Come to our Wedding!

December 15, 2001
Was the day I married the man I couldn't have even dreamed of!

Oh, I had tried to find me a Mr. Right. I was so wrong in my choices.

Then one day this handsome, wholesome man walked into my life when I was ready to make a fast exit. I wanted to change my name, therefore my identity, so I would no longer be tied to a family who didn't even know what the definition of family was.

God saw a better way to change my name AND my family.

This is A day, that was so jumbled with feelings. But mostly, it was the day God answered my prayers and made Rob's dreams come true.

Nick Buettner, Paul Christopherson, Ted Ciganik, Steven Cox, Ken Schmidt And Rob Cox coming to the church. (Rob's brother Chris is behind Ken.) This photo was "staged" but I love it!

Hair done and getting a make-up touch up, this is Jody, she was my last minute maid of honor. The "friend" I had asked, was the gal I was with the day I met Rob. She turned into a psycho diva with two weeks to go before the wedding. I can't even tell you the stress and havoc and last minute changes it caused. I took a deep breath and cut her from my life. Jody was kind enough to step in and go right to work.

Here I am getting into my gown. I loved this dress! It was simple, elegant, flattering and I paid a total of $400 that includes alterations. My veil and headpiece however were not so cheap. I had them both custom made for me. I won't tell how much, but it was WORTH it. My shoes: You'll die: were brown Borns. I could never wear heals and I certainly wasn't going to suffer for beauty sake, and besides my dress covered my feet!!! They were so comfortable, and ugly. It was AWESOME. (My alterations lady had a fit at the shoes, she nearly wouldn't sew the dress unless I brought her something more "proper")

Since we were having our pictures BEFORE the wedding it had been arrange for Rob to have a private (His best man, and the photographer) viewing of me. One of the girls gave him their shawl to cover his eyes, I walked up and stood in front of him, his brother, Steven untied the shawl.

There you have the moment in this series of pictures and right after this, he yanked my veil out! in THIS picture.

This is one of my favorites, I love the looks on our faces. I was DETERMINED not to let anything ruin this day. The world could go into thermo melt down and I would still have my smile on my face. I was MARRYING my BEST friend, my SWEET lover, my FORever. No, I wasn't mad over this, I'm laughing, as if to say "Yeah, bring IT. Nothing is gonna get me down today."

An 11x13 of this picture hangs in our living room.

Here is another one of my favorites. As you can see we shot mostly in Black and White, but also got a few in color. The red (gook) on the side is from taking it out of the scrapbook, which I mangled in the process of this post. No worries, I'm an expert at repairing such disasters.

The boys. Looking all handsome! (front to back) Rob, Steven, Chris,(the brothers) Nick, Ted, Paul and Ken. (the roommates or as I call them the ex-wives!) Except for Paul, he never lived with Rob, it's the other three. Nick would be who our son is named after.

My family: dad ~Howie, niece~Teionna, mother~Judy, sister~Sherri (notice I gave her straps on her dress!!! I didn't need a topless dancer at my wedding, and yes, she was drinking again. ;)

Rob's Family: sil~Stacey, brother~Chris,dad~Gary, mom~Tonya, brother~Steven & sil~Jennifer.

Can you BELIEVE it was December in Minnesota?!?!?!
I'm telling you this day was BLESSED by God. 45 and SUNNY.

Us girls waiting for show time. This was so nerve-racking for me.

Hurry up people and get in your seats!!!!

Dum dum da dum...

My dad, Howie, had the honor of walking me down the aisle. I say honor because he never deserved it. He was an absentee father, who cared more about appearances and himself then for anything else. He broke my heart countless times. The reason I chose to give him this moment was SELFISH on my part. You see most daughters grant their fathers this, it really isn't that special when you think that it is normally the way a bride walks done the aisle. Just like she normally wears a shade of white and normally carries flowers and normally has cake, you get the picture. It is done out of tradition, and meaning for THE BRIDE. But for me I took this MOMENT to be the ONE and ONLY time he had to be there for ME. It was MY moment. He had to hold my arm, to smile to look as though I was his perfect, beautiful, amazing daughter and he gave me away to my husband. Gave me away to my new life. He didn't abandon me, he GAVE ME AWAY. So you see, it wasn't HIS honor, it was MINE.

Taking Rob's hand and walking toward the alter was surreal. I couldn't tell there was anyone else in the room.

We said our vows:

I____take you,____to be my husband/wife.

To be no other then yourself.

Loving what I know of you, trusting what I do not yet know.

I promise to cherish and respect you,

to care and protect you

To comfort and encourage you

To stay with you always.

____,I choose you,

to be my partner in love and in life.

We had issues lighting the candle. I couldn't see the top for one thing, and the darn thing wouldn't LIGHT. (apparently, you are suppose to light it before the ceremony, blow it out quick just so it will light that the time you go to light it.)

We stood there for the WHOLE song, it wasn't lighting. We turned to go back and suddenly out of nowhere the stupid candle decided to light. The candles had already been put back into there holders. The pastor made a joke and the whole church laughed. I loved that sound.

You may kiss your Bride!!

I let out a big WOO HOOO!!!!
Seriously, again they laughed.

I was spent with emotion. As we walked out of the church all I could think was

THANK GOD IT'S OVER!

Sweet relief. Rob and I get a quiet moment before we have to greet everyone. This moment was full of release, joy, surrender and the end to a very long journey.

This is Rob's grandma, Ruth. She was the matriarch of the Cox family. Ruth was diagnosed with liver cancer two months before our wedding. She had begun her treatment and no one was sure whether she'd be able to come. Not only did she come, LOOK AT HER, she looked gorgeous. Ruth passed away in January 2003. She got to meet our Buttered Toast just before she went Home.

The wheels on the bus...

Let's get this party started!!! We took a bus from the church to Rice park. (A park in St. Paul that is light with tons of twinkle lights.) The boys couldn't WAIT to have their beer, they kept sneaking out to the cars to have a drink, but the pastor caught them! Can somebody PLEASE tell me how Howie ended up on this bus? It was suppose to be for wedding party ONLY. See, told ya, he finds away to be in the middle of whatever is going on. Nope, this didn't make me mad either, I would have felt like a dork if I were him, being the only "oldster" there, but hey that's me.

The girls. They were so wimpy! They refused to take off their coats for a 10 second picture. Soon after they returned to the bus. Bunch of babies. Course, I was heated by the burning flame of LOVE, still bunch of babies.

The Boys. Nice to see the exwives so happy for Rob!

I love how Rob's arms are holding me tightly, as if he knew THIS was going to happen!

And THIS!

There! Now you can see the ugly shoes! Thank goodness those boys had the sense to bunch the dress! Or the shoes wouldn't been the only thing y'all saw!

Time for toasts.

Up first Jody. She did her research, found one off a wedding website.

"May your life together be like this roll of toilet paper...
Soft, strong and ever so long."
Why thank you! That's charming, or should I say Charmin! HA.

We thanked our guests and were ready to party down, but there was one last thing...

Elvis is IN the building!

The boys surprised Rob with Elvis wigs! Hilarious!

Our first song was to Elvis' The Wonder of You. I let Rob pick it. It ended up being perfect.

Okay BUST IT!

Those wigs were passed around all night. I don't know what ever happened to them.

Yes, we did the cake thing, and ate and more toasts but come on everyone is waiting for the dancing!

I hope you enjoyed sharing our wedding day with us.

Thanks to Rach for hosting this fabulous Wedding Carnival!!!!

Do You See What I See?

On December 15, 2001 A new chapter in my story began. It began with make-believe and fairy tales. You see it was my wedding day. I had the ball, the gown, the handsome prince, I even had the mean mother and wicked sister in-law. All I needed was some woodland creatures and some dwarfs. Even the weather was magical. Sunny and warm 45. This in the middle of December, in Minnesota. Here are the make-believe parts:

This is Howie. My bio-dad. I wanted him to walk me down the aisle. I wanted that moment in time where I could pretend that he was good to me, that he deserved this honor. He did not deserve it, but I wanted make-believe.

Mother just made it to the wedding she was sick with the flu. She got a shot of penicillin that morning, so she could be there. I felt it was God's plan whether she was there or not. Mother's parents were not at her first wedding. They did not approve of her choice. Mother had ideas of her own for our wedding.I can't think of one person who liked our idea of getting married in December. "What if there's a blizzard?" Typically, December is mild, and more predictable then the summer months. Where it can be blazing hot or rain with tornados. I'll take my chances with a little snow...plus I love how the church was decorated and it saved money. Anytime I disagreed with Mother, she would let me know just what a bridezilla I was being. Shouldn't every bride decide who walks her down the aisle? Shouldn't it be the bride and groom's decision the date of their wedding? Isn't it the brides choice of where to shop for a dress and which dress to wear? If you answered no to any of these, well then I'm a bridezilla. Mother wasn't paying...just because one does offer to pay, it does NOT give them full control over the choice. My maid of honor decided to go "crazy" a week before the wedding. I relieved her of her duties and asked my friend Jody to step up from bridesmaid to Maid of honor. This completely upset my family because they thought that Sherri, my sister should have been the natural choice. Um, NO. I let her in the wedding party just to keep the peace, I had no choice.

My sister in-law came up to me, the day of the wedding and warned me "If you hurt him..." this coming from a girl who dated Rob, went to dinner at his house and decided she like his brother better and married him. Are you kidding me? She had some nerve. Then to make it worse she hovered. In my space. You know the space where it's just the bride and her "staff." I was a basket case. (most brides worry over the details...I was freaking OUT thinking who is going to ruin this day?)

If you were to go through my scrapbook, chances are you wouldn't "see" what I do. Tt's taken me 7 years to enjoy them. I now, can look at them and know which moments are real and which ones are make-believe. Here are some real moments...the ones I'll be celebrating!

This is one of Rob's highlights. All of his "men" bought Elvis wigs and surprised him at the reception. If I had known about it, I would have planned it better. These wigs went around the dance floor...very funny. I told you he loves Elvis.

This picture right here is one of MY real moments. Because the second I took his hand...I let go of my past and became his wife. I will never forget that feeling of release for me.

Saying our vows. This is real. That look on my face is one of supreme fulfillment.This is us, really us. No worries, no cares, no stress...do you see he pulled my veil out? Now what bride wouldn't flip over this, after having spent hours getting ready??? Not this one. Because I knew that if this were the only oops of the day, it would be wonderful for me. We still had the whole day ahead at this point. But for those precious minutes that he and I had together alone preparing for the day...Rob was my calm, my shelter. Just as he is to this very day. I want to share with you a very precious part of our day. We wrote poems for each other. They were set up on the cake table, and nobody really knew what they were. Just us. And I couldn't wait to read what my beloved had wrote for me.

Destination

As a train steams

along the tracks

to it's final station

Fate of two hearts

held in God's hands

nurtures a Love that lasts,

in a blessed union

Our Love, no coincidence,

A destination of God's plan.

We celebrate 7 years today, I am hoping for a renewal ceremony in Hawaii in 3 years. I would like to be on a beach, barefoot. No fanfare. No circus. Just us, maybe the kiddos, of course his parents. I can't really remember what life was before Rob. He is my very best friend. He is my shelter. He is my husband. And I love him so.