Friday, April 24, 2009

The one where I talk to the cat.

Hello miss Thang. (Tabitha)
I know you are feeling pretty sassy and proud today.
I certainly wouldn't want to rain on your nap parade either, but it seems that you've forgotten some house rules and I'm here to remind you, lest you find yourself banished from your cozy home.
You see we have a curfew. You may not go gallivanting around after dark.
We also have a NO Hunting rule. Which you have plainly broken.
There is a NO DEAD animal in the house rule.
Again clearly BROKEN.
Do you remember last summer when you brought something in the house and hid it. Only to be found months later in a disgusting state of rotting!?!?!
What were my exact words to you?
I do recall them being: "You do that again and I WILL find you a new home."
I don't make idle threats. You know this; you've watched as Gabby, Kadie and Cassie all found themselves outed from this house and banished forever.
Granted Cassie did make a brief appearance but then decided that freedom on the road was better then our house rules.
I am angry with you cat. How dare you chow down on the head of a bunny when you are most properly and WELL fed here. You get 1/2 of moist food, one scoop of dry AND You get your share of chicken,fish, steak and pork, just like the dog. I can't help it if you don't like peanut butter...thems the breaks.
There will be no more night wanderings. You are grounded.
And the next "thing" I find dead in my house better be you, because if it ain't you'll wish you were when I get done finding you proper housing!
Oh, and Just so you know, for the rest of the day if I catch you napping I will pick you up and throw you outside. I believe rain is expected and I know how much you hate being in the rain. Watch yourself kitten, You've made me very very angry AND sick to my stomach.
You get no more chances. This is your LAST warning.
Your Mama.

For the rest of you: I am now leaving my computer room until hubby gets home and disinfects it. It appalls and sickens me to know I am inches from a headless bunny. I think I'm going to go barf now. Seriously.


  1. So sorry!!! We used to have a beloved cat, but then I found out she was the reason our other cats and their kittens were disappearing. She sliced the throat of one of the kittens and left it on out porch.
    I didn't let Don shoot her,but she figured out soon enough she had better start hunting for a new home because I couldn't bear looking at her!

  2. yikes!!!! I think you should give the cat and it's "treasure" to the mail man! :)

  3. oh my, that's disgusting! i am so thankful right now that our cat is an indoor cat! i saw a neighbor cat carrying around a dead, baby opossum the other day. poor oppossum!!!

  4. I'm laughing out loud because I think your cat has been talking to my cat...except my treasures haven't been dead. That's right, have you ever tried to catch a baby chimpmunk, almost impossible!!! Maybe I need to set some house rules!

  5. My chihuahua killed a baby bunny :( - I was so sad! I didn't talk to her for like three days for that one.

  6. i don't know if it is sad or okay that i BUST up laughing at the expense of a dead rabbit. this post was hilarious. and hmm, very familiar sounding!


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