I am going to be busy for I'm not sure how long...
We got news yesterday that Rob's uncle was found dead in his home. My MIL Tonya needed to fly home from Florida and got in very late last night. We are not sure at this time when Dad will be able to drive the RV back he is waiting on a part to fix the slide out and then it is a two day trip home and that is in good weather. I believe a friend is flying down to ride back with him.
Mom is taking it hard, it is all on her to take care of things. And she must do it without Dad for now.
So I have been a busy bee trying to anticipate things I can do for her so doesn't even need to think about them, that they are just done. It's hard. I want to do so much more...if only God gave me the power to read minds...fish out those thoughts and make them happen. (Not all the time, just in crisis.)
Brought her food. Check.
Cleaned up the place. Check.
Turned the water back on. Check.
Gassed up the car. Check.
Making sure she has dinner ready for her. Check.
Can anyone think of anything else?
It's now a wait and see game. Wait on the autopsy. Wait on the arrangements. Wait wait wait.
What to do with his things, house, did he have papers...he had a dog, that is now Moms.
Prayers would be so welcomed.
Rob is doing. (I say doing because that's what he does. He plugs along the best he can.)
We are hoping that for Moms sake Steven will come home. (The brother out in Seattle) But that hasn't been brought up either. Mom needs her boys to be there for her. She is the one who will have to be the strength to her step-mom (G'ma) and her sister Bonnie...but mom needs her boys...
What is hardest for me, and I can say this here: I am afraid that Michael wasn't a Christian. He lived a hard life, he battled with alcoholism, lost his teaching job because of it. It drove a wedge between he and the family.In recent pat he's had other health issues, and I believe he'd been sober for awhile. I just don't know about his faith, and that is what is the hardest thing for me.
I can't say "He's in a better place." or "He is in heaven rejoicing today." I can't SAY that.
So I'm left with "I'm so sorry for your loss..." Which is TRUE but what's true (r) I'm sorry for HEAVEN'S loss. And now I must sit in church and listen to them speak of this man, and give scripture and make statements that may or may not be TRUE. And THAT for me is the saddest thing. The THING I grieve over. Not that he is gone from earth, but that he may be GONE forever. And what brings this all the more in my face: My family. Mother. Father. Sister. I KNOW they are not Christians. I pray everyday, for their salvation. Will I be posting other LOSS?
Oh, my heart just BREAKS to think they missed IT. It was there RIGHT there and all they had to do was say "I believe" and they missed it, or walked away, or never looked back.
DAMN the devil! Damn him for holding them back and breaking them down and stirring the pot, and needling the wounds so that they can't SEE straight into the light.
I am SO grateful to have had my eyes opened and my heart cleansed and I am so HONORED that I can say "He died so that I may live. I am BLESSED."
I wish I could say that for everyone I know. But we have choices...he lets us choose.
So, now what advice can you offer? Have you ever been like this?