First let me say that I never, I mean never thought I'd be blogging about my boobs.
My boobs are so not my best or most loved feature. As a matter of fact the were the cause of some pretty horrifying teasing in middle school. (back then we still called it junior high.)
In the summer of eighth grade my breasts appeared out of nowhere. The year prior all the other girls were developing, so it was normal. Some girls had more developments then others, but if seemed like it took the whole year for them to change. When I went back to school I was mocked an teased for "stuffing my bra" because apparently nobody believed that it only took me a summer to get breasts. And let me state for the record, mine are small. So who really cared? The teasers cared. I was so upset about it. Why would anyone stuff? I certainly wouldn't. I was uncomfortable with the fact that I now had boobs! Why would I want to act like I had boobs when I really didn't want boobs? (Well, I wanted them, I just wanted them not to ache and hurt so much.) I certainly didn't want the attention they got. I felt bad for the gals with big ones, the boys all plotted and schemed the best way to "accidentally" bump or touch them. Grrr.
I had one teacher, I may have shared this story already, Mrs. Shannon, she was the best teacher ever. She got that boys would be well boys and that us girls needed tenderness. She convinced me to "stuff my bra". I didn't understand. She then explained to me that if that is what people thought I was doing then I should just go for it. Tongue in cheek here. It was the lumpiest, most uneven stuffing ever, there was even some coming out my sleeve all intentional of course; as I came out of the locker room and all the class saw this spectacle they laughed and once they had their good laugh, Mrs. Shannon, bless her sweetheart talked about body changes and the differences in each person body and how and when it changes. She took no grief, she didn't tolerate the silliness. It was perfect. After that class I unloaded my stuffing and I believe several girls apologized to me that day. No boys, but it was enough that my teacher cared enough for me to do that and that the girls acknowledged they'd hurt me.
Boy is that a trip down memory lane!
So I've never been comfortable with my boobs, the only time I liked them was when it came to the point of wearing a bra. Some ladies need their "ladies" supported. The down side to not needing the support is the nipping out that goes on. Horrifying. I remember wanting a strapless dress for prom, but I'd never worn a strapless bra, and they never fit right. So I modified the situation; I put band aids over my nips so they wouldn't show. It worked, I'm not saying I could sell that idea, but it worked.
I've now reached a point where, they are NOT what they used to be.
Who had any idea that your boobs changed throughout your lifetime, this wasn't in the health books I read! I was defiantly thrown a curve when I became pregnant. Now I'd heard they got bigger. I thought that would be a plus. My husband certainly did. But the bigger they got, the more uncomfortable them were, I wore sports bras through both my pregnancies. That was the only thing that felt good. Held tight by stretchy fabric. NOBODY tells you about when your milk comes in. I pumped at the hospital with Butter. They told me to. I never got much. I wanted to try breast feeding, I knew that I probably wouldn't end up doing it long, but at least I could say "I tried it, it wasn't for me." Butter was a horrible latcher, it hurt every time we tried, at one point I pushed the nurse away from me and told her "I was done." She gathered from my tone and phyiscalness that it was best to walk away and never come back. After I got home and no longer had the pump, well, nobody warned me and those were the worst days of my life. I never knew boobs could hurt that bad. With my second, I again wanted to try. He was a snacker. Didn't want to work for the milk. After the first day of trying we quit and he and I were much happier with the bottle. After that I was disappointed to find that after the milk goes away so does the firmness, um that once was there. I'm not talking about breastfeeding firmness, I'm talking about the girls standing at attention like they once did. How is it possibly for my little breasts to sag? But they do.
Now that I'm getting older, I cringe. I saw my mom a few months ago, she went in to have an angiogram.
I caught a glimpse of her "ahem" breasts *blush* and I said out loud "What happened to you nipples?"
I was mostly thinking this in my head, but unfortunately my filter must have been off. I don't remember them looking like that. Then I thought about my own and how much they had changed through my short life time, was that what mine would become?
She laughed at me and said "Welcome to womanhood! You just wait."
Great! Now she was mocking me.
I've never been a big fan of bras. Hate wearing them. They pinch and dig and they are just so uncomfortable to me.
Well maybe you just don't have the right fit?
I've been fitted. Twice. Both of them were wrong and very different in their sizing. Even this:
Failed me. I do not FIT in a 38C. No, I most definitely do NOT fit into a 38C.
Trying things on in the store puts me at a 34/36B comfortably. These boobies do NOT fill a C cup. Not the C cups in stores! Another part of my problem is cost. I refuse to spend more the $20 on a piece of clothing that you wear under other clothing. That is not logical to me.
(I hate swimsuits too for this same reason, little fabric that doesn't cover what you'd like it to cover and yet it costs more then the mu mu?!?!)
I am a loyal brand-er. I like a certain brand and if it fits me, is semi-comfortable I'll be loyal forever.
Unfortunately when my bras break or wear out when I go to replace them I find that my "brand" changed something, and it's not the same fit...grrr.