Monday, October 6, 2008

The Lead In...

The lead in is the back story of how Rob and I met.
If you would have asked me 18 years ago who I wanted to marry I would have told you 2 things:
#1 Joe McIntyre (Of New Kids On The Block)
#2 Johnny B. (my high school sweetie of 7 years!)

Neither one of those worked out. Young love, so innocent.

I went out to Boston. I was a nanny.

I found myself, I also found a bit of summer fun. It wasn't meant to be either. (Boston is a story for another time...)

I longed to be wanted, cherished. Every girl does right?

Then came "Ramon".

He was my "project". I could change him right?

NO. I had to get a cat to get rid of him.

Young, naive and lonely I fell for "Mr. Liar Liar pants on fire!" See, he told me this sob story of how he was getting divorced.
I know I should have been smarter than that. I wised up quickly and NEVER looked back.
I was starting to feel like an old maid!

Next we have "ISH".

He was smarmy, smooth, ishy. I was easy prey. He wanted what ishy men want...He talked about wanting to get married, I was yet another test drive. I knew ONE thing. ISH wasn't what I wanted.

I wanted commitment, forever, I was not going to settle for whatever was offered. But WHAT exactly was marriage material?

I longed to be CHERISHED. (I didn't know Christ yet, he came later too.)
So how DO you know what is right?
I spent too many dates wondering is this the "right" guy?
Time and again my answer was no, sometimes it took a long time to "get" it.
I have Daddy issues. He didn't make me feel safe and loved. He proved to be selfish and mean.
I have Mother issues. We don't see eye to eye. She runs a pageant.

And all my life, I have felt, if only I had a crown to wear, she would love me. (That's me second row, second from left. I put myself through this torture not once but 3 times! I did win Miss Congeniality once though.)

This is the lead in...tomorrow I will take you on a journey God had planned for me, my whole life long and it was up to me how the story went!

*Side Note* As I'm looking back at these pictures, I notice how obscenely happy I look. Oh, how hard I tried to be happy with what I had. I could even fake myself out.

It sad to see. I wish I could go back and tell that sweet young women to hold on and for Goodness sake,hold out for more!


  1. Oooh, this is gonna be good. Can't wait to hear the rest!

  2. I'm going to stalk your blog until you tell us the story. So it is totally your fault if my bathrooms don't get cleaned. :o)

  3. Jenny (family tree gal)October 6, 2008 at 7:24 AM

    Nothing like leaving us hanging! However, I think that I may have a an inkling as to what happened next ... (smile!) I'll keep quiet! LOL!

  4. Oh how I know how you feel about looking over the relationships of the past. Looking for love in all the wrong places comes to mind...
    Can't wait to read the rest!

  5. You're speaking my language. I wanted everything a Godly man had to offer, but I didn't know God! So really, I looked for love in all the wrong places. Can't wait for the next chapter; I'm with Gwendolyn - the bathrooms may have to wait, LOL. Blessings, Whitney

    PS, I Love that you coordinated your music to your post; I do that all the time too!

  6. THANKS Whitney! I spent hours on playlist...just ask my hubby! Awesome you noticed. That makes it all worth it!

  7. as hard as it is to look back sometimes, it is SO GOOD to. i've done that journey back about the guys in my life. and the one i almost married. phew, i'm so grateful God intervenes when i make foolish mistakes!

    can't wait to hear more!

  8. I love a good story. I am looking forward to the rest and I am glad that it has a happy ending. I was just thinking, I have no idea how I found your blog or you found mine??? I can't seem to find a connection yet but I am glad it happened.

  9. What a! You have quite a story to tell! It is so compelling to hear people's testimonies, to hear how they attempted to fill a spot that only Jesus can fill. Thank you for being willing to share your journey, thank you for being transparent. I can't wait to hear the rest of this tale--I'm going to assume you ended up with the King of Kings and Prince Charming!

    So glad you came by my place today! So appreciate your comments!


  10. Wow - I can't wait to read the rest!

  11. Love this.

    Thank God for not allowing me to marry the ones that I originally thought were "the ones." Man, I was an idiot. Thanks again, God.

    Anyway, love the pics. And I think we all have Daddy and Mommy issues, some worse than others. I know I do.

  12. I can't wait to see the post tomorrow.
    My heart goes out to you! I had mommy and daddy issues too...but God used them to make me a wonderful wife and mother!
    Isn't God awesome! Amazing how he can take something horrible and turn it into beauty!

  13. i want to know more too!and i commend you for being so open!

  14. Just starting in on story. I'm so excited to get to the rest! :)


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