Thursday, April 4, 2013

{Just Write} Cause there is no title for this ramble.

No, I haven't falling off the Earth. Some days I really wish I were that hard to find. LOL
And to say "I've been busy..." just doesn't seem honest enough. I mean aren't we all busy? Things pull us this way and that and before we know it time has gotten away from us. Or I am getting incredibly good at procrastinating! Take this blog, last time I posted was February 20. What? An entire month has gone by!
March was crazy. If you follow me on Instagram or Twitter you know we took a family road trip. And it was AWESOME!
Come to think of it, don't follow me on twitter, I basically use it to stalk my English Muffin, so most of my tweets hashtag him. It's sad that a 39 year has "Get a tweet from..." on her bucket list! And since he's English my chances of ever seeing him in concert or "bumping into" him are slim to none. I don't even have a passport people! So getting a tweet, yeah that also would be AWESOME.
Something else AWESOME: Hubs has a review coming at work...he has worked really hard this last year and his job is shifting in the way he had hoped. I am so proud of him and so grateful to God for the blessing.
I turned 39 in March. My kids love to tell me how close I am to 40...and I of course make a big deal about not wanting to talk about it. But honestly I'm looking forward to what the next decade has in store for me and well my body. Am I right ladies? Crazy how time changes us good and bad. Just when we start thinking "Hey, I kinda like this body..." something weird pops up and you're like "Oh, what is that now? can't I just live with the wrinkles for now, why does this have to come along?"
I'm noticing age spots on my hands. Hands never lie. They see the most sun, the most work and get the most abuse. Sigh.
Speaking of sun; we spent one glorious week soaking it up in Florida. Next year we are planning to spend two weeks down there. I came home completely depleted because I took in every moment like it was treasure. I don't want to look back and say we should have done this or why didn't we do that?
Money comes and goes and there is never enough, but enough to us isn't faith. I've learned that God does provide and sometimes we hesitate because we don't believe He will provide, so we miss the opportunity to be blessed. Our road trip was all about taking that chance and receiving a blessing.
I love watching how God works in and through each of us. I have learned to relax a little in my faith.
Through my twenties and into my thirties I felt like I wasn't good enough. I wasn't worthy of grace. We are always hardest on ourselves. I am becoming okay with my flaws. Embracing them and leaning into God to allow change to happen, instead of wanting to do all the changing myself. As if I ever could! That is where youth holds us back, we think we know it all or know best or can do it alone...youth, we are invincible. It has taken me nearly 40 years to realize I am broken and the only one that can "fix" me is God and guess what He is a loving patient God.
Sometimes I don't want to dive in and talk about my faith and other times it just comes right out of me.
I have a good deal of sass going on in my head. That is why the title of this blog is called Interpret Sass.  
I'm not really one to speak gently, most of the time I am snarky, sarcastic and yes I drop a swear word now and again. (take a road trip with me and you'll get an ear full!) I spent quite a few years trying to fit into this Christian mold of what I thought I had to look, act and be like. But it didn't feel authentic to me. I don't usually see the rosy side of things, I am not a positive person for the most part and happy happy people irritate the crap out of me. How can one be so happy all.the.time? No not me. I wake up thinking "What crap is coming for me today?" And if by evening and nothing major has happened, I think to myself "This has been a great day!"
I am not one of those people that wake up in the morning saying "This is going to BE a great day!"
Nope the day has to prove to be great before I'll give it greatness. Yeah, I take after Thomas...God made me too. He knows my heart and I'm sure he spends lots of time shaking his head at me. I'm the kid that questions everything, the kid who says "Why? and Why? and Why?" I the kid that makes a mess and hates cleaning it up so I try not to do anything messy. I'm the kid that makes you want to pull your hair out at because I just can't get it, but you know eventually I will, in my own exhausting time.
You've had a child or sibling or friend like me...I know you have! We are EVERYWHERE! Ha ha.
Point is, I like me and I don't want to be something I'm not, I just want to be a BETTER me.
This post went nothing like I intended when I started writing. And I'm okay with that. I just wanted to post so I didn't look like such a before I forget go unfollow me on twitter unless you too have a massive crush on Gary Barlow or Take That...because otherwise you really will I'm the biggest loser! LOL

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