Monday, October 25, 2010


So this weekend the car decided to die. We were at Panera having soup, I could think of worst places to be stuck.
I said to my husband, who; I like to remind everyone is the mechanic in the household, I said "Babe, I think the battery is dead."
"Nah, it's only two years old." He says while he's popping the hood. The minivan guy next to us says "Hey, you need a jump?"
Hubby says "Do you have cables? We don't have cables."
"No, I don't." He goes back to sitting in his minivan and waits for his wife to come back.
It's taking to long, so I get out and look under the hood. I see the battery is covered in "gunk" and I ask "What's all that stuff?"
"The posts are corroded."
I look at him, I don't say anything, because now would not be the time, but in my head I'm thinking if anything in my house looked that nasty we'd have rats, not mice; RATS.
I ask "Should I call your dad?"
He was waiting for someone else to come along with cables.
I call his dad, who only lives minutes away and could have been there by now.
Then magically "Macho Man" appears.
"Looks like you guys need a jump."
Oh we do Macho Man we do!
This guys' neck is as big as my thigh, and my thighs are like tree trunks; not 100 year old oak trunks but maybe a 5 year maple sapling. His arms are huge! He is wearing a sleeveless shirt which may or may not have been appropriate attire for our weather. His arms each had tattoos going around them, I mean the guy looked like a tank. A big macho tank, which is what you'd want to come save you in battle I mean from soup at Panera's.
He feels free to make an observation: "Looks like you're gonna need some tires soon."
Hubby answers "Yeah, like yesterday. Just isn't in the budget right now."
Macho Man looks at me in the car, I can smell what he's cookin'. (That is a shout out to the Rock, my favorite wrestler, I stopped watching when he became an actor, wait he always was an actor, um I stopped watching wrestling when the Rock stopped being a wrestler.)
He was saying: Lady, really, this guy is a schmuck. Take your car in and have it looked at.
I ask if I should call his Dad back.
Uh, yes I did holler that out the window where Macho Man could here me ask if he wanted me to call His Dad.
Macho Man then gave my man the once over, I think I saw him chuckle.
The car starts, Macho Man takes back his cables and Hubby thanks him.
I watch as Macho Man gets in his pristine big black monster truck and rumble away.
Hubby gets in and I burst out laughing.
"What? What is so funny?"
"I think you need some new tires." I say doing my impression of Macho Man.
Rob finds no humor in it. "He said 'it looks like you will need new tires soon.' He didn't say we needed new tires."
"It's one word, and it still means we need tires and a battery!"
"We don't need a battery, I'll clean it off and charge it over night."
"Because it's only 4 years old right?"
He gives me one of those looks, like women shouldn't talk of things they don't know...
I start giggling again and add: "And you had to wear a pink shirt today?"
Rob looks down and gets defensive "You bought me this shirt! And it's not pink it's watermelon!"
(That is exactly the words I used when I bought it and he called it pink.)
"Yeah, but Macho Man only saw a guy with a hoopty car wearing a pink shirt eating at Panera, what kinda of impression do you think he has of you?"
I completely lost it, I was laughing so hard I was crying. He did eventually find the humor in it and he also eventually said I was right because it was the stinking battery and it was old, in fact it was at least 5 years old.
Now if the tire fairy would visit I won't have to defend my pink shirt wearing husband anymore!

1 comment:

  1. LOL at 5 year sapling!!

    I have a pink shirt-wearing husband too...although somehow he is also pretty macho and handy at the same time!


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