Wednesday, February 1, 2012


Sometimes I am amazed over the need for people to share their opinions.
It is why I blog. It's a place for me to express my opinions.
That and I love to write.
You as the reader get to decide if it's worth your time to stop and read what the writer wrote.
And whether or not you are going to comment.
Last night I was given a good dose of opinions on facebook.
It started our with my vague status post:

I'm going to do it.

which was soon followed by a snarky comment by my brother in law:

"What get a job?"

I responded with:
being a chef, teacher, therapist, chauffeur, maid and nanny just isn't enough right?

He proceeded to tell me that being a mother doesn't pay the bills and when the "money tree dries up" I need to "bring something to the table" because his "Wife has the same job (as a mother) and works full time."
My reply to him was asking why he was dogging on me and if he had a problem with stay at home moms to go ahead and air it out.

A sweet friend of mine commented with encouragement for what ever I was going to do.
"go hardand with God" she said.

My next commenter though; came as a surprise. Firstly she is a friend of my husbands, thus I acquired her as a "friend". Secondly, her content.
She felt the need to express herself that she "is not less of a mother because I work. I help my husband support the family as a whole. Couples need to work together when times are tough. It  is not a one person job in today's economy."

What started out as a kind reply to a snarky comment became a full blow, what felt like to me, attack on my family's personal choices.
As I've said many times on this blog; From the beginning Rob and I always said we would be a one income family once we had children, and I being the skilled one in child care having been a nanny for 15+ years, would be the one to stay home.

I have also said We are so lucky to be able to do that.

I have also said that some women choose to work, because they feel that is where their skills are.
And sadly, for some women it is not a choice, but rather a fact of life.

When Rob and I first made our decision, he was working full time and getting yearly bonus'. As the economic climate changed so did the income. We adjusted. With every change, we adjusted.
Rob and I are great communicators. We respect each other and work well together at compromising.
We love each other deeply and rely on each other.
It became clear to me early on what would need to be done. (Let go of the house) But my husband wasn't ready. God revealed himself and we changed course. Then our world was rocked by the loss of Rob's job. God was asking us to trust him. Not halfway, not a little bit while we continued to charge on, but to trust him fully.
There is no where else to go when God takes away the one thing you cling to for control over your situation. Money.
Once we completely surrendered God lit a path for us. And it has been full of blessing.
These last few months, Our kids are in a better school district and thriving!  
We are renting so our bills have actually decreased in amount and size. We have actually been able to payoff a tremendous amount of debt. We have built a stronger foundation for our ourselves by leaning into God and holding tight to each other.

I feel like I am looked at as a lazy person for being "just" a stay at home mom. I feel like people think just because I'm not working outside the home that I don't provide for my family, and I certainly feel the judgement when somebody tells me: "I or my wife does all that and works."

Look, I'm not going to debate who works harder...
We all have to make sacifices for our beliefs and values.

Our values are that kids need a parent full time throughout their young lives, that is why I spent 15 years being a nanny and working in child care, because God gave me a heart for caring for kids.
God also brought a man into my life that was a perfect provider, whose heart was open to being a one income family and who valued one parent being the primary care giver.

I don't know when or how God is going to bring steady income back into our lives but I do know that he will, and it will be all that we need.

I  know that things are on my heart to try and just because there is not a check in the mail from them, doesn't mean they are any less worthy of trying out.
I am so honored to have a man that will stand up for me, for our family and for our choices. Even when the "world" is telling us different.
And even though Facebook encourages us to accept friends, sometimes the people that can't, don't or won't support you need to be released from the temptation to give their opinions. LOL!


  1. I saw that and believe that those commenters are people whose faces I'd very much enjoy slamming a cream pie into.

    It is your perogative and NOBODY else's flipping business what you choose to do. That's between you and your husband, and it sounds like you guys have it covered. The rest of them can suck it. Haters gonna hate! LOL

    For the record, I've worked a high-stress job (one that required around 55 hours a week and being on call 24/7, literally every hour every day), and still I find being a stay at home mom more challenging. I work part-time and feel like going to my job is the easy part of the week (while my job at home with my baby is my FAVORITE thing in this life!).

    Just as working doesn't make a mom who has to leave her kids at daycare ANY LESS of a mother, neither does a wife who doesn't work and chooses to sacrifice in other areas make her ANY LESS of a WIFE.

    People will always have opinions. Better yet, people will always say stupid things. One of these days I'll be ready with a pie in my hand.

  2. Sara, I love reading your blog, and am so glad you love to write :) I saw your post last night and thought to myself - Ouch!! I worked full time for 15 years, the last 3 were out of necessity. For the first 5 years of my oldest's life, I worked so we could have extra, and do more. I would trade all of the extra to have the time back with my kids. I always dreamed of being able to stay home and take care of my family in a way I wasn't able to as a full time working Mom. I give a lot of credit to the women who do both well, honestly I really didn't. As a nurse, my job was not flexible. I couldn't leave to pop in for lunch or help in class, or for a field trip unless I took the day off a month in advance. How often do we know about those things a month in advance? And there was the guilt.... All that being said, I've been home and homeschooling for the past 6 months. We sacrifice a lot being a 1 income family, as you well know. It is worth it though. But somedays, I pray...Lord, are you sure I shouldn't go back to work? LOL! It is certainly one of the hardest jobs I have had!

    1. Lorie, homeschooling! Girl that is EPIC! I know several people that are doing that for one reason or another. If it came down to it, I would do it for my kids. I hear ya on the "Lord, are you sure..."
      Seriously, thank you for comments.:0)


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