Pet tails.

 See this little white fur ball? 

She's our new kitty.

We are all a bunch of suckers for homeless strays.

No really, Rob was at a party in college and the house had a dog, Lady, she fell in love with Rob so they let him have her. When he came home for the summer it turned out Lady wasn't such a "ahem" lady... She had puppies.

As for me I went to work one day ticked off at my boyfriend, one of the gals I worked with brought in a kitten that had been coming around her house. Boyfriend was allergic, so naturally I brought the kitten home. Next we have Louis, we showed up in our warehouse at work, my boss gave me instructions: "Find a home for that thing or I'll break it's neck."

I believe he would have, so I took him home. Now I had two cats and no boyfriend, I was well on my way to becoming "the cat lady".

Cue bar scene: busy, full of people. Pan left, two pretty women sitting at the bar talking intently. Pan right, two guys just walk in and scan the scene. They spot an opening at the bar, they go to place an order. Girl in the red sweater grimaces, turns to hand guy #1 a beer. he smiles, she stares...

You know the rest.

So now it's Lady, Tabby, Louis, Rob and Sara.

Lady is put down due to very ill health.

Louis gets fat.

Louis goes out one day and doesn't come back.

Pet store. Adoption day.

"We could use a dog." 

chow/retriever/lab mix.

Gabrielle.

Gabby is very distrusting of men.

Gabby hides under bed to get away from Rob.

Gabby tears up bedroom carpet trying to "escape".

Make a call to Vet.

Make a call to a pet therapist. (NO joke.)

Therapist tells me it will be like living with a special needs child.

Make a call to pet adoption organization who sold me said dog.

"Oh, yeah we've gotten nearly every puppy back from that litter."

No kidding? Gee, why do ya think that is?

Take dog back, they will work on rehabilitation.

Gabby does not return.

At a friends birthday party, told they have two kittens they found on the side of the rode.

Cassie Gin joins the family.

Cassie loves to hunt.

Visit friends that just got a new puppy.

The itch starts.

Random walk through mall, see black schnauzer.

Go home.

Must.get.dog.

Piper Presley joins us.

Cassie enjoys staying out all night hunting.

Cassie enjoys leaving headless "gifts" on the deck and in yard.

Cassie gets a new home on a farm in a different city.

two months later Cassie shows up.

Cassie is locked inside at night.

two days later Cassie goes out, and never comes back.

Apparently she didn't like our rules.

Happy family: Rob, Sara, Nina, Nick, Dog-Piper, Cat-Tabby.

Kids go to VBS, Nana says we have a kitten living under the deck.

Kids want to go see kitten.

Kids see kitten and beg for kitten to come home with us.

Kitten must be a girl to stay.

What should we name kitten?

Nick~ "Bella"

Nina~ "Snowball"

"We are not naming the cat Snowball. Daddy what do you think?"

"I like Bella."

Bella it is, well we can call her Bella but she must have a full name.

Isabella Rascalini

Unless it turns out she's a he, then it's Max and Max will be living with Nana and Papa.

It has been a few days now. She is making her place in this family.

Tabitha was not happy, Piper thought we had gotten a new chew toy until she was on the receiving ends of sharp tiny claws!

She is mostly white, with a tuff of buff on the top of her head and two black tuffs on her neck. The tip of her tails also has black.

Bella is a pro at hide and seek. It is amazing how this little thing can find places.

She loves to sleep. If she's not sleeping she wants to eat, after a snack she likes to play.

We now own:

one cat scratch post.

one feather wand

three fuzzy mice with feather tails.

one twine mat.

one feather twine ribbon thing.

one empty box from the neighboring liquor store.

two litter boxes.

All for this little rascalini!

RIng Ring.

I hear ringing, it's not quite a constant sound, but it happens often enough.
Luckily it is the phone, or should I say both phones. I don't know what happened but yesterday they were going bananas.
My cell phone, which I never use because I'm always home. My cell phone bugged me; I'd see commercials about apps and texting and email...what a PHONE can do that?
Oh sure, just not my lame-o one. I have a pay as you go model.
When Hubby got fired let go they took his phone. EVERYTHING was in there, well not everything, I'll get to that later... But all his contacts.
So he took over mine, I could care less and wished him luck because that darn thing never worked properly for me.
He really does have drive, he worked on it for nearly a week and yesterday he finally gave up.
"We need to get you a new phone." He said.
Oh, I knew this phone wasn't for me, it was for him, temporarily, you know until he got hired and got a new fancier one.
I wanted to stay with Blackberry, but not have a Nextel Blackberry, if you don't know what Nextel is ; it is a beepbeep "Are your there man? Roger, Roger one niner you copy?" Walkie talkie sort of gizmo, I hated it.
He would walkie me if I was taking too long in the fitting rooms:
"Hey, you about done in there? It's been 20 minutes, I was about to send a search party."
Real nice. That makes a girl feel good while she's wrestling with clothes that used to be the size...

Well, we found out the Nextel Blackberry wasn't compatible with the cell service plan I have: Boost.
No wonder the phone never worked right. (How in the world is a stay at home mom suppose to keep it all straight, excuse me I did not graduate from MIT.)

So, he picked the new fan dangled thing that is "touch screen".

He kindly let me see it, I am not liking it. Not at all. The sounds are different, There is no buttons, you have to slide things this way and that; I like BUTTONS to push, I feel like I need to give a retna scan to make a call on it.
So that phone has been ringing.
The land line has been ringing. Which are two very good things. Seems there are a lot of people that want to meet with my husband. Woo Hoo!

Now the part I told you would come later:
Last year about this time Rob came home with some pretty cool news: One of his vendors gave him tickets to the U2 concert. Well, Bono had to cancel because of his back and the concert was rescheduled for this summer. I hide those tickets.
Rob said to me today "Todd called me."

(Todd is the guy that gave Rob the tickets and we often joked that Todd would ask for the tickets back if Rob no longer worked for Metro.)

I said "And you told him I hide the tickets right?"

"I did."

"And?"

"And he said 'Tell her she better find them before July 23rd cause you're gonna need em to get in the show.' Todd told me 'You're going man I want to see you and your wife there! Just making sure you still had the tickets.' "

"Awesome. I wasn't giving them back."

Rob hit me playfully on the butt and said "NO you weren't."

No I seriously wasn't.
You don't get box seat club level tickets to one of the greatest rock groups concerts and give them up. Besides now more then ever Rob needs to make contacts right?
For the record, if I had to I would have given them back, but I knew Todd would never ask ;0)

He has three interviews tomorrow and several lined up for Monday. I am so happy for him. It's good to see his smile coming back.


Today I got fed from the Proverbs devotion:

And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. ~ Philippians 4:19

Lysa goes on to say that one of the subtle ways Satan tempts us is to plant the hesitant thought in our mind that God will not meet our needs- that God is not enough.

I love her prayer:

Dear Lord,
Help me to focus only on Your provision in my life today. I don't want to be separated from You, Your best plans for me or Your peace. Help me to notice when the enemy is trying to entice me with false desires, because they only lead to emptiness. In Jesus' name, Amen.

This was the sweetest ring of them all.

Seque way.

There is a blessing in all this. I know there is, I just can't see it ...yet.
We stopped by my husband's parents yesterday. They fed us, not just with food, but with unspoken love. The family's pastor also joined us for dinner along with Rob's brother, sister in-law and nephew; who frankly; I can't get enough of. (it's got to be the cheeks!)
Pastor Lisa is a very compassionate woman, she asks little questions and has a caring spirit.
Rob said "Last night was the first night I've slept well in years. A weight has been lifted off me."
This man's faith and strength astound me. I could never have imagined how I would witness such a thing.
I come from a line of complainers, wallowers,selfish greedy nothing pleases-ers.
Faith is not in that vocabulary.
Just two months after meeting my husband I suffered a break down. I went in-patient for depression. He was my worldly rock. He held tight to me as I felt the alone-ness grip at my soul. He was my link to Jesus. He softly whispered prayers and led me straight into the arms of Jesus, where I was reborn.
Throughout our marriage, Rob has always had this great faith.
"It'll all work out."
And it has.
Last night I told my husband. "I'll be the mouth. I got lots of things to say."
He laughed with me and then gently told me that maybe God wanted "the mouth" to be quiet.
If you knew me, I mean spent time around me, this mouth has big control issues. Like when a thought pops in my head and before I can even think about it the mouth has already spit it out. It would take an army of dead-bolts to lock this mouth down...
But in a sweet conviction my husband reminded me, that blessings only come from obedience and that includes complete obedience from "the mouth".
Last night as the thoughts still rattled my brain, thoughts I refused to let come out of my mouth, I felt my heart changing. Those feelings melted away and today as I think about those words that burned to be spoken, they have no weight, no meaning because the anger is gone. (yep, I still have to work on my thoughts, but one step at a time. One baby step...)

The fear of loss is a path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering. ~ Master Yoda


I thought I'd segue way into some pictures:
Hollywood studios had Star Wars weekend while we were if Florida. I think it was the highlight of our trip. Even if it was the hottest day, nearly beating a record! Right before we left we watched all 6 movies. Phew! But it paid off. The kids knew who everyone/thing was! And it made the *new* ride that much more exciting! (New technology upgraded the ride.)
Meeting Darth Vader was thrilling. Butter would say her favorite "character" to meet including Mickey and the princesses! Although she still clings to the "His name is Anakin!". The hope is strong in her!

 The kids were lucky enough to make the cut for Jedi training, where they learn to use the Force and practice using a lightsaber.

 Then they are surprised by the Dark Lord Vader, and he tries to sway the young padiwans to the dark side. (It was rather comical watching a little girl in pig-tails approach him and he responding to her "I don't know what to be more afraid of your lightsaber skills or those little whips on your head.")

 That is Roo(gray shoes, hood up) and Butter(ponytail) standing right next to the instructor

Since it was Star Wars weekend, it was not just Darth Vadar the padiwans would fight, our kiddos group had Darth Maul. He was so scary my poor boy was crying when he realized his group would have to "fight" Darth Maul instead of Vadar. I have to admit the guy was creepy.

I did not get any still pictures of Butter fighting him, I used video mode instead. She was hesitant, but listened to her instructor and did her best. They tried to coax Roo into trying; telling him Maul wouldn't hurt him, but he could not get past the make-up and horns. Sweet boy.

Then with a final standing the padiwans defeat the dark side!

 Butter is one the left with her blue lightsabar up, and Roo is next to the instructor in the green shirt.

 It was so much fun seeing all the characters from the movies walking around, it was even nicer to go into the air conditioning to see others.

 R2D2 and C3PO were inside, but the line ended outside and in full sun. Nope, I snuck up to the front and snapped some pictures! We enjoyed the air conditioning a bit longer while Roo picked his "Treat".

Both kids got a gift card to spend in Disney. Butter of course spent hers the first day, buying a baby Minnie stuffed toy. I kept telling Roo, WAIT. Just wait until Sunday, when we go to Star Wars day, I promise you will find something there. It was very hard for him to wait. But it paid off big for him. He found a Jedi Mickey stuffed toy AND had money left for a R2D2 action figure! Butter was a bit upset, I gently reminded her that I had said the same thing to her: Wait, just wait, look around, you might see something better. We can always find (the baby Minnie). She did not want to wait. So she had to deal with disappointment. In the end she decided she liked her Minnie best, and once the actual buying was done there was no disappointment for her. IT was even better after they finished Jedi training and each got another action figure! Butter got Padme' Amidala and Roo got Obi Won.

 We did wait to meet Storm trooper Donald and see Jedi Mickey and R2MK.

 As we were walking to our next thing, we saw an Ewok. We chose not to stand in line, and I quickly snapped a picture. Man, I can't believe what it was like in that suit! I was in a tank top and sweating!

We saw Queen Amidala too while waiting in line for Jedi Training and as soon as we finished that we headed back to the resort and camped out at the pool for 3hours!
Aside from it being Star Wars weekend, I would have to say that Hollywood Studios was my not all it was cracked up to be. A LOT of time was spent waiting in lines to meet characters. Buzz Lightyear was NOT where he was suppose to be, so we ended up in that line twice! and we completely missed all shows, because it was either at the other end of the park we had just finished up at or we were in line for something and it was almost our turn and we didn't have time to get in line for the show. We only stayed at the park until 5pm which most shows stopped for the day after 5pm and it was hot!
We reached our goal, which was get the kids into Jedi training, go on the Star wars ride and meet Buzz and Woody. We did all that and mat a few awesome others. Maybe next time we'll see a show.

May's end.

Today I was planning on posting more about Disney. Share more pictures more stories...
But instead I was woken up this morning by my sweet husband with a gentle kiss.
Scared me half to death. We had plans to go look at a rental today, one I was excited about, because maybe just maybe after three months of looking at "No Ways!" this one looked like a good possibility.
I was expecting him to come home around 9:30am, it was only 7:30. I sat up and said "Your early."
He looked down at me and said "They fired me."
It was something I never thought would happen, not in a conceded arrogant kind of way. Rob is the only one who does what he does at his office. He's the tech guy, he estimates and puts together the bids, he solves material issues, he purchases the material for the jobs. Since last fall Metro has been "changing" Rob's former bosses (one being his Uncle) sold the company to the "Sale's guy" and the "Field Sup. Guy". Neither one knows exactly how important Rob is to their jobs. If Rob isn't there they can't get very far in their work. The "sales guy" brings in jobs, Rob bids them trying to come in low enough to win the job, high enough to make money on it. The job is awarded and "Field Sup guy" supervises the installation...
It smelt fishy right before we left, They asked Rob to teach Meg how to input bids into the system. He told them it isn't about punching numbers into a program. Last week was a short week, He went back to work Thursday and Friday. He returned today only to be asked to leave.
Bitter doesn't even begin to describe my heart. This man is LOYAL, TRUSTWORTHY, HARD-WORKING. It's like watching someone try to drive a car without a steering wheel or tires or brakes. They may not look like much, or be the shiny part of the car, but the car don't work without it.
Alright then.
After nineteen and half years, they part ways in a cold impersonal "We're letting you go..."

The timing couldn't have been better. (sarcasm)
Is there ever a good time to get kicked in the nuts?

This morning we were going to look at a rental that I found last Friday. I was excited about this one, until today. Today we find ourselves without verifiable income.

My head can not grasp what God's plans are from here.

My heart is struggling to keep faith, swallow back tears and keep moving even when I have know idea which direction I am suppose to be going right now.

It feels unreal. I feel like I'm walking in molasses and everybody is talking like Charlie Brown's teacher..."Wa wa wa wa wawawa."

If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me.~ Psalm 139:9-10


I will never stop reminding myself that God is the constant in my life that he is enough. No matter where I have to go, even across the "farthest oceans," God's hand will guide this family and give us strength for the tasks ahead.

What's new.

I haven't got anything new to add.
No news.
Which, I don't know, is it a good thing?
We got snow last night and all day today.
Oh joy.
It covers the poop right?
Nah, I was just out there two days ago, and since my dog hasn't wanted to brave the out doors in two days...
I'm bored.
There are things I could be doing:
Packing.
Organizing.
Cleaning.

Not one of those things is even tempting.

My birthday is less then a week away.
We are going out to this hibachi place called Osaka. MMMMMM. Can't wait.
I turn 37 this year.
Oi!
I can only hope that my forties will be GREAT!
Cause my twenties were a growing period, of finding out who I was and who I didn't want to be.
And my thirties were a lot like my twenties minus the wrong choices in boyfriends, wrong choices and adding babies and finding out who I am as a mother.
I wish we could stop counting years and start counting experiences.
If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't LIVED.
If you don't find funky new "growths" on your body, you haven't add enough adventure!
If you don't know who the Righteous Brothers are...
You've never been in love and lost that loving feeling.

I got things on my mind, that I just don't feel like giving a chance to be thought about.
Does that make sense?
The pastor at our church came out with a book this past weekend.
It is fantastic.
He is a gifted teacher, and funny sinner. He talks about his failures a lot, and in his failures I see a real man, struggling just as we all struggle and just because he's a pastor, doesn't mean he's above sinning.
(which is a terrible misconception I have. In my mind I think, well they have a direct line to the big man, of course they have super strength.) Boo on me for thinking that.
Anyways he cracks me up. In the second chapter he tells how he out right lies. Really? Pastor?

All for fishing. Now I don't understand why someone would be so enthusiastic about fishing, but this guy is and he's got fish tales to tell.

His wisdom and understanding of the bible draw me in. I want to grab a cup of coffee and cozy up and listen to every word he has to say. If you'd like to see Bob at his best, check out the online messages here. If you'd like to read Bob's new book, find it here.

Today.

Today we went and look at a rental house.
Not a townhome.
Not an apartment.
Not a rinky-dink rambler smaller then the house we owned before we had two children.
A house.
In a nice neighborhood, in the same school district.
Wheels are in motion to see if this will work for us, for them...
Please pray for our family.


If you already have something, you don't need to hope for it. But if we look forward to something we don't have yet, we must wait patiently and confidently. ~ Romans 8:24-25

This is what the Lord Almighty says: All this may seem impossible to you now, a small and discouraged remnant of God's people. But do you think this is impossible for me, the Lord Almighty? ~Zechariah 8:6

Now Glory be to God! By his mighty power at work within us, he is able to accomplish infinitely more than we would ever dare to ask or hope.~ Ephesians 3:20

Clean freak...not me!

This lady cracks me up!
http://www.kellehampton.com/2011/02/state-of-our-house.html
She talks about not being a good housekeeper, it's hilarious and I could totally relate.
Some people just get their jollies from cleaning and keeping things neat.
My mom for example, she can not go a week with out cleaning her house. And when I say cleaning her house I mean the kind that normal people do when they just move into a home.
Who moves their fridge to vacuum behind it? or scrubs grout with a toothbrush. Come on, you will not get the front of the line because of that! Just saying.
In my head I can be a total neat freak.
Somebody forgot to give that memo to my hands!
We have markers all over the dining room floor.
Clothes everywhere that need the smell test because the kids nobody can say whether they are clean or not.
I do do laundry, but I've stopped putting it away for them. outfits never stay together anyway...it all ends up on the floor if they change their minds...

Moving on.
Staying next to Jesus is becoming difficult these days...satan is doing his darnedest to shake me loose. But I got a WHOLE book of Psalms to say aloud.

Ironically; just before I read Miss Kelle's post I had done some cleaning and rearranging. When I start to feel trapped, a good hour of cleaning helps. Now if I can just find the duster...

Weekend Update.

It was not one of the most stellar week ends for us.

Our trusty 10 year old Subaru died. D.I.E.D.

I have a handy husband, but Subi left him scratching his head and me hitting my knees praying.

After talking with his Dad, they seemed to be on to something...there was hope. But hours ran out of the day and it would have to wait.

Our new glasses were in, and trust me my pour eyes needed the new prescription. It was a bit of a nightmare ordering them. I had a difference of opinion with the salesgirl (I say girl cause she was young.)

Not only with the frames I picked out for myself, but also with the frames we had picked for Hubby.

He needed lenses that would accommodate bi-focals, no more cute little frames for him. I liked NONE of the frames She put him in, he liked one. I am still getting used to his "headlights". If you have ever watched the Disney Cars movie you'll understand: My husband looks like Sarge.

I knew that after time I would hopefully come to like his new frames. Mine however I need to feel good in.

She told me, that since my prescription was so strong I would need full framed glasses. Well, I liked my old frames, but I had something NEW picked out. If I wanted something similar to the old ones, I would not have spent the money on replacing the frames. I picked a rim-less frame.

She warned me.

The moment I put them on my insides lit up!

I followed my gut and I was most pleased.

 I do not have a picture with my sunglasses on yet, um, I kinda need sun for that. And since we are in Minnesota and we are in the mist of a blizzard! There is no sun.

I love snow, I love living in Minnesota. I do not love when our 4wd car is dead in the garage and Hubby must take our brand-spanking new mini-van out to do the paper route on yet to be plowed back roads! He didn't make it far, he had to get towed out and then got stuck in our drive way.

I am dealing...but if I were a tea pot I'd be whistling right now!

We had a busy weekend, birthday celebrations.

 It was Papa's big day. Papa is very special to us. Since he is tough to buy for I went out of the box.

He join the Y this year too. Nana mentioned something about work out clothes and that he has none, Rob mentioned seeing him in "1970's circa sweatpants that have the elastic around the ankle. Do they still make them that way?"

I have no idea, I don't shop sweatpants for men.

I found the "cutest" in style gear for him. Charcoal gray with orange accents. Shirt, long shorts and pants.

Nana burst out laughing when he held up the shorts. I asked what was so funny, it's not like these were 1980's style shorty short basketball shorts...

"He doesn't wear shorts, not long shorts!"

The look on Papa's face told me as much.

"Well, I understand it's out of your box, but you have to look good working out, I mean these are made for sweating in. You know you like those new golf shirts..."

He's into the dri-wick golf shirts. (he has plenty of those.)

He called the next day to tell me they didn't fit, he needed a different size. We had joked about it the night before: "What are you trying to say? I'm large?" He joked.

"No, I was going for the XL but thought I'd go easy on you!" I lobbed back at him. And we both laughed.

(He's no where near large, but Rob told me to get that size.)

He also told me that he would be exchanging the sizes, and still getting the shorts.

Good for you Dad!

Okay time for comparison:

                      SARGE        

 Well, see what I mean?

It's crazy he's a cartoon!

Another bonus was getting to see this guy!

 Our nephew Blaine. He is so adorable. He wasn't having a good night, but I didn't care, even crabby the kid is so sweet!

Just look at those rolls, couldn't you eat him up?

And then the new "baby"...

This is Gracie. She is the sweetest thing. She breaks the mold on hyper Jack Russells. She is nothing like that. It may have something to do with her "disability". Gracie is deaf. She barks, but all you have to do is hold a finger up and she's quiet again. Wish that worked with all the other dogs!

She takes no gruff from the big labs (Blaine's dogs), and she doesn't let Jackie (Nana & Papa's Jack Russell) push her around either. We haven't introduced our dog Piper yet...

Now I suppose you are wondering: Did they get the car working?

No.

It is a source of stress for me.

Please say a prayer for us.

Thank you.

Waiting, and not so patiently.

I am in a holding pattern.
It wasn't even my idea, I hadn't even been thinking about it and then all of a sudden Hubby set it in motion.
You know how everybody LOVES weekends? Time to relax, hang out, no worries of being somewhere or work needing to be done?
Well, it so happened the WE needed some work to be done, and guess what; she was out of the office Friday and then it was the weekend.

And we've got snow...more snow. Snow today, 4-8 inches and then some more coming Thursday into Friday.

Yes, the snow matters, we just had a blizzard! (I wouldn't have called it that, but the weather people do, so blizzard it is...It crippled things like roads and airports and MAIL.
And for the record isn't the USPS motto: Through rain, sleet and snow...
I'm not saying I agree with it, I'm just pointing out that THEY make the claim...

Noting the crabby mail carrier and his outrageous expectations of snow removal and with holding mail from us if said snow is not removed to HIS expectations...does he NOT get that we live on a busy street? We can clear away snow and ten minutes after we get inside the plow comes by. We live on a school bus route, that plow comes by a lot. When the snow bank at the end of your drive way is taller then what your blower can throw over, where in heaven's name does he expect it to go? Rob suggested spray painting the snow banks with Merry Christmas "since they are so high and lots of place to write."
I can only imagine Mailperson's comment to that. He once told me, that we needed to clear the snow, which my husband had done earlier that day. I told him it was clear, the plow went by and that we were not allowed to put it in the street. He snarled "You're drive way is clear."
Uh huh, I know it is, because the plow doesn't push mountains of snow up into our drive way to clear the streets, it pushes mountains of snow along the side of the road to clear the street for cars. it just happens that the mailboxes our ALSO on the side of the roads. I didn't put the mailboxes there. My driveway is clear, park at the end of it and walk on up to deliver the mail, that's what they USED to do. I didn't make it "easier for the drivers" so they didn't have to get out of their warm little trucks and walk a few feet to do their job...
My husband delivers news papers at the crack of dawn every.single.day. He doesn't get Sundays off, he doesn't get holidays off, no every.single.day he delivers papers. EVEN when the rest of the world has closed down do to blizzard, HE was out doing his paper route. Why? Because everybody expects their paper to be on their step or in their box by 6am.
Rob's route is what's called a rural route, which means most of the papers get put into a box at the end of a very long driveway. But there are some folks that insist on having door service, which means Rob drives through their UNplowed driveways to place the paper in between the doors so it doesn't get "lost".
I think a certain person needs to lower his expectations or he could find himself on the naughty list.

So I'm in a holding pattern.
Paperwork needs to be filed and signed and delivered.
There are prayers that are said every single day. One of them is on the verge of being answered, and I am trying my best to wait patiently for the details to be worked out.
Until then, May your days be Merry and Bright
And may your Christmas, be like mine, WHITE. hee hee (that was a hint)

Bullets points

Hmmm, I sit here with some serious writer's block.
Even though my mind is rarely ever blank, I would not dare disclose what's on it without the filter running!
Right now the filter is being repaired and cleaned. It was dingy and clogged.
Bullet points keep it simple:

• I am taking my son to the doctor today to see if his finger is broken. As Hubby would tell you "Some little punk needs to keep his hands to himself on the bus!" You get 'em Honey!
• I am taking my 13 year old niece to see part one of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. we have been planning this all summer.
• I got a call from my Mom yesterday in which she told me her echo/stress test came back "fishy" and must go see a specialist on Monday. She did not ask me to go with her, to which I asked for all the information and told her I would be there. I am stressing more about her eternal life then the one that may or may not be at risk...Please pray for Judy.
• We are waiting on some important papers from our mortgage company. Again, I don't care what the outcome is, I would just like to be able to breathe again. Change can be good, God has plans for us. I'd rather just get moving again then sit here holding my breath.
• Hubby's job search. Grrrrr. Again I say: God has plans, timing...I know blue looks good in the winter but I'm pretty sure I wasn't meant to be a smurf.
• I have been a bad mother. I have been a harsh mother. I have let my stress and worry spill into my words. Butter has been exibiting some selfish, snotty behaviors and instead of getting the root of it, I shun her; send her to her room to "think about her attitude."

Gray

There's a theme going today...

 Lately I've been doing a lot of sitting around...

 Feeling like I got rocks in my head, like I have this weight...

wanting to spend all my time in bed...

Basically feeling alot like this little guy.

He looks like he's seen better days. Maybe he could use some TLC. I don't think he was forgotten on purpose, maybe he just got lost and decided to wait right where he got lost.

I've been feeling a bit gray, a bit lost and a bit tattered.

Life has a away of coming up and biting ya just where it hurts. For me it hits in the form of depression. I haven't talked alot about my struggle with it. It is a inner battle.

I had my break down in 2000, I went straight into treatment, where immediately upon entering I was given several drugs. I couldn't tell you what they were, all I could tell you was they made me sick. I was told if I went off the meds I'd have to leave to program. I took their meds for 3 days, and I hated being sick. I barfed, I was dizzy and tired all day, I couldn't put thoughts together let along talk about why I felt I needed to be there. I stopped taking the meds. My head cleared enough for me to realize I did not want to spend the rest of my life on meds.

This happened before I excepted Christ. Before I acknowledged that I was redeemed through his blood. Before I knew what forgiven meant. I finished the program, minus the meds. I found a counselor to continue therapy. Sue was a Christian, and she often talked about God in our sessions. I wanted to talk about all the crap I've lived through, dealt with, was still dealing with. At one point she said to me "I think we've talked about all there is to talk about, now it's time to do something."

I knew what she was implying, I had heard it before from counselors.

Walk away from the ones causing you hurt.

It was around this time that Rob and I started going to a different church. It was at this church I found Jesus waiting for me.

As I clung to my new found faith and embraced learning more about it, my depression lifted. Life was still hard but it wasn't unbearable.

I still have bouts of depression, usually in times of high stress.

This last month has been difficult for us, things at my husbands job changed, in a very big way.

He's looking for another job, which is not going so well.

We are once again fighting with the mortgage company, struggling to pay our bills.

Not the huge credit debt, or new car payments, no, just the electric, gas, water, taxes, grocery, the garage door opener broke we need a new one, the wash machine isn't working like it's suppose to and needs replacing...

Those are the bills. Those and the mortgage. Between our health insurance and our mortgage we don't have much left over.

I had myself a good cry one night, while my husband was out doing his paper route. Clarity is a wonderful thing, having peace in your heart is nearly as good as having money in the bank: as a matter of fact it IS money in the bank; the bank of your soul.

Pruning and growing is painful, but it needs to be done, or it will no longer bear fruit.

I like fruit. I want to be fruitful.

So yeh, I am in a gray patch right now, but there is always a rainbow. HE promises.

I had lunch with a dear friend yesterday, and as we were talking she told me to seek out verses that tell me who I am in Christ. She recognized that I was feeling unworthy and she reminded me who I was in her eyes. See, dear friends can do that, they can tell you things and you believe them, because these are the girls you trust, these are the people that WILL tell you, yes Virginia, that dress does make you look fat and then she'll hand you a fresh made cookie. I love my girlfriends.

 I DO have doubts about who I am in Christ, will HE listen to ME when I call out to him? Will my prayers be answered? Does he CARE about my situation among all of the other's who need him more?

It is easy to look to your friends, you can hear their voice, see them, touch them...

Faith is something we can not see; can not touch and is requires a lot from those that like control.

My faith is being tested, I know that. I know He is requiring me to lean into Him. I just wish it wasn't so hard to do. It all comes back to Thomas. I'm a Thomas; Thomasara. I'm not exactly proud to admit that.  My thick head and at times stubborn heart  has to see it, touch it in order to fully believe it.

I see things all over Blogland, how He is working, heck I have even seen it in my own life; but to feel completely worthy, good enough, deserving.

Where does THAT come from? I mean really? What wire in my head has shorted out? What valve in my heart is blocked?

I guess the only answer I can come up with is: The world.

Worldly life has taken precedence over devotion time. The only way I'll know what God is saying to me is if I spend time with him. So I better get off the blog and dig into the bible so I can cast off the grays and start seeing the rainbows.

Pink

So this weekend the car decided to die. We were at Panera having soup, I could think of worst places to be stuck.
I said to my husband, who; I like to remind everyone is the mechanic in the household, I said "Babe, I think the battery is dead."
"Nah, it's only two years old." He says while he's popping the hood. The minivan guy next to us says "Hey, you need a jump?"
Hubby says "Do you have cables? We don't have cables."
"No, I don't." He goes back to sitting in his minivan and waits for his wife to come back.
It's taking to long, so I get out and look under the hood. I see the battery is covered in "gunk" and I ask "What's all that stuff?"
"The posts are corroded."
I look at him, I don't say anything, because now would not be the time, but in my head I'm thinking if anything in my house looked that nasty we'd have rats, not mice; RATS.
I ask "Should I call your dad?"
He was waiting for someone else to come along with cables.
I call his dad, who only lives minutes away and could have been there by now.
Then magically "Macho Man" appears.
"Looks like you guys need a jump."
Oh we do Macho Man we do!
This guys' neck is as big as my thigh, and my thighs are like tree trunks; not 100 year old oak trunks but maybe a 5 year maple sapling. His arms are huge! He is wearing a sleeveless shirt which may or may not have been appropriate attire for our weather. His arms each had tattoos going around them, I mean the guy looked like a tank. A big macho tank, which is what you'd want to come save you in battle I mean from soup at Panera's.
He feels free to make an observation: "Looks like you're gonna need some tires soon."
Hubby answers "Yeah, like yesterday. Just isn't in the budget right now."
Macho Man looks at me in the car, I can smell what he's cookin'. (That is a shout out to the Rock, my favorite wrestler, I stopped watching when he became an actor, wait he always was an actor, um I stopped watching wrestling when the Rock stopped being a wrestler.)
He was saying: Lady, really, this guy is a schmuck. Take your car in and have it looked at.
I ask if I should call his Dad back.
Uh, yes I did holler that out the window where Macho Man could here me ask if he wanted me to call His Dad.
Macho Man then gave my man the once over, I think I saw him chuckle.
The car starts, Macho Man takes back his cables and Hubby thanks him.
I watch as Macho Man gets in his pristine big black monster truck and rumble away.
Hubby gets in and I burst out laughing.
"What? What is so funny?"
"I think you need some new tires." I say doing my impression of Macho Man.
Rob finds no humor in it. "He said 'it looks like you will need new tires soon.' He didn't say we needed new tires."
"It's one word, and it still means we need tires and a battery!"
"We don't need a battery, I'll clean it off and charge it over night."
"Because it's only 4 years old right?"
He gives me one of those looks, like women shouldn't talk of things they don't know...
I start giggling again and add: "And you had to wear a pink shirt today?"
Rob looks down and gets defensive "You bought me this shirt! And it's not pink it's watermelon!"
(That is exactly the words I used when I bought it and he called it pink.)
"Yeah, but Macho Man only saw a guy with a hoopty car wearing a pink shirt eating at Panera, what kinda of impression do you think he has of you?"
I completely lost it, I was laughing so hard I was crying. He did eventually find the humor in it and he also eventually said I was right because it was the stinking battery and it was old, in fact it was at least 5 years old.
Now if the tire fairy would visit I won't have to defend my pink shirt wearing husband anymore!

Froth it!

Say hello to my little friend.

Don't know what this little gizmo is?

Well, let me tell you something...

I am addicted to Caribou Coffee's Pom/Vanilla Tea Latte.

I can not afford a daily hit dose for my addiction.

I asked a fancy-schmancy kitchen gadgets store if they had anything to make latte's frothy, like we get at Caribou or Starbucks. Oh, yes they did have what I was looking for and it had a steep price on it too. I think from the look on my face the guy understood there wouldn't be a sale. So he helped a poor girl out and told me to look at Ikea. And there, he told me, I would find something very similar and for a whole lot less money. I was stunned that he gave me such insight. Usually clerks of this store's nature would have look down there nose at me and said "SOR-REY this is all we have." All the while checking me out from top to toe thinking "I should have known by her cheap dime store flip flops she couldn't afford a reusable bag from us let alone a top of the line frotherererer."

Nope not this guy, so I looked him in the eye and said "Thank you so much for that tip."

He smiled at me and added "Enjoy your lattes!"

Oh yeh! Uh huh! Get-down-girl; go-head-get-down! {those were the lyrics to my happy dance.}

This is my cup, with a regular ole vanilla tea bag in it.

These our my "tools".  Brewed tea, coconut coffeemate and my ikea $1.99 frother.

YEH! I said $1.99 frother!

Buzzzzzwhizzzzzzzzzz

pour

VIOLA

A perfect vanilla coconut latte! Do ya see what the froth made in my cup? A bunny.

Oh yeh, I froth it like it's hot!

I think I may have a new talent. Maybe I should put my resume in a Caribou.

Cheers!

{Note: I frothed in a separate cup, I learned the hard way, very bad things happen when you don't!}