Saturday, May 12, 2012

Motherhood (how I see it)

It is Mother's day, usually spent celebrating your own mother or being a mother...
I think about why I hate being a mother, now before you go and make judgments about what I just said keep reading it's not what you might be thinking.
From the earliest memory, I wanted to be a mommy. When I got pregnant we prayed for a healthy baby. When we brought our girl home, they let us. I mean they just let two random people who had very little experience with a newborn take her and assume she would be okay!
While she was little it was easy keeping her safe, we would just put her in a pack and play or in her crib, nice and safe. Then the walking started and suddenly you had to be on high alert at all time...nobody told us about that part.
As the years pass, nobody tells you about worrying about whether they will make friends in school, be good students, and find learning easy.

Butter was invited to a swim/slumber birthday party at a hotel just this weekend. When we got the invite I was very hesitant to let her go at all, I lightened up and said she could go for a few hours, but no to the sleep over. First, we had never met the child, second, we had never met the parents and third, I have a fear of bedbugs...

Nobody told me, when I gave birth to my daughter that I would have to face these slumber party issues? Trusting other parents with my child...praying they are not sicko perverts.
I hate that about being a mother, it makes me look at everyone as a potential pedophile. I hate being a mother that asks 20 questions of people that come in regular contact with my children to gage whether or not they have the same views/values on parenting as we do, most people understand...others have their own sense of what is appropriate, like drinking with friends while you are throwing a swim/slumber birthday party for your child...

I hate being a mother when I have to tell my kids tough stuff, like getting cancer, or dying, or how their friends aren't really their friends if they call them names and act mean to them.
I hate being a mother, when I have to hear about my child getting bullied at school and knowing this is only the beginning.
I hate being a mother and having to explain things like shaving to my 9 year old daughter, because she is already feeling gross about hair on her legs and I still see her as my sweet chubby cheeked baby girl who can't possibly be old enough to care about how her legs look!
This is the same girl who hates being told to brush her teeth at least twice a day! Nobody told us that hairy legs would be more of a bother then bad breath! What?!
Nobody told us about the talks I'd have to have with my 7 year old son about not collecting money for watching the neighbor girl, who happens to be a pastors daughter, dance. That what he is in fact doing is "pimping" and that,my friends,is definitely something I hate about being a mother! And NObody tells you about the conversations you'll have to have about penis' and what the do and how its a private thing...
Or "I don't care what so and so does, says, wears, buys...I am your Mother and in this house we..."

When you first become a mother, you feel like all your hopes and all your dreams have come true, but what I hate about becoming a mother is all too soon they are grown.
All too soon, they are walking and talking, going to school, driving, going off to college, getting married...having babies, and it all happens in a blink of an eye! Only your eyes still see them as they did that first time you laid eyes upon their sweet innocent, beautiful faces.
I don't really hate being a mother, actually I love every aching moment of it. There is no greater privilege, no greater joy and no greater heart-ache; then being a mother.
There is nothing I'd rather be.

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