Thursday, March 5, 2009

Who Da Judge? Man UP!

I'm going to post about a fight Rob and I had.
Not airing dirty laundry, but acknowledging something we ALL do. And for the most part get away with.
I love watching American Idol.
I also like hearing what the judges say. As long as they keep it to the performance and don't start ragging on clothes or looks or whatever.
Hubby really doesn't like reality shows. He puts up with them because that is what I enjoy.
He'd rather watch or listen to sports. 24/7. Yuck.
So the fight. Rob is a commenter. I don't think he really listens to what comes out of his mouth OR thinks about what is about to come out.
One gal was up. He said something. It bite me and I let it go.
Next came Nate. If you've been watching the show you know that Nate is different. He just has quirky mannerisms. Plus he dresses in his OWN style and the piercings. (I really don't like piercings and tattoos.) But it's HIS body and HIS life.
Rob said something very rude. This time I couldn't let it go. I felt the burning need to convict him right then and there. Had our children been in the room the fight would have gone another way, but they weren't and I snapped.
Sometimes I think Rob thinks that just because they are on TV, that they are asking to be judged, that he can say whatever he'd like because he's not hurting them if they are not standing in front of him. But He'd NEVER say that to their face or if he knew them.
That still under ANY circumstance doesn't mean you get to slander the poor person.
God calls us out on this in the bible!!!!
Which I so proudly reminded him.
Oh, yeah, wife of the year here, cause I'm so perfect myself.
Then after that he said something mean about somebody else.
This is when I asked him to go to bed.
More accurately shunned him off to bed like a mother having had her fill of smart mouth sends her child dismissively to bed.
I got that he was crabby and the show was not helping and he needed to go to bed. Right now.
Off with you then.
I hate when I get all holier than thou. BUT I get frustrated at him. He is the MAN. He is suppose to be our family's spiritual head eh?
But sometimes I need to slap him(not with hands but words) to make him see where and when he's failing all of us.
DO I have a problem when someone points things like this out to me?
No, not really, because if it's coming from someone I respect then I KNOW they aren't scolding me, they are speaking from God and trying to bring me out of sin.
Rob and I differ in a big way:
He is a let it go, bygones, forgive and forget, move on it's over, let it roll off your back kind of guy.
He has gray areas in his life and he's fine with that and letting God decide to black and white of it.
I am literal. Black and White. I'll forgive but not forget. If you don't tell the truth you are lying, even if it's about somebodies butt looking smaller then what it looks like. Even if it's not to hurt some one's feelings. If it ain't true it's a lie. I hate LIARS. Hate them. They damage my relationship to the person who lied to me. Butter nearly missed her school field trip today over a stupid lie about playing with water in the house. She lied to protect herself from getting in trouble. I asked her if she was playing with water in the house. Gave her the opportunity to OWN it. She lied. I was FURIOUS!
Playing with water in the house is a mess I really don't WANT to clean up. BUT I do realize that it IS water there for it could be worse. And she's 6. I played with water too when I was 6. If she would have asked I probably would have let her play, upstairs, while Roo was at school. Because then there WOULD have been a mess for sure if he was involved.
I called Rob at work. Told him that when he got home he would be handing down a sentence. It is HIS job to be the man. Time to man up. Butter had a field trip today. The kindergartners were going to Home Depot. I could not be clear enough that we were punishing the lying NOT the playing with water. Had she told the truth; it would have been something I would have dealt with without involving Rob. It was a minor offense. Sad to say though it turned major when she chose to lie. I lived with a sister that lied her way out of stuff all the time. I've been lied to by my father, boyfriends, friends, in-laws. I can not be more clear on how destructive lies are to me.
God did something to me. HE made my heart break with every lie told to me. I can NOT stand being lied to. I whole-heartedly believe in the words of the bible. Literally. (Which is a whole other discussion for another time)
We decided she could go. The lie did not involve school there for she shouldn't have to miss a school event. She did spend the night in her room and did not receive a story from Daddy. Which he thought was punishment enough. I agreed. Butter and Daddy have this bond. He lets her rule over drives me crazy! I told him clearly that when Roo is of age to get into trouble, which is fast approaching I will not tolerate favoritism. Which he has already admitted to that he we will be harder on Roo then on Butter. To which I stated "NO you won't because I will be here making sure you are not."
Which brings me full circle to the judgement of the Idol contestants and our daughter. I love her so very much. But she can not sing. As Simon would say "that is dreadful." Rob tells me I shouldn't discourage her. That with practice she could be good. True. BUT how many people in those contestants life do you think told THEM the same thing and they believed it and NOW you are dogging on them and saying someone should have told them that they should try another thing because singing wasn't it. It makes me laugh. He is a PROUD daddy. But one thing I KNOW for sure Butter was not meant to be a dancer or probably not a singer, but she IS good at using her imagination and she is a FAST runner. Roo on the other hand can dance, we haven't heard much singing yet. He is meticulous. Things have order. AH, child after my own heart he is.

I am so grateful that God put Rob and I together. We compliment one other and work so well together. He is there for me and I for him. And I certainly am not afraid to say "Hey step it up man!" or "You need to check yourself."
Just as I know he will say to me "Sar, you are being harsh." or "Don't you think that is a little much. Step back and cool off."
For the most part we rarely fight. Never been a knock down drag out screaming match. That'll never happen. He's not a yeller for one thing. Which, My goodness, is so calming for me. Second, I don't get that mad at him. He can be weird and annoying but SO WHAT. He married ME the queen of sass and routine and OCD. I mean really, where am I going to find another person to put up with me? No thanks I keep this one and work on making him happy. Because besides the stresses of raising these two AMAZING and beautiful kids we got it pretty good.
So thank you God, for giving me a place to bare it and share it and in the end be GRATEFUL!

1 comment:

  1. i'm dealing w/ something today that has to do w/ forgiveness. now i feel like crying a little more. i like the black and white like you. but it is so hard for me when i have the opportunity to speak love or what i think is "truth" and they don't always line up. forgiveness is so hard...forgetting even worse! thank the Lord he forgives AND forgets.


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