Candy bribe

I used to justify buying costumes for Halloween by thinking: They get to wear them a few times.
The kids got to dress up for school, and of course if Halloween fell on a weekend it meant a day of driving around trick or treating at family members houses.
This year I was stumped. Money has been extremely tight, and I am already thinking and pricing and plotting and planning and paying for, nickle by sweet shiny nickle, Christmas and two very special birthdays.
We get triple whammy within one week.
So I apologize (to my children) if Halloween costumes aren't a priority this year. Adding to how I feel, we got wind that costumes were no longer going to be worn at school for the "harvest festival." Hmpf!
Okay, I do understand this, there are parents that let their kids put on scary, inappropriate costumes and think that it's okay. Or let them bring real xacto knifes in their tool belts. (true story)
I fall into: It's dress up. princesses, and fireman, fairies and superheros. Cute little Scooby Doos and Elmos. But not everybody wants to be a cute little kitty or an adorable lion.
My son wanted to be a skeleton. Not a scary one, a smiling one because he likes bones.
My daughter saw this pumpkin costume at Walmart. She has been set on THAT one for weeks!
I know what you are thinking, ah, that's cute she wants to be a pumpkin...
No, this costume is a pair of fishnets and big hair away from being inappropriate for a 7 year old. Then again I think 'Toddlers and Tiara's is ridiculous, with their "flipper" teeth, hair extensions and mini skirt mid-drift showing dresses. ( a flipper is like a mouth guard; they put in their mouth to make it look like they have straight perfect white teeth and they cost a fortune.) Okay, I saw an episode, Butter was watching and after that I blocked the show.
The straps comes off the shoulders...or so I thought from the picture. It actually is way too low cut.

It was at this time my son asked if he could "get this" and held up a giant bag of Kit Kats, Milk Duds, Reeses PB cups and Rolos.
My first instinct was "No!"
Then I stopped myself, this could be an opportunity...
I looked at my husband, the slutty pumpkin costume and back at my son.
"Sure..."
 it was coming together...
"Roo, is that the candy you'd like for Halloween?"
I had worded it just right.
He stared at me in disbelief. And nodded.
"Okay, great! Butter, why don't you pick the candy you would like?"
She heard something in my voice, she is clever...
"So, I get to pick a bag of candy?"
I nodded "Um hmmm."
"And Nick gets to pick a bag of candy?"
"Yep."
"But are we still getting the costumes?"
Darn it she caught on fast!
"No. If you choose the bag of candy, it's yours the WHOLE bag. That would be your treats. If you choose the costume you don't get the bag of candy."
"But we get candy when we trick or treat!" She said confidently.
I had to save this, I was crashing and burning; my plan flaming out.
Roo was clutching the bag of candy, his eyes wild trying to keep up. He wanted the candy. I must convince the girl.
"Butter, you remember how last year you got mostly Reese's peanut butter cups. You hate peanut butter. And Roo didn't want to trade candy, so you ended up not having as many treats. I remember you even cried about it." (shame on me for that, but I was just trying to get her to see reason.)
"So."
Rob had finally caught on. He asked "So, you want to buy them a bag of candy and not go trick or treating this year?"
I stared at him. Did he have to say it like I was the Grinch?!?!
I spoke in a death whisper to him "Two huge bags of candy would be like buying one costume!"
Nick dropped his bag of candy right where he stood and tucked in behind his dad.
"So we're not going trick or treating this year!?" Butter howled.
Darn it all!
"That is NOT what I said. I simply said if you'd like to pick your bag of candy there would be no need to go trick or treating since you chose the treats you most liked."
I'm not sure who was more upset Rob or the kids.
We left the store that day without costume or candy.

I heard it from Rob for two days. Then I got the call from the grandparents. They wanted to take the kids to the boo zoo, a safe alternative to trick or treating. The kids trick or treat in the zoo and all the staff dresses like animals. I said "You know they need costumes for that right?" They didn't know that and they'd already told the kids about it.
So off I went to get the costumes. Roo ended up with two because I had found a skeleton, glow in the dark pair of pajamas and we were going to have my Mom (who is a clown) paint his face cute. But she wasn't going to be around this day, and he needed a costume and of course he had one in mind.
Butter got her pumpkin costume, but I Rob found glitter leggings for it and I made sure I found a black sweatshirt to go under the top.
I guess that's what I get for offering a candy bribe to children. Bah humbug!
You don't think I'd leave out a picture do you?

This was just before the boo zoo, I think I might have my mom paint Butter's face, I think it would make it more girlie. (I really hate that "dress", look how low it's cut.) Roo chose a costume he had already been two years ago, he wore it so much it ripped, he's never forgotten or forgiven me for throwing it out. Curses Halloween! Three costume in one year!