Saturday, October 10, 2009

What I saw and where I'm at.

We woke up to this:
Yes, that is snow. It is Early October and it snowed. Back in 1991, we had a blizzard on Halloween. I remember it not because I couldn't go trick or treating but because it was my last day of behind the wheel training. My instructor taught me how to "whip donuts." It was AWESOME.

Do you want to know how I spent my morning?

I searched for two hours to find the mittens, hats and snow pants. Seems that I over did myself with the organizing last spring. Do you know how grating a 6 year old and a 4 year old can be when they see snow on the ground, the first snow they've seen in just (It hurts to even say this.)

five months. We only had a handful of days at the beach this year. I got an email from our favorite apple orchard saying they lost all the apples and pumpkins. (The you pick yourself ones)

It isn't even worth the hour drive now.

Things also did not go as we would have like when we finally sat down to talk with Rob's parents. It would have been sooner but they went out of town right after it happened, so last night was our first opportunity. Some things came out from Rob's mom that will take me some time to work through. Please pray for me. I was up nearly all night praying and talking to God, asking for his direction, grieving, feeling like the problem, feeling like I am the one standing between my Husband and his once close, happy family. I told Rob I feel like if we got a divorce his family could be happy again. If I were to die his family would be as it was...you know, before I came into it and caused such disruption. I am NOT suicidal, I have no intention of dwelling on those thoughts. I told Rob that for me, SAYING my thoughts out loud strips them of there power. If I share what is in my head and heart then the deceiver can not use them against me, or keep them secret. I just ask that you pray for me, I've been praying for God to show me when my pride is getting in the way and when I need to give things over to Him instead of clinging and dwelling.

Thank you in advance.

Now I'd like to share what made me SMILE today:


Roo with no mittens eating snow! In two months I'll have to beg the kids to go outside and bribe them with the promise of hot chocolate! But for now I sent them out in spring jackets, their sweatshirt hoods and NO mittens one without snow pants. (Note to self: Buy Butter snow pants!) By the time Rob finally found them the snow had melted! Go figure! Oh and just a reminder I am doing a giveaway! Go here and check it out.

5 comments:

  1. I can not believe it snowed already! yikes!!! I'd be packin for florida!

    praying for you girl. for wisdom, truth, and unity between you and your husband.

    ((((hugs))))

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  2. wow- snow. I have to say that I am a fan, but understand the shock of it so early!
    Gee, sounds like you are dealing with some heavy stuff- NOT fun. Hope that God will work in all hearts to bring about unity again.

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  3. That snow is unbelievable!! Sorry to hear about the pumpkin patch though - those are some of my favorite fall things to do. Praying for unity in your family...

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  4. you know sara, it took me several years in my marriage to realize my husband's family was just as messed up as mine. and to quit feeling like i was "ruining him". i think understanding the true meaning of cleaving is important. and knowing in my heart no matter how insecure i feel at times or frustrated my dreams of perfect unity won't ever happen that it's okay.

    i just want to encourage you to focus that energy and attention towards your immediate family. we might never be exactly who our inlaws wish we were and if anything...its a great lesson for the future in how we treat our DIL/SIL.

    chin up. God is obviously doing something and it can all be for GOOD and for His glory!

    hugs to you today!

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  5. Maybe you're not the problem. Maybe you're the catalyst for change. Don't be afraid to let God use you. It's all for His Glory and our good.

    The snow? I'm SO not ready. No seriously, not ready, I can't remember which box the electric blankets are in, in the storage garage. But I DO remember the cords are not in the same box. Mercy.

    Blessings, C~

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