The b-word.

Today was one of those hard parenting days. The kind where your heart breaks for your child because you can see the hurt in their eyes, the conflict between being good or giving in to the anger or fear.
We received a call from school today that Nicholas had called his friend a bad word after he fell on some ice and this friend laughed at him. As the friend laughed, Nick spat "You're a b*tch!"
If I had been there I may have laughed because I'm a momma bear and anyone that laughs at the expense of my kid is a selfish, malicious, unpleasant person. (as websters #3 definition says)
Rob and I waited for himto come home. We waited and waited, watching him not want to come home. Once he reached the door he stayed outside, I said we will just wait for him to come in. Nina finally opened the door to him when he was looking in the window, as if checking if the coast was clear. It tookhim 10 more minutes to come upstairs to where Rob and I were waiting. He had big crocodile tears, and he looked utterly defeated. I had told Rob he could be the "talker" but it became clear to me this boy needed tenderness and the opportunity to tell his side. We asked where he heard that word. (It is not in our regular vocabulary) After waiting out his "I don't knows" He told us that older kid on the playground had called him that when he told them to "get off the soccer field we are playing here." It saddens me that a) this language is used at such a young age and b)that the older kid took a cheap shot at somone younger and smaller then him instead of setting an example.
I guess my expectations are again too high.
We took our turns telling Nicholas what our expectaions are for him in situations like that and he did have to mouth a bar of soap, plus write a letter of apology to his friend for calling him a bad word.
We had also enlisted Papa to call and ask for an account of what happened. Papa asked him what he had called the boy and having just sucked on a bar of soap he was not going to say it again so he spelled it out bich. I had myself a good chuckle out of eye sight of course.
All we can do is love him, teach by example and hold him accountable for his actions.
He is a sweet, intelligent boy who is learning about life all around him, and some times that outside world is a whole lot more cruel and unfair then the world in our home.

Things my kid says...

I recently heard of a family whose son was very ill. He had meningitis, and his parents had to make the heart-wrenching decision to turn off the machines that were keeping him alive. We were talking about Cade over dinner, talking about how things happen and we have no control over them or idea that they are coming, but we have to rely on our FAITH and in God, that it's His plan, not ours.
Butter was very upset with the fact that the family had to decide to turn off the machines. She didn't really understand that it was the machines keeping Cade alive and that he would only BE alive as long as he stayed there in the hospital; hooked up to the machines. That his brain stopped working.
It isn't an easy thing to talk about, but we have Roo and you see, this little boy is so very smart. This was what he took away from it.
"So the body is like a car right Mom? And the car needs gas. And our bodies have gas right? The food we eat. I'll eat more helffy (healthy) stuff Mom, I promise. And a car needs to have oil because the engine wouldn't work without oil.  And our bloods our oil right? Cars need a key to start, if the car has no key it doesn't go."
"It won't go without the key no buddy."
"So his brain is the key then, and his body won't go without his brain?"
"That's right Roo."
He sat there quiet for a long time and let that sink in, after a bit he jumped down and left the table. I asked: "Where are you going?"
He said "Out to the car Mom, I'm gonna go honk the horn cause that's what you do Mom, you honk the horn when somebodies car doesn't work right. (He's remembering when I honk at people for not driving properly) I'm gonna honk it for Cade, cause his car doesn't work anymore."

I can not imagine the pain that this family is facing right now. I don't know them, I've never met Cade, but I have a friend whose life was touched by this boy. Would you do me a favor and say a prayer for this family, and if you feel like it, toot your horn for Cade.