Thursday, November 13, 2008

Different.

Hello? Is anybody out there? I know you're there. I see you on my site reader. Oh yes, I took advice from Linda and got me one.
Maybe you are all over at Snapfish making your books and got no time to dilly dally here. Can I at least get a thank you for the tip on the free goods?
So while your thinking of just the right words to show your gratitude lets talk about GRATITUDE.
I visited a blog this morning that offered up a book about Personal Accountability. How we rant about things and what good it does for our situation or you who come read about it. I had this sarcastic comment all written and as I was reading it back to myself, I thought
"HUH, what is she doesn't read it like I'm saying it? What if it sounds mean and offending to her?"
So I erased it and started over telling her just what I told you and added.
"The holidays are coming. People pleasing Sara needs to have her rants or she will end up in a padded cell."
I have family I don't like, I have family I do like and wished liked me back, I have family who don't like me, and for whatever reason it drives me crazy. HOW can people NOT like me. It's not like they've EVER sat down and talked to me, or gotten to know me. It's just been right off the bat, "This is so and so..." and WHAM I'm hit by a cold burst of freezing wall.
I am gracious to all, but it wears on this sensitive heart.
I am all for personal accountability. I feel that some of THEM need it more than I. I have you. You gals keep me real.
Can I buy that book in mass Heidi? I could give it as gifts. ha ha ha.
I am grateful for my mother and father in-law. They are excellent replacements for my birth parents.
I do get along for the most part with Mother. But we are very different and we do not share the same views on faith. Mother believes stories of Jesus. Mother also believes that man wrote the bible there for it isn't true. It is what man wanted to write and not inspired by God or God-breathed. She was raised Catholic. Her first husband was Lutheran and her parents wouldn't come to the wedding...ok I'm not airing all Mother's secrets, just giving you background. I can't be myself around Mother. I am doing my best to bring scripture into daily life. To throw out nuggets of truth through out my day. If Mother gets a whiff of it she becomes cold. Standoffish. Conversation has ended. How do you celebrate Christmas without the Christ??? Well, Mother has perfected it. She comes to our house and does her best to smile, she has to smile it's not just me in the room you see...
I am so grateful that I can talk of our Lord as much as I want and see him in my In-laws.
As I have said my world is black or white. Truth or Lie. It is easy for me to see the ones who have given themselves to Christ. It is easy to see those who have not. Some are really good at playing the part...My point.
My heart breaks for these. I am surrounded by these, more so at holidays. It is painful to go around the table at thanksgiving and listen to the hearts that thank without thanksgiving. Then it comes to me, and I cry. Most think it's because I'm moved by what has gone around the room. No. My heart is breaking because of what has gone around the room. I can barely make out the words they are a whisper, how I wish I could SHOUT them.
"I am grateful to my Lord and Savior, Jesus. Who paid all and gave me life. For God and my family who are my blessings from him." I barely get these last words out because they have moved on. I am too quite for them to realize I'm still talking. And so it keeps going. The thanks without thanksgiving. And my heart breaks a little bit more. At Christmas we have stopped going to a gathering and changed how we do Christmas. Because at this place there are SO many gifts. It is all about the big show of gifts. What Christ gave us can't fit in a box. Can not be wrapped and tied with a bow. There is not a mention of Him here. It's when when when can we open...
This year I have a plan! I am going to START! When we begin to gather and the first inkling of sharing begins I am going to lift up my voice and say."JESUS! I am thankful that you gave me life. And that one day I will see the place you describe in your words as prepared for me. Thank you Lord for your sacrifice." And then if any of those wish to comment by all means come. Let me speak of the truth!
I could ask what are you grateful for? I know the answers Family, friends, Christ...
Tell me something that you struggle with(if you'd like) or that you've changed ? Give me some nuggets of truth.
Have you ever had to say No to a celebration because what you celebrate and what they did weren't the same?

7 comments:

  1. Oh girl. I feel your pain. My entire family (with the exception of my grandmother) are non-Christians. And it is a struggle. My only advice, because it's the only solution I've found that works, is to pray. Pray for your Mom, pray for the family who persecutes you (they're not excluded in the verse), pray that Jesus would use you to lift Him up during the holidays.

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  2. My heart breaks for you and your family, Sara...how hard it is to see the ones you love reject the One you love the most. I second Rachel - the only thing left to do is pray...and pray some more. I wish I was there to give you a big ol' hug.

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  3. I have some family that isn't on my fan bandwagon either, and I say the same thing..."How can they not like me?!?"

    sometimes it's more about them and has nothing to do with me.

    Maybe they're not rejecting you, but Christ in you. Either way, He feels your pain...and only He has the power to change it.

    Good rant ;)

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  4. I'm there with you ... I pray for those that I love that do not seem to find their way in Christ. You know, when looking at them - they are the ones who are either so unhappy or completely scattered in their lives. It saddens me, but I lift them on my prayers to be held in His hands.

    I also understand where you are coming from with people who just do not take the time to know you and come to their own opinions of what they think that you are ... fortunately, this is not so much true with my family, but with acquaintances whom I must encounter all too often within the community. It certainly is something that I chew on and am having a more difficult time, as of late, to let go. But, I just need to shake it off and consider it their loss for not having my quirky humor, laughter and warm heart in their lives. So, how 'bout that!! LOL!

    But, I'm still chewin' .... :)

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  5. I agree with your friends here...PRAY for your family and friends that do not know Christ. It is always easier for me to be around my in-laws when I have been praying for them consistently.
    My in-laws are not Christians nor is my sister...all I can say is pray and love your family the way Christ does. know that we all fall shortand it is only by God's grace that we will have eternal life with him.

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  6. I actually find it easier to be around mine and my husband's unbelieving relatives. They are the ones who really seem to understand what love and caring are about. They are more loving, less judgmental, more ready to lend a helping hand. It's interesting that sometimes believers (pointing a finger at ME here!) can get so inward-looking that they forget that it is up to US to be the aroma of Christ. If they are acting like unbelievers, it's because they ARE! We who have Jesus are to make the first step, turn the other cheek, put others first, etc. This is why I loved the book so much. It reminded me of all the things Christ taught and gave me questions to ask myself to stimulate me beyond the "Why me?" questions.

    Thanks for your post, Sara. It gave me another scenario to prepare myself for--holidays with relatives.

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  7. Family is the hardest!!!! Geesh, I wish I could post like you just did..problem is, that those things about family I'd love to post about, would be read by those in my family.

    Let me just say that recently I asked my husband where in the Bible it says that we have to remain close to our extended family? Not sharing your faith or even your political beliefs are two very huge things not to have in common.

    You can only talk about the kids for so long...

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