Say no to lettuce!

I spent to good portion of the afternoon yesterday cleaning lettuce. And by good portion I mean three hours. Ever since we moved to this house 5 years ago, I've had this hair-brained idea of wanting a garden. What else could be better then home-grown beans, peas, lettuce, tomatoes, herbs?
My garden has moved about five times. Every year I think "Why did I put it there? I should have put it there..."
Then there was the year I found a huge spider in the garden, after checking online it told me that normally the spider was fine but just don't get bite from it, Hello it's in my garden! How am I suppose to pick things?
Last year we had wasps build a nest in the ground near the garden, turns out the wasps that do that are highly aggressive ones. Grrrrrr.
So THIS year I think to myself, what about a free standing container garden?
I buy the container at a mighty fine price, I buy the organic manure, garden soil and top soil. I want my plants to LOVE their home. I bought lettuce (two kinds), cucumbers, beans, pea pods, chives, parsley mojito basil and tomatos. We had a frost that took out the cucs, tomatoes and beans. I replaced them. Then the bunnies found the lettuce, I let the cat out at night, no more bunnies. Yesterday I went to pick lettuce, it's time, their were some huge bunches. As I'm picking them I notice these tiny green bugs. Aphids it turns out. I do what I do when I don't know something, I go on the Internet. I google and bing washing lettuce. I spent three hours washing my lettuce in vinegar, in salt water, in ice water, patting dry, salad spinning...and every single time I checked the water; aphids. Finally I bagged the lettuce and put it in the fridge. I don't plan on eating it. Rob said "A little extra protein won't kill you."
GROSS! Why does he think I don't eat fish or venison? Because I KNOW where that comes from. (Yes I do know where beef and chicken come from... the meat department of the grocery store!)
I can't do it. All I will be able to think about is those nasty little blend-in green bugs crawling on the lettuce. YUCK!
I plan to dig out all my lettuce today. I'm done with lettuce, no more lettuce in my garden. I'll stick to the beans and peas, and if I get spiders or bees this year, it'll be the prettiest annual garden on the whole block next year!