Back to blogging.

Okay, so I've been getting a ton of grief about blogging, or should I say not blogging in I quote "forever".
Wow forever? Someone was being dramatic. :)
I will admit it's been awhile. Longer then usual. I don't have a reason, unless you count feeling insecure about what content is going into it.
There are some AMAZING blogs out there. There are some blogs that make some cha-ching for every "hit" they have. They have fancy pictures and perfectly designed pretty to look at blogs, where honestly I don't even realize there are ADs on them.
So what can my little ole not making any money, gets maybe three comments a post, matter to busy folks??
Apparently I have underestimated my readership. I have heard ya'll loud and clear. Get back to blogging, you're missed...
I even heard from one of you "Quit whining and do it!" (You are so loved for your honesty.)
I'm going to ask you a question: How have you been feeling?
I don't want to know about your yeast infection, or your bout with constipation, or that humongo zit that you shouldn't have at your age.
I'm talking about: What is moving you? How are you connecting with the spirit? and What sort of feelings is that bringing to the surface?
Now it isn't fair of me to ask that and then not answer myself so I'll share.

I am feeling like I am on the verge of being pushed. Like there is something coming that is going to stretch me to my limits. And that scares me. I am comfortable. I like my cozy life. I like that God said "NO." to us moving to a bigger home right now and that we need to stay here. I like thinking about how we can update our home to make it home-y-er for US. I like that we have a rhythm to our life that is just humming along.
I don't like feeling like I'm being led up to the rock wall nice and calm like.
Like He has his arm around me and we're having this nice conversation, where I'm not even paying attention to the walk itself and then He's gonna say "Here we are Sar...I want you to climb it."
I'll look at Him and say "You are joking right?"
He'll smile and shake his head and nudge me forward, where I'll dig in my heels and throw a fit like a 12 year old told she can't where make-up to school.
He remind me that this is what we talked about, me trusting Him.
And I'll say "No I THOUGHT we were talking hypotheticals here!?"
I'll look up at that wall and feel sick to my stomach. Hate heights, plus I'm seriously arm weak. I can't even do 3 push ups. Yeah, I said 3.
"Trust me."
Nope, I'm still digging in. My body is a quaking mess. That harness ain't going on without a fight.
That's what I feel coming, but right now, I'm still walking calmly, being led...