Since I can't go picking...

I really wanted to go strawberry picking today. I've got some plants in the garden and we pick about 8-10 strawberries a day, and they are SO yummy. But they don't even make it into the house, let alone have enough to make jam. I haven't made jam in three years. I think it's because it was a long messy process, but the time has faded my memory and all that remains is the yearning for that sweet, summer taste on lightly toasted bread. I am nearly convinced that once I start the jam, it'll come back why I haven't made it in three years! Something to do with humidity and standing over a boiling pot of water...
It hasn't been nearly as humid though...
Anyhoo, it decided to rain today, since sugar melts in the rain I can't go outside; ME=Sweet=sugar+rain= melts. ha ha, ah ha. Rob says "You're funny; just ask you". You know, I really don't think I like water. Of any kind, unless it's clear and in a glass full of ice. (American ice) I have heard things about ice in different countries. Not that I've ever been OUT of this country, well Hawaii but technically it's still part of the United States so I could have fruity drinks and be ok. Or was it the alcohol that kept me safe? Now I'm confused, you can have ice with alcohol and not get sick or all ice will make you sick regardless of alcohol content?
WOW, that was random. Back to jelly, I mean jam...sheesh, I am not going to get started on jelly. That could lead this post to an R rating. Jelly er O and jiggly parts, nope I'm not going there!
Water and I have this common bond, I don't go IN it and it stays OFF of me. I like to admire it from afar, sometimes not on a boat, if there's waves, I get sick from the motion. Leading me to avoid all other forms of motion inducing sickness: roller coasters, tilt-a-whirls, riding in backseats...
I fear the UNseeABLE. Sharks, fish, bottoms! Of the sandy, muck kind NOT bare kind. Then again if one was to sit in the sandy I could be referring to them...but I'm not. I'm keeping it G rated.
All this rain has sprouted a forest of mushrooms in my backyard. I learned that: you must find the rotting matter and remove the entire underground colony to get rid of the 'shrooms. Um, I'm allergic to spores. I won't be going NEAR them. Instead I like to send my husband out with rubber gloves, if only we had a bulldozer and some fresh sod!
While the mushrooms are blooming, maybe this rain will wash away my bug visitors from my lettuce, which I shall admit I ate last night. It didn't matter that I had my husband mix in MY lettuce with a bag of lettuce from the store and that I used an extreme amount of dressing, it still tasted, um, not normal. I kept chewing and chewing hoping that I wouldn't come across a crunch that shouldn't have been there. No, I won't be eating anymore of that lettuce.
 Anyone want a mushroom and lettuce salad? I got some FRESH supplies for ya?
I think I'll go and get my jars in order, at least that way when  I do make the jam, I'll have something to put it in.