My New Year's Resolution

I do not like resolutions. It is just a big gigantic way of saying "You failed again! Nice one."So I avoid saying things like this time...I'm gonna...I had the hopes of reading a daily devotional, Beth Moore Breaking Free. Yeh, I read it the first night Dec. 26 and have forgotten every night since. So I moved it to where I keep my coffee...sitting right there, can't MISS it. But I get up and with one eye half open I fumble though making the coffee, and grumble at the thought of reading anything "heavy". Then the day passes and I think through out it...shoot I need to read my devotional...never happens. I crawl in bed and think I should read it NOW, but it's not in here and I'd have to go out to the kitchen to get it and it's SO warm in my bed, I'll do it tomorrow. BLECH!
Pointless, me having a resolution. My only "resolution" is to be closer to God and listen for him to nudge me. If I can do better at that each year then I'm golden. (In my opinion.)
I started making scrapbook for the kids I have 2 completed for Butter, 1 for Roo. They are 6 and in one day 4. I have shoe boxes full of pictures! I hate myself...this irks me to no end, but do I DO something about it? Umm, no I sit and blog. Crippity-crap, I have priority issues.
I get more joy from talking and listening to you all the staring blankly at paper and accessories and trying to make the perfect page that some day the children will presumably ooh and ahh over all my hard work...I am SO dreaming here.
Then Sweet Linda tells us of this 365 picture thing, where you take a picture a day and then at the years end you will see you year in a whole new light...HMMM, I AM curious. I do have a portable camera, but I so don't have the "eye". Have you seen Lisa Leonard's blog? Her pictures are wonderful, simply, sophisticated...mine look like my kids are taking them for me.
I'm not saying I'm gonna...but I will take a picture, maybe it'll lead to 364 more...maybe it'll just be added to the growing shoe boxes or folders on the computer....
Hubby is home all this week...it's Wednesday, I don't FEEL like he's been here all week. My week feels like every other...
On another note I want to share with you the joyful heart I got yesterday.
It was snowing. All day, like someone shook the snow globe, just falling snow. Gorgeous. As long as you weren't driving in it. Then well, nightmare. In the afternoon, while I was seeing what y'all had to say, my friend called me. She needed a favor. Could I pick up her son from a play date she was at least an hour away...NO problamo. She thank, thank, thanked me. It was 4PM. As I was driving to get Mac, I thought well, It'll be dinner time when she gets here...I'll pick up a few chickens, we can sit down and have dinner. I called Pollie. She sounded shocked when she said "Umm, REALLY? Are you serious?"
Well, of COURSE I'm serious.
"Okay." She still sounded shocked. I get to the store and she calls again...She has the girls too, she could bring pizza.
No, I'm at the store. All of you just come! (Their are 6 in their family.)
I am sharing this with not because I am having a "Look at my good deed" moment, but because when Pollie walked into my home last night with her family and I was able to help with no gain to myself I felt this JOYFUL emotion. My heart was FULL. I long to do things for people just because in that moment I can. I come from "suckers and takers" There is NO joy in doing things for them. You don't feel full inside, you feel spent, taken!
So, as I hugged my friend I thought THIS, this moment is what I want MY life to be about. I had the most wonderful time having her family here and feeding them. I hope their bellies weren't the only thing fed. Giving of myself, not for my pride or gain, but because I can help and I KNOW where those opportunities are coming from. I love to be generous.
Did you know that Rob and I began giving 10%?
Maybe not, I'm not sure I spoke of this to you.
We had been giving 3%. It was safe. But our mortgage was through the roof crazy high. It had been on my heart for months...giving more. I'd hear things on blogs...the final straw I guess was about 3 months ago when Pastor spoke of it again. (About 3 times a year it comes around)
So in the car I looked at Rob and said"How much do you Trust God?"
"I trust him completely." He replied.
"Really? Completely? What if we gave 10%? You and I BOTH know that if we gave 10% our bills would not get paid. We would be making a huge mistake in financial terms."
He wasn't liking this conversation.
I continued.
"It would be a COMPLETE leap of faith on our part. God asks us to trust him. He will provide for us, he promises this. He asks us for 10%. We have to obey this."
I added he should pray about. The more I thought about it the more convinced I became.
We took the leap. Since then these little miracles have been popping up.
Our mortgage got reworked. With insurance and taxes written in, which weren't before, we couldn't afford it, we are paying LESS then before. Much less. We have been working on getting a solution for a year now! A YEAR! It took a miracle to "getter done."
Then Rob "remembered" to order cards for his paper route. Tips have been pouring in.
He plays in a fantasy football league. It's his one vice. He always has crappy teams, has more loses then wins every year. He wasn't even suppose to make the playoffs this year but the commissioner of his league made an oops and Rob got in. Not only did he make to the playoffs, he won the WHOLE thing! We are still waiting to hear how much was in the pot. If I had to guess I'm going to say it's enough to buy a new dishwasher because ours just broke on Christmas.
Do ya feel me?
I am shaking my head thinking, WHAT took us SO long to trust Him.
When Rob talks of his win, I say "it's the 10%" Kinda my shout out to God. I do a 10% dance when a bill comes and looky there the banks has the funds. I go to Target and I get the nudge do I need this...I get the gut checks, which I love and when I get to the line...easy-peasy.
There are "things" happening here that have no logic other than Him.
So my new years resolution is TRUST in Him. Doubts be gone...I know there will be bumps or complete veers from the smooth path. Do I trust him? If he can make Rob win in fantasy football, and our mortgage company see reason I'm betting he's going to be there every step of the way.
This got insanely long. It started as a comment for Linda, then it kept going, so I cut and pasted it on my post. Can you imagine having THIS in your comment box! Sheesh!