Stop and Smell the Butter.

Ever since I can remember I wanted to be a mommy. A lot of you know this feeling. Never in my mind did I consider what that would mean. How I would get there. What changes my body would go through and if I would even like being pregnant. I had NO idea how scary it could be or how heartbreaking.
Six years ago my Butter Babe was born. Her given name is Nina Elizabeth.
While I was pregnant, I believed with my entire soul I was having a boy. Therefore the name we picked was Matthew. I would not let myself even consider a girl, because I deeply, deeply wanted one and I didn't want to be heartbroken with having a son.(or having all boys) So it was a boy. Boy boy boy. It started out easy enough. Then the sickness kicked in. Not morning. It was all day long. No puking just that sick gagging feeling. All day long. If I got whiff of a smell...I would get the dry heaves. And my girls were sore. That doesn't seem like a strong enough word for what they were. (But nothing compared to afterward...which NOBODY tells you about.) Tired and crabby doesn't seem right either. I waited patiently, biding my time to "see" the babe growing in my belly, and causing me to shatter my myth of pregnancy. At 20 weeks I had my ultrasound. At which I heard the words "It's a girl!"
I C.R.I.E.D. My joy had NO bounds. And there was something about another ultrasound to schedule...but I was having a GIRL! Back to the name game. Emma was so popular, and no name was good enough. Until Nina. Not Nine-nah. Neena. Man, it gets me when people call her Nine-nah. We loved how simple and pretty it sounded. Elizabeth is in honor of a woman I new as Grandma Betty. She was my dear friends Grandma. I spent many summer nights at G'ma Betty's. I loved her dearly, and I was pregnant with Nina right before she died. Before she left, she made me a blanket for my baby. It is purple. I didn't know that I had meant so much to her that she would knit it for me when her time could have been spent with her own family. At my shower I was handed a gift bag, the tag said G'ma Betty. It is a most cherished gift. We used it for Nina's baptism.
Now, if you missed it like I did that ultrasound I needed. See, I wasn't listening carefully. There were concerns about my fluid level. I can drink more water...
After that appointment our dreams became a large crack in the mirror of our future. She was small, could be any number of things, we don't like your fluid level...Come back in another week. I was stressed out. What was wrong? What was happening? Then came the Glucose test. NOBODY told me to watch what I ate on this day! Someone said something about a normal breakfast. DO you know what NORMAL was to me at 25 weeks. 2 Eggo waffles covered, make that smothered in syrup. A bowl of Frosted Flakes, and LARGE glass of OJ and a piece of jelly toast. Can anyone say SUGAR high? And would you be surprised that I failed my glucose test? I believe the mid-wife said "Anyone with that high of test has gestational diabetes." (No, 3 hour test was given.) So now I'm freaking out about what I can or should say CAN'T eat. Which is basically everything I am craving. My cravings were through the roof crazy. I could eat JARS of sliced pickles at a time and often did because they didn't effect my sugars so bad. But cereal, Captn' crunch with crunch berries. Mashed potatoes with potato chips crunched up in it and pickles. PASTA! and Snickers.
I had 18 ultrasounds in all. I was put on bed rest at 32 weeks. My Baby was breach, butt down, head under my ribs. I never felt the "love taps" people talk about. My baby pushed on me. Probebly trying to dislodge herself from my ribcage. To this day she has a lump on the back of her head how it formed from being suck there. She would push up into my lungs and out with her feet and legs. It hurt. It was jarring. I'm sure she was more uncomrfortable then me though.
I was scheduled for a "tummy delivery" on December 27.
On Christmas Eve I felt "funny". There was a metal taste in my mouth. Thigs I ate didn't taste right, and I was really really tired. When I woke up the next day Hubby asked what I did to my face? I developed Bells Palsy. So half my face looked like it had a stroke. I couldn't drink or eat because my lip sagged on one side. I looked horrible. Nothing to worry about, said the doctor. He just wanted to get me through the remainder of my pregnancy. Sweet, sweet man. He showed up early to do my c-section. I wasn't scheduled until 3:30PM. When I arrived at the hospital, at 1PM, they rushed me in and said he's waiting for you!
I had no time to get all freaked out, I didn't have time to think of the things that could go wrong, it was GO TIME! I remember being cold and feeling a tingle run down my legs. Then Rob was there and I could hear the Dr.s and nurses working. Then I felt someone sitting on me, or that's what it felt like. And then came this SCREECH! I mean she just let it rip!
The Dr. brought her around and he was covered in poo. He laughed and said "This one is sassy!" Then he guessed her weight which he was dead on.
8lbs 10 oz and 22 inches long.

SO MUCH FOR SMALL! And she was 10-12 days early!

She had pooped all over him as he lifted her out. Or I should say pried her from under my ribs. He later told me she was stuck pretty good.
When I got to hold her, I can't describe it. I can't. There isn't words. But her smell...oh my goodness, her smell was that of warm melted butter. It was heaven to me. And that is why I call her Butter. That is why I named my blog Butterville. To honor that moment in time when my life changed FOREVER and it was no longer MY life, but that of a mother. Tomorrow I honor Butter! On her birthday!

I wanted to share with you this scrap book page of Nina. It was on our road trip to Washington (state) to visit Rob's brothe and wife. She was 1 and 1/2 and loved her babies.

If you couldn't read it: which I couldn't either: it says that the babies kept her busy. She would burp the babies, hug and kiss them and even smell there backsides to if if they were "stinky". It was the sweetest thing to watch. She is just as in love with her dollies as she was then and exactly like I was too!