Tuesday, March 31, 2009


I am going to be busy for I'm not sure how long...
We got news yesterday that Rob's uncle was found dead in his home. My MIL Tonya needed to fly home from Florida and got in very late last night. We are not sure at this time when Dad will be able to drive the RV back he is waiting on a part to fix the slide out and then it is a two day trip home and that is in good weather. I believe a friend is flying down to ride back with him.
Mom is taking it hard, it is all on her to take care of things. And she must do it without Dad for now.
So I have been a busy bee trying to anticipate things I can do for her so doesn't even need to think about them, that they are just done. It's hard. I want to do so much more...if only God gave me the power to read minds...fish out those thoughts and make them happen. (Not all the time, just in crisis.)
Brought her food. Check.
Cleaned up the place. Check.
Turned the water back on. Check.
Gassed up the car. Check.
Making sure she has dinner ready for her. Check.
Can anyone think of anything else?
It's now a wait and see game. Wait on the autopsy. Wait on the arrangements. Wait wait wait.
What to do with his things, house, did he have papers...he had a dog, that is now Moms.
Prayers would be so welcomed.
Rob is doing. (I say doing because that's what he does. He plugs along the best he can.)
We are hoping that for Moms sake Steven will come home. (The brother out in Seattle) But that hasn't been brought up either. Mom needs her boys to be there for her. She is the one who will have to be the strength to her step-mom (G'ma) and her sister Bonnie...but mom needs her boys...
What is hardest for me, and I can say this here: I am afraid that Michael wasn't a Christian. He lived a hard life, he battled with alcoholism, lost his teaching job because of it. It drove a wedge between he and the family.In recent pat he's had other health issues, and I believe he'd been sober for awhile. I just don't know about his faith, and that is what is the hardest thing for me.
I can't say "He's in a better place." or "He is in heaven rejoicing today." I can't SAY that.
So I'm left with "I'm so sorry for your loss..." Which is TRUE but what's true (r) I'm sorry for HEAVEN'S loss. And now I must sit in church and listen to them speak of this man, and give scripture and make statements that may or may not be TRUE. And THAT for me is the saddest thing. The THING I grieve over. Not that he is gone from earth, but that he may be GONE forever. And what brings this all the more in my face: My family. Mother. Father. Sister. I KNOW they are not Christians. I pray everyday, for their salvation. Will I be posting other LOSS?
Oh, my heart just BREAKS to think they missed IT. It was there RIGHT there and all they had to do was say "I believe" and they missed it, or walked away, or never looked back.
DAMN the devil! Damn him for holding them back and breaking them down and stirring the pot, and needling the wounds so that they can't SEE straight into the light.
I am SO grateful to have had my eyes opened and my heart cleansed and I am so HONORED that I can say "He died so that I may live. I am BLESSED."
I wish I could say that for everyone I know. But we have choices...he lets us choose.
So, now what advice can you offer? Have you ever been like this?


  1. Oh, Sara, I'm so sorry to hear that your family is going through this hard time. It seems like you're handling things for your MIL just fine.
    I don't really have any advice to give other than to continue to pray for your family members and for other folks who don't know Him....who have rejected His gift of Salvation.
    Thinking of you and praying!!

    P.S. I tried to comment on your birthday post yesterday, but it failed like 3 times. Just wanted to say that I'm happy you had such a great day!!! The mug is super cute!

  2. I am so sorry. I've never been in this position so I don't have any words except I'll be praying for your family.

  3. ugg. BIG ugg. personally i haven't been here but i know times in the past i just didn't let my mind go to that point of admitting the reality of the person's eternity. it's almost too much to bear. i do know that we should think more that way NOW as we have the chance to say something and be a light in their world. no advice, just sympathy! hugs to you girl.

  4. I am very sorry for your family. It really does stink big time about the uncertainty of his eternity. That's right girl, get mad at the devil, he is the master of deceit and he is the one that uses every thing at his disposal to keep people from Jesus, because he knows that's what hurts our beloved God most of all. Damn the Devil and his power of persuasion. But, "Greater is He that is in me than He that is in the world", praise God our Saviour is greater than the devil, he defeated death and sin, and by golly we are going to fight the devil over your family, and prayer is the weapon of choice! Pray, pray, pray! Praise God He snatched you away from the devil, haha devil, you didn't get Sara, neener, neener, neener! Sorry just got a little off track there. God bless you as you minister to your mil.


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