Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Don't eat apricots before bed.

I'm on a fruit kick. Trying a bunch of things I've never had before or had in other forms.
I bought a coconut, one of those brown hairy ugly ones. I was very disappointed when the "meat" was not like eating coconut in say an Almond Joy bar or straight out of the bag. Nope, it wasn't!
Avocado's have become regular occupants in our kitchen.
I love those little pluouts. YUMMY.
So, I decided I'm gonna try apricots. I've had them dried, they aren't bad. I like to make trail mix with them. I like nuts. All kinds. (That may explain quite a lot actually...)
I have never had a fresh apricot. So last night when I got home from stamping group I was feeling snacky, I grabbed an apricot. It wasn't as satisfying, or sweet as I had thought it might be. That would explain the craving for a raised glazed and chocolate Krispy Kreme I still had. I went to bed.
I had the strangest and most disturbing dreams.
It started out, I was driving on a very long and deserted road. Suddenly all four of my tires went flat. I've never had A flat tire, but this all four. Oh Come ON.
I was irritated.
I saw a motorcycle in the distance and I could tell whoever was riding it was big and burly. As it came closer I realized it wasn't a WHO it was a WHAT. What was it? You ask. A big hairy burly smelly Rhinoceros! And he could talk!
"You need some help?" He said in this super deep and scary voice.
Look, I'd be nervous if it were really a person, but I was freaked out that it was a talking Rino!
I remembering feeling like "Girl you are in SO MUCH TROUBLE!"
Then he/ it was gone and I heard this noise, in the air, like airplanes. No, like JET planes.
I looked up and there were fighter jets above me, and they were LOW, I could see the pilots, grinning at me. No, scratch that, leering at me. The had snouts like pigs...they could have been pigs but they had helmets on so I couldn't tell, plus they were flying, quickly. I could hear the rat tat tat of the machine guns. I was RUNNING for my life.
Flash Weirder.
I ran through this door, it looked tattered on the outside but when I burst through the other side I was in this white ballroom. People were all dressed up in gowns and tuxedos. I looked down at myself thinking, well great I'm not dressed for THIS!
I suddenly had a gown on, a big ballgown. One with a huge skirt that looked like there was a hula hoop in the bottom of it. I reached out and felt my hair, that had been a sweaty matted mess while running, it was now up, I couldn't see it but judging from the other ladies, it was BIG bouffant hair.
Then I saw him. He was shaking hands and making his way toward me. I got so nervous, this was NOT happening. He stood in front of me and smiled warmly and held out his hand, which was gloved, he wanted me to dance with him.
All I could do was stare. DO you know WHO was standing in front of me?
President Obama.
And after being chased by flying war pigs and escaping a rowdy rino I could only assume that if I took his hand he would surely turn into a rabid polar bear and tear me to shreds.
This is when I shot out of bed gasping for air.
I was drenched in sweat and breathing hard. I slowly came around to realize it was a dream and I was really safe in my bed.
Geez, that is the WORST feeling.
I have no idea how long it took to fall back to sleep, but there were no more dreams. The rest of the nightmare happened when I woke for the day.
I had a gripping stomachache and rushed to the bathroom.
I have never, I mean never, seen that color inside my toilet bowl before, and because I will never eat apricots again, much less before bed, I will never have to worry about seeing it again.


  1. and i thought having sauerkraut the other night was bad. woa. so, what in the world would your dream have been like had you eaten the krispie kreme? i bet it would have been a glorious dream since that divine donut is much better than any fruit in my book! hope you feel better!

  2. I love apricots....and I have never had that happen! However, I do have crazy dreams like that!!

    btw, you think the coconut didn't taste like what you thought because it was missing, oh let's say LOTS of sugar?! :) I think I am craving an almond joy now!

  3. I can't eat pizza at night, or I'm more tired from my dreams than if I'd stayed up all night.


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