Wednesday, January 15, 2014


  • I have two cats.
  • I am allergic to cats.
  • I believe my cats are trying to drive me crazy so they can have the run of the house.

I have said multiple times, if I was guaranteed a cat like my Tabby, I'd have cats forever.
Well, lately I've begun to reevaluate that thinking
And now let us step out into the night and pursue that flighty temptress, adventure.
(Can you name that book?)
Let's first talk about the "other" cats I've had.
Tabitha, (Tabby) was the first cat I ever adopted. Her story will come a bit later.
I learned the hard way that not all cats are equal.
Louis was a rescue, not an adoption, a rescue.
I came into work one day and my boss said to me: "Girl, there is a cat in the warehouse, get rid of it."
You should know that yes he really did call me "Girl" and that it, in fact, did not offend me but rather was a term of endearment because I was the only female there and he called the other males names like Crapface, Dumblebunny and others much worse. To say He was crotchety is being nice. The work they did was stressful and dangerous, so everyone just kind of understood that this wasn't some touchy feel place. Roughneck comes to mind.  So "girl" was fine with me.
I went into the warehouse and saw nothing. About an hour later he came over to my desk holding a little orange fur ball by the scruff of the neck. He wanted me to call around to  and see what it would cost to put it down. Well, I couldn't do that, so what did I do? I took him home with me. Although at the time I didn't know it was a boy cat. I don't even remember what I originally named it, but when I took it in for fixing, I was told she was a he and thats when I started calling him Louis.
Louis was a few fries short of a happy meal. all he wanted to do was eat and prowl. Even after his parts were missing. He was also a whiner. if he did not get his way he would whine incessantly. He got so lazy he would lay at his food dish and eat while laying down, head in the dish. One night Louis never came home. I was not sad.
A few years later I thought it would be a good idea to take a kitten off a farm, and let her live with us.
Cassie Gin was her name and she was pretty. Looked like a bandit with her face markings, and had blue eyes, which Hubs said reminded him of a sapphire gin bottle, hence the name gin.
She shed like you would not believe. up until this time, none of my cats really shed. But this cat would drop hair balls the size of tennis balls just walking from one end of the room to another. Gross.
She liked to sleep all day and hunt all night. She was a stellar hunter. She got so good she became picky over what part of her kill she would eat. Mostly just the heads, and leave the rest in the yard. Try explaining that to a 3 & 5 year old. It became a problem. We found a new farm for her to go live out her days.
Months later my kids were yelling:  "Cassie's back! Cassie's back!"
How was this possible? There were highways involved and miles…
Well that cat found her way back. I decided after dinner they would be locked in for the night. She didn't like that so much and after 2 nights of being locked in she left, and never returned. My kids were sad, until I reminded them of all the headless animals she brought with her. She is probably still running around keeping the bunny population in check.
Which brings us up to Bella.
(rolls eyes) I can't believe I got suckered into another one. My daughter fell instantly in love with her when we went over to the in laws to see the kitty living under their deck that their Jack russels kept trying to kill. She was tiny and white and fluffy.
Isabella Rascalini is her full name given. But over time it has morphed.
She is silent and sneaky and at night she will scare the pants off you showing up out of nowhere, which led us to start calling her Boo. Or Boo Boo.
Ever seen Elf?
Well Bella is dumb as a box of hammers, and fluffy like cotton; so Cotton headed Ninny Muggins it became.
We rotate and she answers to: Ninny, Boo, Bella, Isabella, Boo Boo, Ninny Boo and Ninny Muggins.
she also comes running when she hears the treat can shaken.
She is not a social cat. mostly she spends her day hiding from us, she is a whiner like Louis when she wants treats or her box cleaned. She is also a biter. You can think that she will let you pet her, it will be going well and out of nowhere she will rip of flesh. (She used to claw us until I had them removed. And I don't want to here about how inhumane it is having that done. She wouldn't USE scratching posts and they weren't your couches, bedspreads, hands and arms getting sliced and diced.)
So now she bites. If I knew a cat dentist, I'd solve that problem too.
I am stuck with this one, because of the attachment my daughter has on her, otherwise I would have made arrangements.
I began wondering why were all these other cats so different from the first one I had?
Tabby came into my life at an interesting time. I was in my early twenties, living with a guy I had been dating for three years. His family, friends, people that knew us began asking when were we going to get married. His mom I'm sure was praying that didn't happen! (He was her favorite, an nobody was good enough to take her place) On Christmas that year, something weird happened. After all the gifts were opened there was a moment when all eyes were on me. As I slowly realized that they were I became panicked. I hate being center of attention. I started wondering why were they staring at me? Nobody was saying anything, just looking at me. Richie was on the floor next to me and he was looking at me expectantly. For a split second I thought: "Is he proposing?" Then I saw the box on my lap. The little jewelry box. My heart started racing, why was he doing this in front of everyone? This is not how I had pictured it going, not how I would have wanted it done.
He wasn't making a move to open it or speak. Isn't that how this usually goes? The man asks the question?
After a good long space of time, I picked up the box and opened it myself. Everyone held their breathe and waited.
I don't know if I was more relieved or heart-broken. Inside were diamond earrings. Little diamond studs. I think I mustered something like "Oh you shouldn't have!" Or "There are lovely!" or both, I'm not sure, because I was still caught in the moment of "Oh My God, What just happened?" And "What would I have done if…"
I needed time to process and once I did I went for answers. I wanted to know why he felt the need to make such a big show. Is that how he wanted to propose? Hadn't he thought about how I could jump to that conclusion the way he presented it? and lastly, Did he ever see us getting married? He gave the same answer time after time; "I don't know." Then one day he finally got real and said "I don't ever see us getting married." (We had just started living together, I had had my own place, where he would stay over on occasion. after the earrings, I thought he was invested and we moved in. BIG mistake.)
My life was moving forward, he was still stuck in college, partying, staying out late, not going out looking for a career. Once he told me he never saw us marrying my brain switched on and my heart switched off. I felt like the biggest moron in the world. I had my own place, I gave it up thinking we had a future. So I got a cat. He was highly allergic. He told me the cat goes or he does. I picked the cat.
It was me and Tabby. While at work, one of my co-workers brought in a kitten, she was abandoned and her 2 cats didn't like the new one, so she was going to take it to a shelter. On my lunch break I went back to see it, she said "You could take her." And I thought "No. I've never had a cat. Plus I don't like them." but then as I held her I thought "I could take her!" She promised I could call her with any questions, and I did, but Tabby and I became a family. She has moved with me five times, lived with six other pets and two children!
I am now convinced she is loosing her mind. At 14 years old she is getting brain skips. Like when she "kills" a toy mouse and meows like she is so proud of her "kill". (She has NEVER killed anything in her life! she has caught live mice, brought them into the house and given them to me, but never "killed" anything.) She meows when she can see the food bowl under her food. The dish must be kept full at all times, so she can eat and then barf seconds later because she really isn't hungry. 3:30pm she starts in whining for her dinner. (moist food) Anytime I sit down she wants on my lap. She sleeps on top of my head like she is my hat and she has started talking in her sleep. It's weird.
She is starting to get crotchety, she when she demands petting by holding your wrist to her and then she will lash out a bite said wrist for being near her. She never was a biter, but she has become one. And she's the one holding you captive. Again, I need a cat dentist, anyone know one?
I love my Tabitha, I do like cats. I just don't think I want to have anymore. They are really actually crazy. :0D


  1. Lol at the Louis lying down to eat. Garfield!! And lol at crapface;)

    You and Tabby have a sweet story:)

  2. I love your cat stories. =) I love pet stories in general!!


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