Do You See What I See?

On December 15, 2001 A new chapter in my story began. It began with make-believe and fairy tales. You see it was my wedding day. I had the ball, the gown, the handsome prince, I even had the mean mother and wicked sister in-law. All I needed was some woodland creatures and some dwarfs. Even the weather was magical. Sunny and warm 45. This in the middle of December, in Minnesota. Here are the make-believe parts:

This is Howie. My bio-dad. I wanted him to walk me down the aisle. I wanted that moment in time where I could pretend that he was good to me, that he deserved this honor. He did not deserve it, but I wanted make-believe.

Mother just made it to the wedding she was sick with the flu. She got a shot of penicillin that morning, so she could be there. I felt it was God's plan whether she was there or not. Mother's parents were not at her first wedding. They did not approve of her choice. Mother had ideas of her own for our wedding.I can't think of one person who liked our idea of getting married in December. "What if there's a blizzard?" Typically, December is mild, and more predictable then the summer months. Where it can be blazing hot or rain with tornados. I'll take my chances with a little snow...plus I love how the church was decorated and it saved money. Anytime I disagreed with Mother, she would let me know just what a bridezilla I was being. Shouldn't every bride decide who walks her down the aisle? Shouldn't it be the bride and groom's decision the date of their wedding? Isn't it the brides choice of where to shop for a dress and which dress to wear? If you answered no to any of these, well then I'm a bridezilla. Mother wasn't paying...just because one does offer to pay, it does NOT give them full control over the choice. My maid of honor decided to go "crazy" a week before the wedding. I relieved her of her duties and asked my friend Jody to step up from bridesmaid to Maid of honor. This completely upset my family because they thought that Sherri, my sister should have been the natural choice. Um, NO. I let her in the wedding party just to keep the peace, I had no choice.

My sister in-law came up to me, the day of the wedding and warned me "If you hurt him..." this coming from a girl who dated Rob, went to dinner at his house and decided she like his brother better and married him. Are you kidding me? She had some nerve. Then to make it worse she hovered. In my space. You know the space where it's just the bride and her "staff." I was a basket case. (most brides worry over the details...I was freaking OUT thinking who is going to ruin this day?)

If you were to go through my scrapbook, chances are you wouldn't "see" what I do. Tt's taken me 7 years to enjoy them. I now, can look at them and know which moments are real and which ones are make-believe. Here are some real moments...the ones I'll be celebrating!

This is one of Rob's highlights. All of his "men" bought Elvis wigs and surprised him at the reception. If I had known about it, I would have planned it better. These wigs went around the dance floor...very funny. I told you he loves Elvis.

This picture right here is one of MY real moments. Because the second I took his hand...I let go of my past and became his wife. I will never forget that feeling of release for me.

Saying our vows. This is real. That look on my face is one of supreme fulfillment.This is us, really us. No worries, no cares, no stress...do you see he pulled my veil out? Now what bride wouldn't flip over this, after having spent hours getting ready??? Not this one. Because I knew that if this were the only oops of the day, it would be wonderful for me. We still had the whole day ahead at this point. But for those precious minutes that he and I had together alone preparing for the day...Rob was my calm, my shelter. Just as he is to this very day. I want to share with you a very precious part of our day. We wrote poems for each other. They were set up on the cake table, and nobody really knew what they were. Just us. And I couldn't wait to read what my beloved had wrote for me.

Destination

As a train steams

along the tracks

to it's final station

Fate of two hearts

held in God's hands

nurtures a Love that lasts,

in a blessed union

Our Love, no coincidence,

A destination of God's plan.

We celebrate 7 years today, I am hoping for a renewal ceremony in Hawaii in 3 years. I would like to be on a beach, barefoot. No fanfare. No circus. Just us, maybe the kiddos, of course his parents. I can't really remember what life was before Rob. He is my very best friend. He is my shelter. He is my husband. And I love him so.