Paid

"Sara you are obsessed."
Yeah, I know.
"What's with all the music?"
What can I say, it speaks to me. For me. ABOUT me.
"I'm hearing a lot of me(s) in there."
You did ASK.
"True dat. So then go ahead and say what you need to say."
Gee, thanks for the permission, head.

Song that stirs this brokenness...
Am I not pretty enough?
Is my heart too broken?
Do I cry too much?
Am I too outspoken?
Don't I make you laugh?
Should I try it harder?
Why do you see right through me? (Kasey Chambers)

So I turn to others that FILL me up with his Spirit...

For the rescue of us all, That we may live...The glory of it all.
All is lost, find him there. Find him there. (David Crowder Band)

If you are empty and have nothing to give.
If you are discontented with the way that you live.
Or maybe you find it so hard to forgive.
Why don't you lay it down. (Cheryl Keaggy)

Foolish heart, looks like we're here again.
Same old game of plastic smiles, don't let anybody in.
Hiding my heartache. Will this glass house break?

You see the real me
hiding in my skin
broken from with in

Shadows of shattered dreams
They've followed me,
they've haunted me
But you've taken the broken pieces of my life and helped me to believe. (Natalie Grant)

When the morning feels like war
Unbreakable
Don't you wish you were unbreakable(Weight of the world~Clay Aiken)

Breathe in breathe out
tell me all of your doubt
that everyone bleeds this way, just the same (Mat Kearney)

Precious Lord, take my hand
lead me on
help me stand
I am tired
I am weak
I am worn (Selah)

I can see a light that is coming
for the heart that holds on

oh no you never let go
Through the calm and through the storm (Matt Redman)

Lord,
I am broken. I am weak. and I want to holler about the pain.
The bible tells me that you are the Spirit; and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.(2 Corinthians 3:17)
I ask that today you will satisfy all my longings and fill the hollow places with Your lavish, unfailing love so the I am freed from craving from others to fill my cup.
Forgive me that I sulked and whined instead of coming first to You. My Redeemer. Forgive me that I still have trouble showing mercy. Jesus, YOU paid all for me. I am crimson stained and you washed me white as snow. I will praise you, the one who paid my debt and raised me from the dead.
In your holy name Jesus.
Amen.