I'm joining up with Heather at the EO today...
Words have the power to bring someone to there knees...
They have the power to give someone hope...
Ease someones pain...
make someone hurt badly...
Many times it's the hurtful words that play over and over in our heads, haunting us in the night, playing tricks on us during the day.
These "tapes" that we allow to steal our joy, were callously spoken; but are not...I repeat ARE NOT the truth.
Growing up, I had a bully sister. She loved calling me "stupid" second only to "ugly".
When I got into junior high these hurtful names morphed into "gappy" and "muppet".
I had glasses, I needed braces and my body was changing.
I had the blessing (and curse) of switching school districts in ninth grade. Nobody knew me. I had a fresh start...and nobody knew me. I ended up becoming friends with a locker neighbor, who was a foot and a half taller then me. Our first words were "Hi I'm Sara, God you're tall!" and "John; Damn you're short!" We became fast friends, had math together even though he was a grade older, they put all the district newbies in a "special" locker section, not in with our grades...nice, don't make it obvious or anything.
I survived that first year, that summer I got my braces and I got that boy to agree to be my boyfriend.
Oh, sure there was some teasing, but for the most part it bothered John more. Until he made varsity basketball and he became a star player. Not that we'd win state or anything, but John was good and he was tough and I was his biggest fan.
We dated on and off for seven more years, until finally he had to be the one to rip the band-aid off; for good.
The old tapes came flooding back, and this 21 year old girl went crazy! Or as crazy as I could go, which wasn't too crazy, since I was always rule follower. I lived; wildly for a bit. Then I came back to reality and realized that the only person I needed to please was me. I wanted to be better...
Then I met someone that introduced me to Jesus, showed me I could know him personally and then the only person I wanted to please was Him. (Jesus)
I struggled against this *new* me, this *new* grace. It was painful, the guilt, the anger, the hurt...all having to go through it, to get rid of it, to find forgiveness in it.
Sticks and stone may back my bones; but names will never hurt me...
That is a lie!
Bones can break, but you can see the healing, you know when it's healed.
The names well there seep into your soul, they latch on...
and sometimes we use them to feel...because we are afraid of not feeling anything, so we hold onto them tightly...
There are days I still feel "gappy", there are moments I feel "ugly" but it is now because I stepped off the rock. Took my eyes off the truth.
God saw all that he made, and it was very good. ~ Genesis 1:31
He didn't see blonds, or redheads, or athletes, or supermodels...and they are good.
He saw ALL that he made, and IT was very good.
Which means YOU. Which means me, before, during and after my braces, glasses, awkward stage!
Heck, even after my two children!
It's the words we let into our hearts that make us who we are.
Breath that in.
God made you, he saw you and you are very good.