It can only get better.

They call me Sara. That is my name. I am not sure why my mother chose it. Why from all the other names she chose for me, Sara.
I am thankful it is not Martha...(after a  great grandmother)

Sara is Hebrew meaning princess.
I certainly do not feel like a princess, I do not live a princess life and I do not walk around wearing a crown. Though I did grow up feeling like having a crown would get me love, affection and adoration, like it did the countless queens and princesses that won the pageants my parents ran. I never did win one, I did win best party dress though. :0)

In my one and only "drama" skit for our church I played one of the sisters in the story about Mary and Martha. The two are very different, and when Jesus comes for a visit, Mary sits at Jesus' feet and listens to him and his teaching, Martha, on the other hand, is busy doing all the work.
She asks Jesus "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her to help me!" ~Luke 10:40

Jesus tells Martha " Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."~Luke 10:41


I can relate to Martha; when there is so much to do, it just isn't natural to stop. Listen. I can relate to her annoyance in her sister, Martha feels like she must now do it all, shoulder the weight; and she doesn't think that's fair.
Now that I think about it Martha should have been my name.
I go about my life fastidiously doing the work on my to-do list and really can't won't be bothered when there is so much to do.
I can't take time to listen if God might be telling me something, that takes so long, and I need to hurry up, get on with it...go go go.

There really never is quiet. Think about that for a second, how often do you sit, sit still, with no sound, no radio, no television, no person chatting in the background. We are constantly plugged in, wired up, online, wifi~ed, bluetooth~ed.
It takes effort to quiet your surroundings, it takes even more effort to quiet your mind.

My pastor once said women are like computers, there is ALWAYS several windows open and more waiting to "bing" in. It can be a window that hasn't been opened in years and "bing" suddenly she's reliving that night her parents called her trash because she wore a short skirt on a date.
My mind is never at rest.

I don't know how to be anything other than what I've been. I know I need to make changes. I want to make changes. I am easy to anger, but thankfully with God's delicate pruning I am quick to say I'm sorry.
I make stupid judgments. (Seriously, does that person know how to park? Maybe they should trade in the mammoth SUV and get a car that fits...) And now, I can also feel the sting when I hear a judgment being made in my presence. (A comment about an outfit, big head, what have you, even if it's a person on television.)
I am learning to be more forgiving. And sometimes forgiving means ending a relationship because no healing can come from continued hurt.

Let the journey continue, it can only get better from here.