Friday, July 30, 2010

Month's end

I have been discontent lately. I know why; it's the end of the month, lots going on.
I know it's coming, I just wish I could get into one of those fancy yoga poses and "om" it away.
No, I haven't been back to yoga class, but I have been practicing at home.
Maybe my mood came in with the clouds. I opened the shades today to see a gray/grey sky outside.
{off topic: How do you spell gray/grey? Why?}
It's Friday. There should be horns and whistles and streamers falling from the ceiling right?
I read some heavy posts today. Posts that wear stunningly accurate and painfully convicting.

"Some people are perceived as "stuck up," when really they are just uncomfortable meeting new people."
There is more where that came from: here

This week I went to dinner with a dear group of ladies. We were once a small group studying God's word together. As life took us our separate ways we continue to get together when we can. It is always a blast. We pick right up again where we last left off. It feels good. Lately, I've been feeling like I have nothing to offer. My life is pretty much the same. Little things change here and there. They will ask a question and my answer is "The same." Because that hasn't changed.
Does that mean I haven't changed?
Does that mean I'm stuck and stubborn and unyielding?
It doesn't feel like that. I feel at peace with the things that don't change. I feel like I'm doing good, that there isn't drama and stuff to add. I feel like I've finally grown to the point where as the blogger above said at the end of her post: You can love from a distance.
That's how I feel: If someone chooses to not get to know me, really know me. Well, I can't make them like me, I won't force myself on them. I can love them from a distance. And though I may not have things to talk about with that person or  wish to see that person, that doesn't mean I have ill feelings toward the person. My friends, know me. Family members not so much. They like to think they do. Anyway, I hate feeling judged. And I feel that more with "family" then with friends. Why is that?
I thought family was suppose to be there for you, friends come and go and all that...
What I like about getting together is hearing about everyone else! I have some amazing mentors right in my grasp, I want to hear what their wisdom is. Take it in, soak my bones in it, wrap it around me like a blanket. These are Godly women, positive forces. They know me, my heartaches, my flaws, my strengths. My insecurities are getting the best of me these days. I won't go into detail, but it's the end of the month and there is lots going on...


  1. It is good when "good" things don't change! Not everyone needs or should have constant drama in their life. Trust me, it's no fun. I have people that tell me my life makes them appreciate their own. How's that for a poke-yourself-in-the-eye calling! : )

  2. I'm with Jill. Drama is over-rated. Give me a good book and a glass of iced tea.... Some of us are 'talkers' and some are 'listeners'. I've always been more of a listener and not too many know a whole lot about me. It's cause I'm busy listening. Blogging is fun and fulfilling because you can finally share your thoughts, feelings and musings with... whoever "cares" to listen. lol. I'm new to this... but I sure am finding a lot of wonderful people out there... loved reading your post! be blessed, bobbi p.s. i like eating dessert first also!

  3. I am so glad you have a group of ladies like that..where you can be yourself and know they will still love you, encourage you and build into you!!! we all need that!


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