-06:00

I am still whirling from the speed in which I got the decorations down this year. I woke up with a nagging to "get r done".
It is hard to believe 2010 is over...why does it feel like the older I get the faster time seems to go by?
I thought "old people" were suppose to go slower. so why does it feel like things are going faster around me?
There are some things I had hoped for in 2010, that didn't happen. I guess 2011 could be the year.
I will continue to seek God and do my best to wait on his timing.
I will continue to cherish my friendships and relationships, they are precious and need to cared for.
I will continue to teach my children about God's love. I will continue to give them boundaries and encouragement.
I will continue to find new ways to love my husband.
I will start taking my health more seriously, I have the ability to work out, I need to TAKE it.
I will take time for myself, I will not feel guilty about it.
I will take time to enjoy the moments, because like it or not, time is just passing much too fast.

Happy New Year Everyone!

Christmas Rewind.

2010-12-29T00:06:00.000-06:00

It has been so busy around here, blogging has become something I used to do...

I get a triple whammy at Christmas time. Not only do we celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior, but we also celebrate the birth of each of my kiddos.

This year I had Butter's "friend party" early, which helped out a great deal.

My Husband decided he would surprise me this year and so on Dec. 23rd we picked up a 2009 Dodge Grand Caravan, whom Butter has named "Holly". I was extremely surprised and excited! Our son however, upon seeing the van began crying "I want the Subaru! I hate the van!"

He hated the van for one day, until he got in a realized that no, he doesn't have to sit right next to Butter and he gets the back all to himself where he can watch his own DVD. As a matter of fact, he did not want to get out and go open presents Christmas morning because he was so content in the van!

No pictures yet, sorry I'm awful. It's just been so busy. Soon, pictures of the van are coming soon.

We normally host Christmas Eve at our house, both our families come out and it's always a lovely time.

As many of you know, my sister and I don't have the greatest relationship.

I heard through Mother that she asked if I was having Christmas. (She could have just as well talked to me about it, but well, that would have meant she had to talk to me about it...you see how that works.)

So I took it upon myself to tell my Brother in law (whom technically isn't my brother in law, but in fact the father of my nieces and nephew) that I was having Christmas Eve and that they were invited. (They being Him, his fiance' and the kids; since my side of the family opens gifts on Christmas day.)

Sherri HAD to call me, when her daughter was invited to Butter's slumber party, making NO mention of Christmas.

The day before Christmas Eve, I got a call from Thomas; Sherri was not allowing the kids to go with him for Christmas Eve. I called her and asked if she was bringing the kids out. Her response to me was "No. Me and my kids are doing something different this year."

I asked why? She said she wasn't comfortable coming over if Thomas and Val would be there.

I told her if she had the kids, they would not be coming, they were only coming to bring the kids.

She said again that they were doing something different this year.

I told her I thought she was playing games and was being spiteful, she hung up on me.

She called me the next day to tell me she didn't get to tell me everything she wanted to say; could it be because she ended the conversation so abruptly perhaps?

She then went on to tell me that her kids enjoyed coming out to our house and that Christmas was always fun. I waited for what ever else she was going to say but she said nothing. I said "I don't understand what you are saying?"

"I thought I made myself perfectly clear." With that she hung up again.

Was she waiting for an invitation? She told me the night before she wasn't coming, what did she expect me to say?

I found out through my niece they did nothing, NOTHING, no church, nothing.

It was as we had suspected, she wasn't going to let those kids come out. I also found out that she had planned to keep them from their Dad Christmas day also, but my Dad's wife ended up in the hospital that day with kidney stone's so they weren't having Christmas so THEN Sherri let Thomas have the kids.

It sickens me to no end that she does this to her kids, uses then as pawns.

Although she tried, Grinch-sister did not ruin Christmas!

The Cox's loaded up in the new sleigh and enjoyed a beautiful Christmas service at Church.

My mom came out and we had a lovely small dinner.

Followed by exchanging gifts.

Oh Christmas tree, Oh Christmas tree...

I'll have a bluuuuuuuuuuue Christmas....

Rockin' around the Christmas tree...

How did we get the dog to sit so good and not the photogenic one?

Waiting to open...she already knows what it is, okay, she thinks she knows...

We look like a big red blob! I love snuggling up with my boy!

Christmas morning! They are ready to tear into those stockings.

Nicholas got Wild Hockey tickets from Santa!

(A college roommate of Rob's asked if he was interested in Wild tickets, his buddy got tickets, found out the guy he wanted to see was hurt and didn't want to drive the 8 hours for the game. The seats were just off the goal, 16 rows up! And we got them for FREE!)

At Nana & Papa's with Go Go Dog "Winter" and "Big Red"

Nick took this picture of Rob and I.

Jac(quie) -Attack helping the kids open gifts.

Blaine, Nina and Nick

I love this one! Poor little guy, he's had enough!

Dec. 26th was a day I spent doing all my last minute detail shopping for Nina's new room! We still needed to paint.

And it happened to be the day the boys were going to the hockey game!

Nick had so much fun with his Daddy. He stayed for the whole game, unfortunately the Wild lost. As Nick said at the end of the game "Stupid Detroit!"

Nina didn't get picked up until afternoon for her over night, so we only had a couple hours to get the room painted and set up. I was up until 2AM! But it turned out beautifully.

Nick and I waited in her room, I taped up wrapping paper over the door so she had to "open" her present. When she ripped it down Nick and I yelled SURPRISE!

She was very surprised and quiet. That's my girl, she takes it all in.

We took Nina out to Joe's Crab shack for dinner, she wanted crab legs! And for dessert Dairy Queen.
(Nick has requested Taco John's for his birthday...) I am still having a hard time with the fact that my girl is now 8 and not so little anymore!

I have a house full this week, Rob took all week off work, which is FABULOUS! (I love having him around.)

My niece is visiting for a few days, not without drama from her mama though...that's for another post.

Today I paint!

2010-12-23T09:54:00.000-06:00

I must be crazy!
Over the summer, when my son got a "new" big boy bed, my daughter complained that she didn't like her bed. (OK, so it was a used bed, and pretty dated...but money doesn't grow on trees and have you seen the price of bed frames? Not the actual bed and box spring...no no the bed frames.)
so all through out the summer I searched for a reasonable priced frame that was indeed NEW. I found one, and it was less then $200 including shipping and NOT from Ikea.
So the plan began...we'll give her a room make over now that she's turning 8.
She's into blue.
I found a very cute quilt on clearance.
I made matching curtains.
The bed came and is already put together in her room. We told her about the bed, because we needed it put together and in the room, so we could get the other one out. She has no idea there is more, she thinks it's just the bed and that's good.
So today I must get half the room painted. She thinks it is to match the white of her bed. (She has white walls now, but the bed is more of a cream color.)
We made arrangements for her to spend the night at Nana and Papa's house on the 26th, so Hubby and I could paint the room. Then Hubby says "I can get tickets to the Wild game, we could give them to Roo for Christmas..."
"That's great! He'll LOVE that and we wouldn't be able to afford those seats EVER, so yeah, take the tickets! What day did you say the game was for?"
Long pause
"The 26th."
Long pause
"Um, we're suppose to be doing a room maker over that day!"
"I know. But the tickets are free! The seats are behind the goal in row 16."
"Oh crap. Take the tickets. I'll figure something out."

So, that is why I am painting half the room today. That way I only have half the room to paint on the 26th and only half the room to wait to dry, so the room can be finished for her on her birthday, the 27th!
I still have to find a lamp and some colored bins. We decided against a desk right now because she does her homework at the table.
Well, I'm off to go paint.
I have to get it done by 1pm, We have an errand to run this afternoon!
My Christmas present is ready! WOO HOO!