Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Say WHAT?!?

I like to pride myself on my smarts. Not the rattle off prime numbers up a gazillion, or spell 4 syllable words smarts. No, I'm talking about my common sense smarts.
Like always carry tissues, someone somewhere will need them.
Or do not walk barefoot in the yard if poop hasn't been cleaned up in a week.
Or if you leave the milk out over night You probably shouldn't drink it.
Red is stop /green is go.
Hold the door for the person behind you
Wash your hands after you use the bathroom
Don't litter.
Common everyday sense.
I am like MASTER level, as a matter of fact I'd like you all to refer to me as DR. Sass. PHD in all things common sense related.
Let me tell you about why I'm on this little rant. It was brought to my attention this morning that Iran needs Dr. Sass to enlighten them.
(Ok , I was going to type his name, but I've decided NOT to, in case someone does a google search and My sweet little blog comes up and suddenly I have my own little jihad plot against me.) Common sense is telling me keep names out of it. You can read the names in the link,
So this Cleric decided that earthquakes are caused by women.
And I'm not talking Mother Earth.
He claims that women who wear immodest clothing and behave promiscuously are to blame for earthquakes.
"Many women who do not dress modestly...lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes."
Read it on www.cbsnews.com/stories/2010/04/19/world/main6411387.shtml

Huh? So when my daughter trys to wear those Capri pants or make-up or short sleeve shirts out with her friends I can now add to my list of WHY NOTS:
Because you will cause an earthquake! Do you want to be responsible for what happened in Haiti?!?! Cause wearing that, missy, will surely cause boys to loose their chastity and then well, we'll have an earthquake situation on our hands. Now go back to your room and put your burqa/burka on!

Here is what I know:
Sin is all over this world. Adam AND Eve BOTH took a bite of that apple.
Eve didn't slyly trick Adam into eating it. She certainly wasn't covered up, only to undress and corrupt him. No, they were naked, She listened to the snake and Adam sat by and LET her. Did he come to her rescue and say "WO, AH AH OH Eve baby that's a SNAKE, he's telling you a pact of lies. God said NOT to eat that. Let's go grab a burger and milkshake and I'll take you to the drive in. We can practise that reproduction stuff God was telling us about."
"OH, Adam," giggles Eve "You sure know how to make a girl feel special."
(because in MY head Adam sounds and acts like Danny Zuko and Eve is much like Sandy.)
I don't know that's just MY interpretation of it.
Earthquakes and hurricanes and tornadoes are a part of NATURE. Nobody has control over that. No human. What's the Dinosaurs story? I mean, She-lizards had to have done something REALLY bad, to cause a meteor to hit the planet and wipe out an entire species! Or the Wholly mammoths? What did they do, travel to far south get hot and shave themselves bare only to cause an ice age because they uncovered themselves?
Really? Reeeelly?
No, women are not the root of all evil, we are NOT the cause of things like corrupting chastity and earthquakes. It is the person who LETS themselves be corrupted by SIN.
The Minister of welfare and social security said: prayers and pleas of forgiveness were the best "formulas to repel earthquakes." He went on to say: "We cannot invent a system that prevents earthquakes, but God has created this system and that is to avoid sins, to pray, to seek forgiveness, pay alms and self-sacrifice."
Any one know what paying alms is? I may have to "bing" that. Bing is the new google on my HP.
All I can do is shake my head at this complete and utter non-sense. Here, I thought I should be praying for my friends jobs and health, for my family, for my desires to follow God the way he planned for me...you mean ALL this time I was suppose to be praying for forgiveness cause I fancy flip flops and letting my hair blow in the breeze? So, which disaster did I cause because frankly if I did something like that I'd like it to be named after me. My mom often said "Your room looks like a tornado went through it!"
I'm like the Tasmanian devil, wind me up and watch me go. But keep your males from me because I've been known to wear v-necked shirts! (*grasp* horror!)
Okay I've had enough crazy with my coffee this morning, I must now go plan out how I'm going to avoid sinning today. It all starts AFTER I hit publish, because I'm pretty sure sarcasm is a sin too!


  1. It's really sad!!! I just read last night that in Thailand that it is expected for men to severely beat their wives on a regular basis and that if they don't they are considered weak. PRAISE GOD we were not born into that. And God please help us spread the freedom of Your love, to release these people from the bondage of this world!

  2. LOL!! I read that story yesterday and I was like, "Really??!!" Some people are so weird...

    And, as paranoid as this sounds, it was probably a good idea not to write the name. People are CRAZY!!!!

  3. are you stinkin' SERIOUS!?? gotta be kidding me? for real?

    i love your sarcasm today by the way.


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