Monday, October 11, 2010

Just for today.

So much has been on my mind lately, and none of it has anything to do with me directly.
Don't get me wrong we have our "stuff" too, but for what ever reason the world has kinda just rose up and met me.
A lot of my prayers have gone out to people I have never even met, nor personally know. I've just been made aware of them and had a glimpse at the pain they are going through.
Reality begins to feel a little less "large". What are problems for us, everyday hurdles, don't seem so tall. Do you know what I mean?
I was writing a post over the weekend, about my struggle with depression.
I just don't feel like writing it at the present time. It's not that I'm ashamed or afraid or don't want to share, it's just, well, depression sucks and I've lived with it, through it, still have moments with it; so why would I want to give it more time then it actually deserves. OR why would I want to post about it, when clearly it is getting more then it's fair share of time?
I am trying to say that there is enough pain right now. I don't feel like adding to that. I'd rather add happy stuff, good stuff, GREAT stuff!
Except I don't have any great stuff right this second. (I actually giggled when I wrote that.)

What is good:
  1. Visiting with my Mom.
  2. Finding the perfect costume for my son.
  3. Getting to be a part of personal decision.
  4. My daughter getting excited about having her own bible and asking for my favorite verses.
What is happy:
  1. Lingering warmth from the sun.
  2. A dog that loves you even if the hair cut you gave her is a tad bit uneven.
  3. Finding a Caribou gift card stashed in your wallet and the balance left on it is exactly enough for a medium size of your favorite drink.
  4. Hearing that while us girls were out shopping, Father and son played football in the yard dressed in their Vikings jerseys.
  5. Enjoying the peace and quiet at home, and being completely content that doing laundry and cooking dinner really REALLY is enough for that day.
So just for today, that is what I'm going to be concerned about. Just for today, these things are going to be enough. Just for today, I am going to love where I am and what I have.

4 comments:

  1. I love that despite an ongoing struggle with depression you were able to focus on what is good. I too have struggles with depression. One thing that also helps me is to write a weekly blog post called Thankful Thursday. It's a blog meme where we can link up with each other. I find that I'm on the lookout for all that I can be thankful for during the week. Nothing like a change in perspective to brighten my day.

    However, I in no way mean to imply denial of how you feel. But I'm learning to live moment by moment and entrusting my feelings to the Lord. We also have to be real, right?

    Blessings and love,
    Debbie

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  2. And sometimes that is just what we need to do, take one day at a time. I find that if I make big exciting deals out of little stupid stuff, I feel happier. Another thing I've tried... because my hubby suffers from depression... Every morning I take five minutes, leash the dog, and walk around my house/property demanding that satan leave our home and asking God to put a hedge of protection around our home. He is awesome and good. No battle will be lost with Him on our side. Great post, thanks for sharing. blessings, bobbi

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  3. I think those are great things to be happy about!! Especially your girl and her new bible!!!

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  4. Love your happy and good... and yet I do understand it's not all happy and good. Way to look on the bright side in the midst of difficult life.

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