I like to pride myself on my smarts. Not the rattle off prime numbers up a gazillion, or spell 4 syllable words smarts. No, I'm talking about my common sense smarts.
Like always carry tissues, someone somewhere will need them.
Or do not walk barefoot in the yard if poop hasn't been cleaned up in a week.
Or if you leave the milk out over night You probably shouldn't drink it.
Red is stop /green is go.
Hold the door for the person behind you
Wash your hands after you use the bathroom
Don't litter.
Common everyday sense.
I am like MASTER level, as a matter of fact I'd like you all to refer to me as DR. Sass. PHD in all things common sense related.
Let me tell you about why I'm on this little rant. It was brought to my attention this morning that Iran needs Dr. Sass to enlighten them.
(Ok , I was going to type his name, but I've decided NOT to, in case someone does a google search and My sweet little blog comes up and suddenly I have my own little jihad plot against me.) Common sense is telling me keep names out of it. You can read the names in the link,
So this Cleric decided that earthquakes are caused by women.
And I'm not talking Mother Earth.
He claims that women who wear immodest clothing and behave promiscuously are to blame for earthquakes.
"Many women who do not dress modestly...lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes."
Read it on www.cbsnews.com/stories/2010/04/19/world/main6411387.shtml
Huh? So when my daughter trys to wear those Capri pants or make-up or short sleeve shirts out with her friends I can now add to my list of WHY NOTS:
Because you will cause an earthquake! Do you want to be responsible for what happened in Haiti?!?! Cause wearing that, missy, will surely cause boys to loose their chastity and then well, we'll have an earthquake situation on our hands. Now go back to your room and put your burqa/burka on!
Here is what I know:
Sin is all over this world. Adam AND Eve BOTH took a bite of that apple.
Eve didn't slyly trick Adam into eating it. She certainly wasn't covered up, only to undress and corrupt him. No, they were naked, She listened to the snake and Adam sat by and LET her. Did he come to her rescue and say "WO, AH AH OH Eve baby that's a SNAKE, he's telling you a pact of lies. God said NOT to eat that. Let's go grab a burger and milkshake and I'll take you to the drive in. We can practise that reproduction stuff God was telling us about."
"OH, Adam," giggles Eve "You sure know how to make a girl feel special."
(because in MY head Adam sounds and acts like Danny Zuko and Eve is much like Sandy.)
I don't know that's just MY interpretation of it.
Earthquakes and hurricanes and tornadoes are a part of NATURE. Nobody has control over that. No human. What's the Dinosaurs story? I mean, She-lizards had to have done something REALLY bad, to cause a meteor to hit the planet and wipe out an entire species! Or the Wholly mammoths? What did they do, travel to far south get hot and shave themselves bare only to cause an ice age because they uncovered themselves?
Really? Reeeelly?
No, women are not the root of all evil, we are NOT the cause of things like corrupting chastity and earthquakes. It is the person who LETS themselves be corrupted by SIN.
The Minister of welfare and social security said: prayers and pleas of forgiveness were the best "formulas to repel earthquakes." He went on to say: "We cannot invent a system that prevents earthquakes, but God has created this system and that is to avoid sins, to pray, to seek forgiveness, pay alms and self-sacrifice."
Any one know what paying alms is? I may have to "bing" that. Bing is the new google on my HP.
All I can do is shake my head at this complete and utter non-sense. Here, I thought I should be praying for my friends jobs and health, for my family, for my desires to follow God the way he planned for me...you mean ALL this time I was suppose to be praying for forgiveness cause I fancy flip flops and letting my hair blow in the breeze? So, which disaster did I cause because frankly if I did something like that I'd like it to be named after me. My mom often said "Your room looks like a tornado went through it!"
I'm like the Tasmanian devil, wind me up and watch me go. But keep your males from me because I've been known to wear v-necked shirts! (*grasp* horror!)
Okay I've had enough crazy with my coffee this morning, I must now go plan out how I'm going to avoid sinning today. It all starts AFTER I hit publish, because I'm pretty sure sarcasm is a sin too!
Showing posts with label say what?. Show all posts
Showing posts with label say what?. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
What I have in common with Cat.
It is raining outside. It's been gloomy for nearly a week now. I've even heard the the utterance of snow. Having just come from a very short and mildly warm summer the thought of snow makes me want to hide in the closet with my heating blanket, fuzzy socks and coffee pot!
I am not ready for snow. I am not ready for the long winter months to start so early. We barely got summer, (Which is fine, I hate sweating) but NO autumn? It is the cruelest of jokes. Autumn is my favorite season. Here, in Minnesota, it can either rain through autumn or the heat can linger. Rarely do we see months of glorious sun, tempered by the crispness in the air. Those blessed days are rare. And that is why I love them so much. Winter can be cruel here. Long lasting, bitter-cold. Mountains of snow, wreaking havoc on your back when you need to shovel daily or if you are of a certain wealth and have snow mobiles then you detest the mild winters of barely enough snow to warrant buying boots.
No, I didn't plan to discuss Minnesota weather with you. My propose for writing today was to do a book review. I love to read, but I am a tough one to please, so when a book comes my way that I enjoy, I feel the need to pass it on. Oprah and I are like that, only when you come here there is no "YOU get a book and YOU get a book and YOU..." You get the point...
I used to hate libraries. Okay not libraries themselves but the limit. The DUE date. I hated that deadline hanging over my head: READ THIS BOOK AND RETURN IT BY...
It's too much pressure.
Then I committed the ultimate library sin. I LOST a book. Yep, somewhere between April 11, 1988 and May 1, 1988 I lost a V.C Andrews book. I couldn't tell you the title because I never read it, I ran out of time, then when I went to read it, I discovered it was lost. I got a fine. Thanks goodness there were no book police back then. I would have been jailed. A scrawny 12 year old doesn't have that kind of means to pay a lost book fine. It took years for me to come out of my library avoiding shell.
I could tell you why I was drawn to the scary books. I hated scary movies. The gore. The creepy killers, monsters, slashers. ECK!
I stopped reading those scary books after we lived in a house much to closely resembling a house I read about in one of those scary stories. I started writing my own stuff. That's when I became aware that I like "happy" endings. Nice, neat, all-tied-up-in-a-pretty-bow, happy endings.
As you may know I started telling a story based around my time in Boston. (The time is drawing close for the true part to end and the fiction to take over.) I did not stay in Boston. I came home with my tail between my legs and was forced into going to school for "something". That something I chose was a broadcasting certificate for a trade school. Not even a college. For you gals that went on to higher education I APPLAUD you. For me, it wasn't an option. I didn't want to be a slave to student loans the rest of my life. I did end up having a student loan and it is still hanging over my head. Why can't they just give you a test or something and say "Hey you have a talent for this...let us educate you freely and then give you a job so you can serve the kingdom of God using your natural gifts and talents."
I have NOT stepped off the reality train, in case you were wondering. I just think BIG with my heart. I should have been put in charge of that apple tree, because there would have been no biting. Oh I would have been tempted, but I don't have the want to higher knowledge. I'm good right here in my bubble staring at the beauty right in front of me, dripping down my deck, pooling in the rocks and making mud...yep it sure is beautiful!
See what happens when I'm liquored up on caffeine? There should be a law. But then there are too many of those stupid things. Like no left turns in New Orleans. If you don't believe me, go here and read about it. Hey, Rachel we can turn left up here, oh and I'm told we know nothing about humidity either. So grab a parka and come on up, you will always be able to find mittens for your little muffin.
Ooh, speaking of muffins, did you know Ty Pennington and the gang are in town doing a home makeover for a local family. If it wasn't raining I'd go check it out, but he's probably hiding in the tent somewhere.
This morning I had a serious case of brain fart. As you are witnessing that moment has passed, it seems to have moved onto a random thought, clogged filter information explosion. Try SAYING that one fast? I did and ended up spitting squash on the screen. I just warmed it in the microwave and it was hot.
MMMM, squash. Buttercup squash, with butter and brown sugar. I'm the only one that likes it so it takes three days to eat.
Where was I going with this?
Book review. YES!
Good gracious I've run out of time. Plus I don't want to tarnish the review with this rubbish.
If you read this whole post, well you must have been bored. I think that I should only be allowed to write in the late evenings when the thoughts have slowed down and the coffee has warn off.
It would be safer that way. I'll go write the review right now and post it tomorrow. It seems that Cat isn't the only one in the house loosing her mental facilities.
I am not ready for snow. I am not ready for the long winter months to start so early. We barely got summer, (Which is fine, I hate sweating) but NO autumn? It is the cruelest of jokes. Autumn is my favorite season. Here, in Minnesota, it can either rain through autumn or the heat can linger. Rarely do we see months of glorious sun, tempered by the crispness in the air. Those blessed days are rare. And that is why I love them so much. Winter can be cruel here. Long lasting, bitter-cold. Mountains of snow, wreaking havoc on your back when you need to shovel daily or if you are of a certain wealth and have snow mobiles then you detest the mild winters of barely enough snow to warrant buying boots.
No, I didn't plan to discuss Minnesota weather with you. My propose for writing today was to do a book review. I love to read, but I am a tough one to please, so when a book comes my way that I enjoy, I feel the need to pass it on. Oprah and I are like that, only when you come here there is no "YOU get a book and YOU get a book and YOU..." You get the point...
I used to hate libraries. Okay not libraries themselves but the limit. The DUE date. I hated that deadline hanging over my head: READ THIS BOOK AND RETURN IT BY...
It's too much pressure.
Then I committed the ultimate library sin. I LOST a book. Yep, somewhere between April 11, 1988 and May 1, 1988 I lost a V.C Andrews book. I couldn't tell you the title because I never read it, I ran out of time, then when I went to read it, I discovered it was lost. I got a fine. Thanks goodness there were no book police back then. I would have been jailed. A scrawny 12 year old doesn't have that kind of means to pay a lost book fine. It took years for me to come out of my library avoiding shell.
I could tell you why I was drawn to the scary books. I hated scary movies. The gore. The creepy killers, monsters, slashers. ECK!
I stopped reading those scary books after we lived in a house much to closely resembling a house I read about in one of those scary stories. I started writing my own stuff. That's when I became aware that I like "happy" endings. Nice, neat, all-tied-up-in-a-pretty-bow, happy endings.
As you may know I started telling a story based around my time in Boston. (The time is drawing close for the true part to end and the fiction to take over.) I did not stay in Boston. I came home with my tail between my legs and was forced into going to school for "something". That something I chose was a broadcasting certificate for a trade school. Not even a college. For you gals that went on to higher education I APPLAUD you. For me, it wasn't an option. I didn't want to be a slave to student loans the rest of my life. I did end up having a student loan and it is still hanging over my head. Why can't they just give you a test or something and say "Hey you have a talent for this...let us educate you freely and then give you a job so you can serve the kingdom of God using your natural gifts and talents."
I have NOT stepped off the reality train, in case you were wondering. I just think BIG with my heart. I should have been put in charge of that apple tree, because there would have been no biting. Oh I would have been tempted, but I don't have the want to higher knowledge. I'm good right here in my bubble staring at the beauty right in front of me, dripping down my deck, pooling in the rocks and making mud...yep it sure is beautiful!
See what happens when I'm liquored up on caffeine? There should be a law. But then there are too many of those stupid things. Like no left turns in New Orleans. If you don't believe me, go here and read about it. Hey, Rachel we can turn left up here, oh and I'm told we know nothing about humidity either. So grab a parka and come on up, you will always be able to find mittens for your little muffin.
Ooh, speaking of muffins, did you know Ty Pennington and the gang are in town doing a home makeover for a local family. If it wasn't raining I'd go check it out, but he's probably hiding in the tent somewhere.
This morning I had a serious case of brain fart. As you are witnessing that moment has passed, it seems to have moved onto a random thought, clogged filter information explosion. Try SAYING that one fast? I did and ended up spitting squash on the screen. I just warmed it in the microwave and it was hot.
MMMM, squash. Buttercup squash, with butter and brown sugar. I'm the only one that likes it so it takes three days to eat.
Where was I going with this?
Book review. YES!
Good gracious I've run out of time. Plus I don't want to tarnish the review with this rubbish.
If you read this whole post, well you must have been bored. I think that I should only be allowed to write in the late evenings when the thoughts have slowed down and the coffee has warn off.
It would be safer that way. I'll go write the review right now and post it tomorrow. It seems that Cat isn't the only one in the house loosing her mental facilities.
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